Great friend wont make a great MOH or BM

Jessi312

I have a friend who I consider to be "one of my best friends" , but she would make an awful maid of honor/ bridesmaid. She is always late to places, very disorganized, and she's a single Mom of two with ALOT of much more important expenses. She is already on a tight budget and I wouldnt want to add to her stress. I love her, but I dont want her in my wedding. Should I tell her? Ignore it? Dont want to hurt her feelings! I think she wants to be in it, but I dont think she is considering the costs.

tazdvl3

I personally think that you shouldn't pick your MOH or BM based on if they're able to do the "job". It should be about who you want standing there next to you. If they're not the planning type or are very busy, there will always be someone there to help. My sisters were OT and so was my mom. I had to go with DH to a lot of meetings with no BM and I just made sure that for big ones (like the dress) I had someone with me. The costs is a legitimate concern. I would simply tell her it would bring great joy to have her in the wedding. Explain the costs and let her decide. GL!

courtneybrooke921

This is very tough - I have to agree that I would let her make the decision. You don't want to ruin a friendship over this. Explain you just want her at your wedding, but you realize how she has a lot on her plate and it can be expensive. In the end - she may choose to stand near you or just be there for you, but either way if she's your best friend, you can talk it through.Good luck - this is hard!!

goldie3474

Agree with Lissette... Let her decide if she is able to swing it financially.

avmn10

Wait--is your MOH also my MOH? Ha....but in all seriousness, I wouldn't have anyone else by my side when I get married. Heck, if I had to, I'd pay for her dress if money was that tight.  It just depends on how much of a good friend she is to you. 

TheJennius

I was in your same position a couple of weeks ago, and frankly, I don't mind that my MOH isn't "doing her job". I've been doing everything myself these couple of months of planning, and I like it just fine. I have been working on my sort-of-ruptured relationship with her, and improving, thank goodness, and I am also planning my wedding without the help of a MOH.I think it's wiser to save your friendship. I made the choice of keeping my friend as my MOH through anything (and hey, you don't know half of what's going on! lol) because even when she can't "fully perform", no one else really deserves that spot next to me at the altar.About the costs, I'm there with you, too! I made the silly mistake of sounding like I was going to pay for her dress, lol. Yes, she has a year to save for a dress, but hey, it's $60. And she's worth so much more than that! So I'm rolling with it. If you are able to help her in any way, do. If not, just have a talk with her and maybe you guys can work something out.Good luck!

Jessi312

Thanks for all the advise... we are gonna sit and talk voer Starbucks tomorrow!!

[Deleted User]

GL on the talk! Keep us posted on how it goes