VENT: Now I see why they say this is the worst of the planning process.....

ErikaMissAmerica

Yes, that would be the guest list. 

I had been asking my FMIL for the last three months for the list of relatives to add. I asked and asked and asked; no final response with names and addresses. My FI assured me that the list that I had composed was close enough and there should be room left for, at most, five others. So, I had ordered my STDs and Invites already (over a week ago) and come to find out that my FMIL comes back to me now to give me additions of more people that I will be meeting for the first time at my wedding and then will probably never see again in my life. Oh, and it's 15 more people!!! 

I'm a budget bride and am freaking out at the thought of having 155 people at the wedding. 

Now, my mind is going over the numbers, asking myself what I'm going to have to cut from my wedding to make my 15K budget, after expecting to pay for just 130 people? And how can I ask my parents to pay for that much more? More chairs, more centerpieces, more food, more drinks, more linens....

Thanks for letting me vent. Any ideas on how to handle this? Can I have my FI tell his mom that we can't invite her whole family? I mean, my family is hosting/paying for it. 

I'm feeling lately like this wedding is happening for other people, more than for my FI and I.

waterroxy17

Sorry you are going through that, i have been also before sending out save the dates! it's such a hard decisioin and people get offended... but in the end you are marrying you FI and thats all that matters

Krysta6

I had a problem like this with my parents. We said we wanted 80-100 guests total. Well they gave me a list of 80 peoople they wanted invited to the wedding! I had to cut it down. The way my FI and I chose to do it is if I don't ever remember meeting them then I don't have to invite them, my parents would say things like they met you when you were a baby! Well if they couldn't pick me out of a line up then they aren't invited. It would be the same for FI's family but they only invited 20 people and we aren't expecting many of them to come.

We did end up going over the amount we wanted and my parents are still inviting people randomly who are not on the list. But compared to how it was, its much better.

BlueEyedBrideFL

Ugh, yeah, that does suck.  I have some people that I have been arguing with my mom about inviting and finally gave in because it wasn't worth it (all the family drama came out at the beginning of planning... hopefully that was it).

That said, I'm not letting her help - or see - my seating chart when it gets time.  I am going to surround myself with the people I really want there... and then everyone else can sit behind them.  Saves future grief, and we get more presents

twinkle82576

I think this is something most of us have had to deal with, and it really sucks. Just hang in there and remember that you and your FI should have final say on all things wedding related.