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you've GOT to be kidding me! LONG

Sorry this is gonna be a novel. Let me give you some history first...We booked our officiant a year before my wedding date.  Have a contract, gave him 1/2 the money. We booked him b/c I'm catholic and wanted a catholic priest but the church does not allow off-premises marriages. Well, bishop alex was a former catholic priest who still had ties to rome, was a monk and could perform a catholic-based ceremony for us (and making sure my old italian catholic nana didnt freak the eff out about us not being married at church). A few weeks ago I asked him a benign question and he responded back via email suppperrrrr snarky. FI and Jaime agreed that it was a little crappy but whatever, I brushed it off. About 20 mins ago, I get a call from him saying "what time does your ceremony begin?""5""I ask b/c I have 2 weddings booked on the same day at the same time, one of them being yours.""oh" (but I'm REALLY THINKING wtf! I booked you 8 months ago!!!!) Now he wants this other guy (with no ties to rome or catholic priesthood experience and who we never met) to perform our ceremony. I tell him that we booked HIM b/c we felt comfortable with him and that we want to meet this new guy before agreeing. Between the crappy email a few weeks ago and now this, I dont know that I even want him to marry us. He has $200 of our money and now with 4 months left, I doubt we can find someone who fits the bill for our wedding which ohbytheway is in peak effing season. Thank mister for killing my bridal shower weekend buzz!Grrrrrrrrr! ok, vent over!
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Re: you've GOT to be kidding me! LONG

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    edited December 2011
    oh.my.lord. are you kidding me?? This is beyond unprofessional and just plain WRONG!!I am so sorry.I hope you figure this out - if you decide to switch, make sure you get your money back!!I love you!!!!
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    JillianLLJillianLL member
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    edited December 2011
    Are you kidding me?? He doesnt sound very priest-ly!! I would explain to him that you put your deposit down with him 8 months prior and according to your contract HE must be the one to do the ceremony! I'm so sorry hun, thats so crappy of him! Any way to get Mobzilla on his a$$?
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    edited December 2011
    AS*HOLE!!!!!!!! Alissa, you know how much i ADORRRREEEE my guy. Do you want his info??
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    edited December 2011
    OMG Alissa... I can't believe this jerk is doing this to you now. Honestly, I hated that email he sent you and I thought it was unnecessarily rude and snarky so maybe this is a sign.Sure you have only 4 months but I have to believe there is someone else out there who will be kind and honest and who fits the bill and can marry you. Honestly, this guy should DEFINITELY give you your deposit back since he double booked. If a man of "faith" tries to keep your money after HE screwed up, well, that says a lot about his "faith" and I would let him keep the damn money and still cut my loses.You know I don't know the first thing about Catholic Priests to make recommendations but I say you start contacting people STAT and when you finally find someone else, you demand your money back.I know MOB won't stand for thsi shiz anyways!HUGS to you lovey!
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    FutureMrsFezzFutureMrsFezz member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    wow, how shittty is that. sorry girl!i'm sure someone has a good recdon't let him ruin your weekend!!
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    citytoshore09citytoshore09 member
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    edited December 2011
    that is ridiculous! you contracted with HIM, not some random he wants to substitute in! if he doesn't show, i'd definitely ask for my money back. we had a catholic priest at our wedding and he was amazing. let me know if you need his info.
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    edited December 2011
    FI and I talked about it and even if we push the issue that he performs, we are kinda turned off now and feel ehhhhh about him marrying us you know? Amy, I actually mentioned your priest to serban after this all went down this morning and he liked what he did for you guys.
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    edited December 2011
    You know how much i love him. he sends me an e mail once a week to check in, got baby jordyn a gift, typed up our ENTIRE ceremony in a binder ( which you saw ), i mean you name it..he has done it and i just love him to pieces. Just give me the word and his number is yours :)
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    edited December 2011
    Danielle - yes please! (this wasnt the guy that messed up your names was it?!?!) lol! I dont wanna go from the pan to the fryer lmao!
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    edited December 2011
    ps - I dont want to totally discredit him ... he did say that if we didnt feel comfortable with his guy that he would have him do the other wedding and he would do ours but we just feel really crappy about it - like we are getting the brush off when we booked him 8 months ago. We should be priority.
