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Bridesmaids, bridesmaids, bridesmaids...

So, I have three bridesmaids, two of which are my very best friends. One of them I met in college and loved her to death. Well, since graduating college I haven't been able to speak to her much since I asked her to be my bridesmaid. I have no problem with that, but she seems a little  stand-offish to being in the wedding. Not because of me or anything, but I think it has to do with the fact that she has to buy a dress and shoes, ect. I by no means want my girls to spend more than $100 for their dresses (it will probably be way under that). I would love for her to be in the wedding still, but I'm so worried she is going to pull out at the last second. She hasn't said anything to me about not wanting to be in and I've asked her a couple times to make sure she was up to it. How would you handle the situation? I'll probably just go with the flow and if something happens I'll just have 2 bridesmaids and my groom will have 3....I guess no biggie. I'll just be hurt. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

Re: Bridesmaids, bridesmaids, bridesmaids...

  • cjbwifey2010cjbwifey2010 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I havent been in this situation before so i couldn't help you there, BUT i think that if you've already spoken to her about it a few times and she still hasn't said anything to you...i would just go with the flow unless you want to do a whole "confrontation style" conversation where you pretty much just let her know how you have been feeling and remind her that it is totally fine with you if she doesn't want to do it, just that you would appreciate her to let you know now instead of telling you later. 

    There's nothing worst than getting the unexpected!

    I hope this situation works out for you!
  • Theresa626Theresa626 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you've already asked her then there's nothing you can do.  Just try to let it go. 
  • edited December 2011
    I actually had this problem.  One of my bridesmaids who I had a feeling would pull the money card (which I understand but don't because I told her I would pay for her dress but whatever) called me and said she couldn't be in the wedding anymore and I had to deal with finding a replacement (I wanted FI and my sides to be even).  It ended up working out for the best because FI's sister was able to do it when originally she thought she wouldn't be able to since she just had a baby. 
    So, I guess just go with the flow and whatever happens with her happens.  I know it stinks and hurts your feelings (I was really hurt by my friend) but you can't worry about what may happen until it actually happens and have to remember that its not because of you, its because of money. 
    Everything will work out like it is supposed to!
  • edited December 2011
    Maybe if you find a dress you like for them, ask her if she can afford to buy that dress and shoes. If she acts like she can't then say to her that she does not need to feel obligated to be in the wedding if she can't afford it. I really don't know how else you can handle it besides going with the flow. If it happens then that stinks but it isn't guaranteed that it will happen. GL with everything!
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies!

    I'll take all of your advice and go with the flow. We're meeting in a couple weeks to go over dresses and set up a time to go, get fitted, and possibly order the dresses together. Hopefully I can feel the situation out over the next 3 months or so or else I may have to find a replacement as well. It stinks being unsure. Thanks everyone!
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