How involved in the wedding planning were your fiancee's?

sarah42nd

How involved in the wedding planning were your fiancee's?

I was talking to FI last night  about venue. I know he is a man . But sometimes I wish he would get more involved. Basically he would be fine with anything I do. Last Night he told me this is my day and I can do what I want . I was like well its your day too. Then he said  I am fine with whatever you choose.   Ugh men.  My fi would  be fine getting married anywhere , courthouse, venue.  I just want to involve him in some way with the wedding and decision making and like I go to him with two chooses for something I like and ask him what he thinks. He will either say I like them both or whatever one I want to use....

MrsWhitneyAmanda

DH wasn't involved in the tiny details but he most definitely had his say in the big ones. He was the one who insisted that a wedding day is about both the bride and the groom and he never let me forget it. He picked the formality of the event by choosing to wear tails, he chose our flowers, and he had a lot to do with our ceremony music. He was also involved in choosing our photographer and our reception venue. He also had a big say in the colors for the wedding - I would have loved pink, blue, and white but he put the kibosh on anything pink anywhere in the wedding. Little details like programs, favors, and centerpieces were left up to me

mlharbis

I am doing pretty much all the details too but just telling FI of everything that I am doing. I picked out some reception places and he helped me decide which one I wanted. He also helped with tasting the cake (of course, there was cake involved!), meeting the photographer, meeting the DJ, one or 2 meetings with the DOC, and meetings the florist. He just helped me pick the people I was going to use and then I was left to decide what I wanted to do with them. His only floral request was that his bout was pheasant feathers. I made him help me decide the music too. Throughout the whole process his favorite saying has been whatever you want, but I think I got his opinion on most everything I wanted from him.

AileeneG

Mine was way more involved than I expected him to be.  There were things he had an opinion on and the rest, he let me handle. He picked the color. I never even saw what the guys were wearing until after they had done fittings and such. He didn't care what flowers, but he didn't want to wear them, so no bouts, We both decided on the venue together, but he dealt with them and all the paperwork. I didn't even speak to anyone there until the day before the wedding. He took care of tables and chairs.
He also built the dance floor and light stands and other large items for the wedding decor.  Oh, and he also booked the cake person.

So basically, he picked the things that he cared about and the rest he just told me to do whatever I wanted.

sarah42nd

I think my fiancee will get more involved in things that involve electrical , music, audio and sound. He works for an audio viuial company.

x3Harmony534

I was going to suggest involving him in things that may be important to him, but it seems like you've already got that figued out . My FI would do anything I want & has been pretty passive in the planning process... but he gives his opinion too (when he has one... a lot of things he doesn't care one way or another on). I let him do the food stuff, he chose the caterer (good choice!) & he's going to be choosing cake flavors. The rest to him doesn't matter much. He even agreed to the venue sight unseen, I had to MAKE him come see it lol. He's been supportive though and driven to every appointment with me. He's just too laid back to have much of an opinion about the little details.

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therockisblinding05

We picked the caterer/venue together and the music, but he pretty much came along to any appointment I wanted him to whether he wanted to or not. But he was pretty much like "whatever you want, I'll be ok with" He had his preferences but in the end didn't really care. But he has been helpful w/ the DIY stuff- gluing and cutting, etc. and working on the RD and HM.

eso16208

Mine does A/V work also. So he deemed himself in charge of the Audio and DJ. He is also contacting hotels to block rooms. As far as the rest of it, he wanted to see the venue before I booked it, and he is VERY excited about anything to do with food (caterers and cake). We haven't ventured into Tux land yet, but I'm sure that will be like pulling teeth. 

Sarah, what type of AV work does your FI do? Mine is looking for work as his prior company had to let 3/4 of the staff go due to the economy. 

sarah42nd

He works for a audio, visual , lighting company. There's only 5 people( 2 of them own the company)  who work there but its basically the only place in brevard that really does it. They hired a guy not to long ago and fired him because they just didn't have enough to keep him busy . But they just got a biig deal somewhere and  he told me the product list alone for one project is 100,00 and they have like 4 more projects for that company coming up. So now there probably going to hire more but who knows. They do work at the school board, all the schools in brevard, a few places down in port saint lucie, Harris, DRS are just a few places I can remember. lol. Its a good job and he has been there for 3 years ( i think maybe 4 ).  Here is a link to the company website  ... http://imavl.com/

Justin LOVES to cook so I am letting him pick alot of our menu because we are doing it ourselves ( with family help).