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    edited December 2011
    omg. what a jerk!! sorry  this happened to you :( if you guys have a contract and you've put a deposit down, isn't he obligated to abide by it?!I hope you don't let it get you down. you're going to have a great shower and bachlorette party and you won't even be thinking about him or his rudeness :)
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    JillianLLJillianLL member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Amy's guy sounds amazing....I think it was the Rabbi who screwed up the names at Danielle's lol
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    MDA1081MDA1081 member
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    edited December 2011
    WOW! I'm so sorry you are going through this. I think at that point I would have cancelled the whole thing and tried to figure out another officiant. But that's me, I get crazy like that, lol. And after the first snarky email, he's leaving a bad taste already. Maybe his replacement is better/nicer? Even without the ties to the catholic church, at least he may come without the attitude. Good Luck!
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    citytoshore09citytoshore09 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    alissa - the priest was AMAZING, it was our rabbi who had no idea who we were. we booked the rabbi 9 months before the wedding, the priest 3 weeks. explain that to me. :)
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    Lacey36Lacey36 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    aww Alissa, so sorry to hear about this, very crappy! I def. agree with pp's. That's really unprofessional of him. Don't let this ruin your shower weekend, things will work out. =) and you will have so much fun!!
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    edited December 2011
    Alissa, This really seriously sucks, and no offense but your pastor sounds like a douche. I went through something similar because I also had the issue with wanting a catholic priest but not being able to have one because we also married out of the church. I really really really hate to rain on your parade, but after lots of reading investigation and talking to other priests I was told that a "real" catholic priest would under no circumstances marry you outside the church. Phonies might give you the whole "I was a former priest and still have ties to Rome" line but it will not be true and per the catholic church you will not be "married". I was also told a lot of scam artist priests feed brides this line. Google it. A lot of stuff comes up. Google esp.. "Father Frank".  Hope that's not who your using because he's the biggest scam artist ever.Good luck love.
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    RhiannonBRhiannonB member
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    edited December 2011
    Wow, I'm so sorry this is happening but like everyone else said, maybe it's a sign.  Don't let his screw up ruin your weekend; keep smiling! :-)
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    zobo410zobo410 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah... at this point I wouldn't want this guy doing my wedding. Snarky emails... 4 months before he suddenly can't do it? Uhhhh no. Get the number for Amy's priest or Danielle's. Obviously, this is a sign. Don't let this take away your buzz!
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    edited December 2011
    LorenaNo not father frank whew!!!!!! We wanted a Catholic based ceremony and he was able to perform it since he was a former catholic priest. I know it wont be offically recognized by the chuch so we have to do a dispensation ceremony after the honeymoon to have the church recognize it (our regular priest is awesome, he was totally flexible with it). Thanks for the tips, I am just soooo frustrated right now.
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    EliNickEliNick member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow Alissa, I'm so sorry this is happening! Shame on him for "double booking" your wedding.  Is this how he treats ALL his parishoners?  He is not a Justice of the Peace where he can just put you off on someone else if he isn't available.  You booked him for a reason.  What makes him think you would be comfortable with another person who doesn't have Catholic priesthood ties?  Ugh.
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    edited December 2011
    Alissa, I'm sorry this happened. For him, this is also a business and you are a client. He doesn't sound like much of a priest. You need to fire him immediately, GET YOUR MONEY BACK due to breach of contract, write him a letter showing how unprofessional he has acted and showing how upset you are due to his canceling. He should NOT book more than one wedding. And if he did, that is his problem to deal with, not yours. Write him that letter, get your money back, be done firing him. You do not want him to marry you and "casually" not show up to your wedding or cancel on you the week prior. Please just hire Amy's priest. You see how much she raves. I say go with Amy's
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    edited December 2011
    Alissa - I think you should demand your money back. That's mega BS. Heck, I'll go pull the Italian guilt on him and throw pastina in his face.
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    cinthia122cinthia122 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    NO WAY!!!!  I know at the G2G we were talking about the whole Catholic thing.  We have to keep granny happy or else.  I have a number of someone that performs Catholic weddings off site at home.  As soon as I get home I'll email you his info.  No worries everything will work out.  You deserve your deposit back.  That is so wrong!!!!
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    edited December 2011
    Oh wow Alissa! That's crazy...I can't believe that he is doing this to you. Explore your other options. Maybe this is just a sign that he wasn't meant to perform your ceremony. I'm so sorry!
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    Steph&ByronSteph&Byron member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    OMG. What a horrible horrible man. I'm sure there will be a lot of recs from the girls on this board. Don't worry,it will work out. :)
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