If this is all the drama...

TtotheG

... that I'm going to see, I'll take it!No, really. So my mom and I are in a huge dilemma: other peoples kids. I have four nieces and two nephews. On top of that I have seven second cousins ranging is age from 2.5 years - 16. Two of the second cousins, Julianna and Sophia (the 2.5 year olds) will be my flower girls. Hello, twins? How could I not. They are *the* cutest things. Ok, I digress.Anyway, my mom feels that only the twins and my nieces and nephews should be allowed to the wedding. The older kids, who really aren't "children" per se, willl not be invited. However, over the age of 12 is considered an adult at my venue.So, wth is the etiquette on this? Is it totally kosher to say, "leave you teenager at home"? It's not really the same as saying, "leave your four year at home, please."Hi, my name is Tess and I'm confused. Boo.

courtneybrooke921

Hmmm. This is tough. In the end, I decided to invite my nieces & nephew (obviously, lol) and my 1st cousin's babies. (There are 3 of them - and they aren't coming...wahoo! is that mean? lol) I think you are safe to just invite the people in your bridal party & avoid the teenagers. If they ask why, explain that other then the bridal party, it's a children free wedding (18 and under is normal for children) Hope I made some sense.... and I hope this is your only drama!!!

alexisrouse00

Personally I wouldn't invite them, because they would be taking the spot of an adult that I could've invited. Besides they probably won't cherish it as much as an adult that I couldn't invite because of them, would have. JMO

rclnd83

Man...that's a sticky situation. I can't help..I'm not having any kids at my wedding. I have no nieces or nephews yet. All my "baby cousins" are 19-21.Sorry I'm no help.

TtotheG

Alexis - we really don't have any other adults. We just were not sure of how to work it. My mom and I were sort of saying to ourselves, well... they are going to ask why the twins can go but they can't. Court - my nieces and nephews are there regardless. Those children are my life and it means the world to FI and I to have them there. My nephew Antonio recently asked Joe if he could carry the rings. Joe told him that Frankie, the best man, would carry the rings but that Ton can be the jr best man and he'll come up with a special job for him. Yes, I did go AWWWWWWWWWWWWW when I heard them talking about this. LOL.

alexisrouse00

Aww Tess that melts my heart! Well if you don't have any other adults to invite, then I say go for it. But will you actually be able to invite all of them?

TtotheG

Alexis - that's the thing... Lemme try and break it down: Matt age 14 Paul age 13 James age 7 Cameron age 16 Summer age age 15 Julianna age 3 Sophia age 3These are their ages by the wedding date. So according to my venue, that's four more adults. I guess I'll just sit down with my mom and take a look at our head count and see if we need anymore adults.My nieces/nephews will be 14, 13, 13, 12, 10, 7 by the time the wedding rolls around.Good lord, I'm reading over this and thinking: my family is fertile!!!

alexisrouse00

I'm not sure if I would want to invite any extra 3 or 7 year old kids. The only kids that will be at my wedding are my nieces and nephews, and thats because they are apart of the BP. I wouldn't invite the kids, not everybody's gonna be happy, but I think the teens can be an exception.

TtotheG

That's the thing, a majority of these kids are siblings and the twins (jules and soph) are my FGs. I'm pretty sure at the end of all this, it's either gonna be all of the 2nd cousins or non of the 2nd cousins (with the expection of the twins, which will start a family war).

Anagloria83

I don't discriminate against any child, teen, or young adult, meaning, they are welcome at my wedding.  But, if I were in your shoes, I'd  let the teens attend instead of the children.  If your reason for not wanting kids at your wedding is so that parents can enjoy themselves, well, that probably won't happen with the younger kids.  Or, you can look at it like this: if it's less price per head for each child, then leave the teens at home :-D

alexisrouse00

Sounds good to me, that way it's less stress.

TtotheG

Well, the original thought was to have a semi-child free wedding, but with the bridal party and my nieces and nephews, we're not exactly acheiving that.... which is fine. I don't want discriminate either, hence why I'm trying to figure out what is proper etiquette. I'm going to see if Fox Hollow will charge us less for the teens because they're not going to eat the adult food anyhow. Thanks aldies

tazdvl3

Tess, I see what you are saying, but if I would invite the teenagers. You can say no kids and have the BP go. They'll probably not end up bringing the teenagers. GL!

jennej24

If your venue includes the alcohol, you should definitely get a discount for the teens since they won't be drinking, I know at one venue I looked at it was $10, not that that is a lot but at least it is something.

goldie3474

we opted to invite 1st cousins (they range from 6-16 in age) mainly to avoid italian family drama.

TtotheG

alissa... im crying.... CRYING... over the italian drama. lol i can hear it now... in italian too "how dare you invite THEM and not ME!"so dramatic. lol

cinthia122

Where we are having our wedding they gave us one of their meeting rooms and we are going to hire license babysitters and order pizza for the kids and have games and a TV for them.  Maybe you can do that and avoid all the drama.  The teenagers should be able to come to the party and then the childern in the "playroom".

TheJennius

You know ... things like these make me appreciate the fact that my entire family lives in another country. Did I just sound mean? LOL. Well, I have 65 first cousins on my father's side. Imagine the rest. Yep. We breed like rabbits, Peruvians.My main FG and RB are not related to me (thank God - I mean uh ...), they are kids from Church that FI and I have grown fond of over time. If I'm having them at the wedding, so will their parents.FI and I both have little brothers (around 12-ish) and they're too old to be bridal party material, but they're (of course) invited.The only kids table will have around 7 kids (bridal party brats + little brothers), and they're not getting vendor meals. They're getting fun lunchboxes with little toys and colouring books.Teenagers are almost adults that wil appreciate a wedding more than a 7 year old (who will be bored after the 3rd hour unless you hire a babysitter).Every family is different, so I think that the first thing to do is test waters. Ask your mum and dad what they think! In my family, all hell would break loose if I were to invite little Timmy but leave pre-pubescent Abby out. In other families (the laid back ones), it's not such a huge deal, they hire a babysitter for the night.I rambled on and on, sorry! I hope it all works out

oyepooh

This is certainly a tough one.  We only invited children that were a part of the bridal party in one way or another (one of my cousins was the Altar Server) and their siblings.  I couldn't invite my FG and not her brother - that would've been rude IMO.  And ditto with my Altar Server.  It avoided a lot of drama.  If you can swing it, invite them and avoid the drama.

YHFoxtrot

I have NO words of wisdom because that's a tough one. Just hope it works out for you hon!

[Deleted User]

Tess I feel you I'm on the same boat =( What I'm doing is adding "Adult Reception to Follow" on the invite and the only kids I'm having there are obviously the ones walking and their sibling because I'm sure they wont have anyone to babysit them anyways. Other then that no because although the plates for children are discounted; its still a spot that can be given to an adult. Besides, Im sure the kids wouldnt want to be stuck wearing a little suit and tie and being there anyways

TtotheG

Thanks ladies!! My mom and I may just invite all the kids and deal with it. It's not like they won't be lacking for things to do. They have ALL their cousins, plus I'll put together some kid bags with fun stuff. We are also trying to find a DJ who will fun props for the kids - big glasses, those balloon guitar/sax things... etc.