lovetothinkpink

My FI has been very involved,but I also try to make it easy on him.When we were picking colors I found probably 5 or 6 combos I liked and then asked him which he liked.I don't think many men want to sit there for hours looking for colors or flowers.I think narrowing down the choices maked it  a lot easier and pleasant.

cjbwifey2010

Mine was pretty involved. He loved the 1st venue we saw and it ended up being the venue we chose. He picked the look of the cake, he picked the month we are getting married in as well. As for other things, we pretty much did them together, but when it got to details...i'm the one who handles those (probably because i will have a heart attack if things get messed up!. I can't trust FI with small details LOL

Prime example: while stuffing the invites, I told him to place the address labels on each envelope. Come to find out that 15 of the envelopes were messed up because he didnt check the back to see where the opening was...so they were all sideways! It drove me up a wall, but he didnt get fired LOL. He made sure they were all done the right way after that!

SO i guess i would say he helped with a good amount of things!

cherriterri519

We made just about all of our decisions together.  He even went dress shopping with me.  He wasn't too involved with DIY stuff because he didn't want to mess anything up, but other than that, he was very involved and helpful.  We set up an email account for wedding realted stuff, and he had it go to his blackberry and outlook, so he read all the correspondence between me and the vendors.  He picked the cake flavor, we chose the ceremony music together, and the list goes on.

sarah42nd

Terri I love your picture . Its really cute.

 Yeah Justin is a self proclaimed procrastinator. HE thinks that the wedding is just going to magicly appear in March . The other day when we were talking to my parents about going to pick our venue . He goes well march is so far away . I am like its nine months . Come on.

Maggie214624

My FI has been pretty actively involved with vendor meetings and I try to consult with him on pretty much everything.  Funny side note on this, I think part of his active involvement has to do with a friend of mine who recently got married  that told him that he should have an opinion on things because her now DH didn't give her any real feedback on the details.  Looking back on the early stages of planning, I think he took her advice and played along a bit because he thought he was supposed to!  Now I think he genuinely is into it, but I am not certain that he really cared that much about the table runners six months ago! lol

sarah42nd

Yeah . you got lucky Maggie . I wish Justin went to alt of wedding but he has only been to a few. Its hard for him to grasp the fact that we have to plan it out. Its not just something we can throw together last min.

AileeneG

Have you printed out a checklist with timeline of things to do for the wedding? Maybe seeing everything that needs to be done will give him a better picture of the need for time and planning.  When we were picking  a date, my husband said he didn't understand how it could possibly take a year or more to plan a wedding, but after we got into the planning, he really saw why it takes that long.  

sarah42nd

Aileene You must of read my mind. I was just thinking about printing out another checklest so I could give it to him . Thanks.

irisheyezfsu

My FI really cars about the food, he is kinda a foodie, so that is his biggest concern. I say as long as I can't eat something there and most people will be happy with the choices go for it, because I know what he chooses will taste amazing.  On big things he is helping me, such as choosing a venue, music etc.  I usually present ideas to him and then he is yes or presents his ideas. Make a good team, we want it to be about ourselves not just "the bride".  I also picked out a theme that really had peices of us both in in. 

sarah42nd

I just printed off a  wedding checklist that was 16 pages, Then I higlighted things I have done already. So now I am going to show him when he gets off work and see what he says ...


Earlier while my stepson was eating lunch he fell asleep  at his highchair . lol

kenzie.lee.85

My fiance is pretty involved too, he goes to all the meetings with me, I'm pretty sure a big part of it is because we're still new here and all my BM live far away so I think he feels bad. But hes really good about giving his opinions

sarah42nd

Yeah sometimes I wish my fiancee was . Personally he would be fine with anything. Everytime I ask his opinion on most of thing will go i am fine with anything . It is your day.... ugh ... I think he will get more involved in the food .lol.

genevievenavarro

I thought that my FI was the only man involved in a wedding. Lol. Every other man that I've ever seen didn't want anything to do with it. I always tease him and tell him that my friend, Hillary, told me to find a man that may be gay if I want to be happy. Its nice to know that my FI is not the only one at the bridal salon. He actually picked out a dress for me because he saw it in a window. He made me go in and try it on in front of him. The lady looked at us like we had two heads! It was beautiful but he saw me in it so there went that one! We picked out the date together. Valentines Day is our favorite holiday. He picked the ceremony site - Cocoa Beach because that is where we go on weekend get-aways to get away from the kids. We live on the West coast. As far as the reception venue, he told me if he had to look at another menue he was going to scream. So I had to pick that one out because he was serious.  Cake tastings should be fun. It takes this man 30 minutes to pick out ice cream! If I go with It's Tasty Too he has 6 flavors!