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Kind of hurt about my friend

I'm her MOH (November wedding); I'm the only one out of state (New York). I went through all of this trouble to plan a  bridal shower and bach for her. I was about to buy my ticket and put down a deposit for food.Now I tell her the date. I can only do it the Thursday night before her wedding. She's reacting negatively and saying she'll have so much to do, etc. I told her to please spare that Thurs night - we're going to have a great time for her. We are helping her set up EVERYTHING the next day (10 of us). Now she says it won't work. I planned my flight and everything. I can't do it on any other Sat. between now and then b/c I can't miss another Sat. class. Kind of hurt.Weddings suck. : (  Why did she choose me all the way in NY for her MOH?  She needs to remember what's really important

Re: Kind of hurt about my friend

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    edited December 2011
    Ugh that's a tough one. On the one hand, I can see why she'd be nervous to be partying right before the wedding but if you already set that up and discussed it, then that stinks b/c you went through all this trouble to plan around that date and now she's decided that's no good for her.What about coming during another week when you are down for wedding stuff yourself? Then you don't have to miss class b/c it could still be on a Thursday or something but not the one just before her wedding? Just a thought?
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    edited December 2011
    Hurts :(No, I'm not coming at all. The only reason I'm even coming is for her wedding (Nov. 20th). I have all of my classes on Saturday and I can't miss another Saturday - already missing her wedding day's worth.I tried all I could and I can't squeeze in another saturday before her wedding. I've been at this for weeks. Struggling, planning back and forth. She only has 3 BM (one of which is her 16yr old sis, who has no job) - the other BM has shown no interest in helping me out. So you can imagine... after all of this being on my plate and I worked something out, she burst my bubble. This is/was for her. I guess she doesn't understand that.
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    edited December 2011
    Maybe you can talk to her about it some more and get her to reconsider. Explain that it doesn't have to be a crazy wild late night but that you still want to do SOMETHING. Ugh that sucks. I'm sorry hun.
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks. I do what I can. Wanted to make it special. I'm too angry - her sister-in-law is going to try to talk to her for me tonight and see what she says.Gosh man. Weddings really take you away from reality and what's important.
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    photonbugphotonbug member
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    edited December 2011
    That sucks but what if you just do the shower?  Would that still be too much to handle?  I can see not wanting to do the bach so close to the wedding but maybe you can at least to the shower.  
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    edited December 2011
    I guess... maybe when I calm down, we can mention it. I just feel like, if I'm going through all of this trouble and I'm making you do it, why even bother with having anything at all for her.   : (
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    edited December 2011
    I think it would be good to talk to her..we did that for my sisters bridal shower since she had 8 bridesmaids and they were all useless and didnt want to travel for a shower. We had people at her house to eat and hang out then the people that wanted to go out...did. Those who didnt went back to their hotels. It was so relaxing and everyone had a good time.
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    edited December 2011
    I guess that's a good idea too. I just feel like since I'm in NY and haven't been able to help her with all of the little details, I wanted to do it real big and special for her. She loves hanging out with us and you see her face light up when she has all of us around.So I planned something very special and I just feel like it's crushed. If we have to do some kind of a low key regular dinner, it's not going to be the same. Additionally, she probably wants me to make the extra trip the month before. I just can't. I have Saturday classes that I cannot miss. It seems like this is what she is trying to suggest (that I make an extra trip)
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    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry!!! I know it must be frustrating that you've put all this time and effort into planning something from so far away only to get shot down. I hope you two figure something out....I'm sorry I don't have better advice!
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    edited December 2011
    I hope you can work something out :(
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    edited December 2011
    I know what you mean about traveling I was living in NJ and trying to help my sister in Mia....People dont think about how much traveling costs!! It sucks!
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    edited December 2011
    sorry to hear your so upset. hopefully you guys can find something that works :) She probably is stressed out about the wedding and maybe with so more thought she'll change her mind.
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    edited December 2011
    Aw girl, you see why some people plan their own stuff? I would HATE to put my MOH in that spot. Everyone has stuff going on, schedules, bills, etc. Being a MOH should be about having your bestest friend by your side the day of and not about her catering to your every need. So don't stress it, you have important things going on that you can't change and you're going to be there for her big day... Things will all work out!
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