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October 2011 Weddings

NWR: good and bad news...

Some background: I'm an audio engineer, and my main job is running monitor mixes for the band and vocalists at one of those ridic huge megachurch. I don't really get along with the guy who does front of house (what the audience hears) and he seems to think I'm incapable of doing my job. I think he is a small-minded douchecanoe. So there's that.

I was approached by my boss today and he told me another employee is quitting, some guy in the video department. When he asked how do I think that affects me, I had no idea. But then remembered that guy has an audio background and usually fills in for the aforementioned douchecanoe when he is sick or on vacation. Apparently, this will now fall on me. Starting tomorrow night.

I already have awful anxiety in the position I currently hold. This new one is a million times worse. Just knowing I will be judged so hard from the beginning makes it a trillion times even worse than that. Granted, if I "pass", I'll likely also get a raise. But I might have 12 panic attacks in the process.

It's hard to explain without writing a book, but it's a lot of pressure and is freaking me out.

Re: NWR: good and bad news...

  • Deep breaths, you'll do fine.  Go prove the nay-sayers wrong :)
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  • It's so bizarre. In school I was very confident in my work and knew I was good, but the negativity I receive from the peole here has just chipped away at that over the past 2 years. Until now I felt like I was wasting my time and talent on a job that never offers anything new. Ha!
  • I know exactly how you feel. I work doing video production at a local university but the work isn't hard and I dont have a chance to really use my skills. Late last year I got a call asking me to work as a video editor at the super bowl and I was so nervous I made myself sick because I had NO confidence whatsoever in my skills. But I rocked it. And they want me back next year :) Sometimes it takes an opportunity that you aren't entirely comfortable with to be able to prove to yourself what you're capable of.
  • Seriously though, the night before I left for Dallas and the first week there I was sick.
  • well, since you work at a church, i'll assume your boss is part of the church - you're not supposed to judge others in church, so I wouldn't worry about it. You'll do fine, I'm sure.  Just stop worrying, calm down, and it will be fine.
  • I know it's easier said than done - but just try to keep your head in your work and don't let anyone's negativity or the "all eyes on me" feeling shake you.  You're a trained professional - and you wouldn't be trusted with these added responsibilities if it were thought that you can't handle it.   If worse comes to worse you could always do the Stuart Smalley affirmations (from old school SNL) - "I'm good enough, I'm smart enought", and gosh darn-it people like me!"
  • You know what you're capable of and that's all that matters.  I agree, take a deep breat and go out there and do great!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2011-weddings_nwr-good-bad-news?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:650Discussion:a8d629e9-7e53-4cf3-b009-96d666bbce7fPost:e17e5155-5829-4bbd-8613-ccc5aacf1e40">Re: NWR: good and bad news...</a>:
    [QUOTE]well, since you work at a church, i'll assume your boss is part of the church - you're not supposed to judge others in church, so I wouldn't worry about it. You'll do fine, I'm sure.  Just stop worrying, calm down, and it will be fine.
    Posted by kalizoomba[/QUOTE]

    Yes, he is a pastor. But, he's also the same prick who judged me, hard, when I told him I was pregnant 2 years ago. So there's that. Thanks for the encouragement ladies!
  • reliartreliart member
    you are going to do great! this is a great opportunity to show the doucheroo what you are made of! rock it, lady!
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