NWR: Just need to vent....Mothers and money

BananaMustang

I apologize in advance for the length of this post....... Does anyone else feel that there are certain things you just cant discuss with your parents? The big one with my mom is spending money.... Anytime I even talk about the fact we spent money, it's like this big deal, and I get the "I dont approve with your decision" tone....even if I found the best deal in the world.... The latest thing is that FI got a new motorcycle....He didnt buy it, his parents did. This was a gift they wanted to give to him.....Lots more details behind it, but in the end, the only change in money for FI is that his insurance is now higher....BUT we sat down, calculated his budget to make sure he could still afford all his bills, save money, and not feel like he was living paycheck to paycheck.... My mom's comment for the past week is "I just dont understand why he needs two bikes" in a very snotty tone....I told her "Then what's the point of having two cars"....her response was we always had the amount of cars we had drivers....which I know isn't true because at one time it was her and I living in the house and there were three cars in the driveway....But I didnt mention that... In the end, it's not her decision what we do with our money....and she really doesnt have to understand our reasons....I just don't really want her snotty attitude about it.... I know she means well and wants to know that we start out on the right foot...and we are trying very hard to do that....so why is it we have to do everything her way when it comes to money (or other things)? I love my mom, but sometimes she just really frustrates me....She expects that everyone does things her way and if they don't, then they are wrong....and that just makes me crazy some days..... Thanks for letting me vent....

AlexiaANDRobert

I know it's a vent... but I feel ya.Sometimes I wonder if it's a generational thing.My mom is super old school and had to flee communist Cuba - she doesn't understand why FI and I drive brand new cars and/or go to dinner 4+ times a week.I'd just take it with a grain of salt and smile and nod (but not in the disrespectful way - she is your mother).  It's hard, but it doesn't seem like the comments are going to stop.GL!   And even though I hate motorcycles (so scary!) I'll say congrats on the new toy!

John and Charisma <3

Our mothers must know each other, lol. I know how you feel!

adorablyalice

*hug* I know exactly how you feel.I'm honestly regretting asking my mom to help me plan my wedding. I'm in school full time, so I thought I'd really appreciate her help and input. However, what was supposed to make wedding planning easier has only made it more stressful! To make matters worse, she's shooting down my ideas that I want for MY wedding, because in her head she's envisioning something much more elaborate, but I'm looking for a simple, minimalist type of wedding.She wants tall, elegant centerpieces. They're gorgeous, and I like them....but...my fiance and I are both part time clowns and our clown names are Lucky (him) and Bamboo (me), so I thought it would be perfect to make centerpiece/party favors of small plants of heart shaped lucky bamboo.She's constantly griping to me about how we're going to pay. I don't expect her to pay, she was unemployed all of last year and is still catching up on her unpaid bills. I fully expect that my fiance and I will pay the burden of the wedding, and we are okay with that.My mom is turning into the mother bridzilla, and I don't know how I can deal with it (without hurting her feelings and pushing her away) and still stay sane. I don't know how else to say: I want lucky bamboo, and I have to put my school work before wedding planning.I'm not a girly girl and she knows that. I know we need to plan things early, but do I need to do every thing all at once?

Pretty Parula

Vent away, honey! We've already talked about my mom a while ago, she's SO much like this. Honestly, I haven't spoken to my parents about the wedding in over a month because I don't want to hear the snotty, condescending comments. And you're all right, it's always about the money. I do think that they've become so accustomed to their priorities that they don't adjust well to seeing us have different priorities in our adult lives. Alexia and Alice, maybe we should start a support group! LOL