Is it rude....?

therockisblinding05

I have this friend who just got engaged and I am SOOO pumped for her! we know A LOT of the same people and we are pretty sure that they are going to want to get married next summer as well. They're invited to our wedding but it's too early to send save the dates and if they're like us, they will find a date pretty early on. We don't really talk very regularly (I found on FB she was engaged), but I want to make sure they know that we want them at our wedding and not to book on July 4. I feel funny calling or messaging her and like demanding July 4 be our day (I don't own it!) and obvi, I'm not going to be the B who is telling them when to make their wedding date but I just don't know what is the best way to politely tell them to save the date without sending the cards yet. What is a nice way to suggest to them to stay away from our wedding day??

AlexiaANDRobert

"Hey, I heard you got engaged! Congratulations!  Just giving you a heads up before our STDs go out - we're getting married on July 4th and would love to have you there!  Can I have your address?  Also, I've been researching a while and also, if you need help, join theknot and get on the CFL board! Tons of info there." If you have the same circle of friends, and already paid for/booked things, I really don't think this is bitchy.  

AlexiaANDRobert

I feel like it's an indirect way of giving her a heads up cause you put other info in there that isn't just about her not booking on your date. I could be waaay off here.

umcollegegrl

"Hey! Congrats on the engagement! I'm so happy for you!. Fi and I are having a great time planning our wedding for the fourth of July (we hope you and your FI can make it!), have you thought about any potential dates for your wedding yet? Maybe we can share some advice and bounce planning ideas off each other. Congrats again!"

umcollegegrl

haha Alexia and I nearly wrote the same exact thing lol

abooth24

you should call/email/talk to her and tell her that although you don't have stds yet that you really want to make sure that she will be able to come to your wedding and give her the date. It will makes her feel really special that you want her to come and as your friend she will make sure not to plan her wedding on the same day so she can come to your wedding.

abooth24

I just basically wrote the same thing as you guys ^_^. It must be good advice right!

LoLoWedsM

I like what Alexia said and I am sure if you have mutual friends she would like to have a heads up on your date just in case that was one of the dates she was thinking about. I know I would feel terrible if I unknowingly booked the same date as a friend of mine and would be a little mad at her for not letting me know about her date.

AlexiaANDRobert

Well, we can't all be wrong 

bcnoelle

If you feel awkward about mentioning it, maybe have a mutual friend tell her that she heard you guys were planning a July 4th weekend wedding. That way you don't come across as pushy....or have someone look up your wedding website with her that may show the date.

John and Charisma <3

I like what Alexia said. Just tell her and be extra nice about it. Do it sooner rather than later.

therockisblinding05

Thanks y'all! you always give the best advice...I knew there was a reason I joined this board! I think what you guys said sounds perfect, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being rude or pushy or Bridezilla-ish.