Advice...not sure what to do

Lacey36

We got engaged December 06, and had our engagement party July 07, and now our wedding is July 2010. Now I invited some people to our engagement party (really a last min invite, or my mom ran into them and told them about it.) But anyways they came to our e-party, cant remember if we received anything from them maybe a card, but that's besides the point. I am trying to go through the guest list for the wedding and I came across these people and thought do I really need them at the wedding? We dont really talk to them much anymore, like once in a blue moon maybe, we dont hang out anymore. FI doesnt think they need to be there but I said well they came to our engagement party its only proper to invite them to the wedding, but now I am really considering if I NEED to have them there or invite them? Should I? Do I need to since they came to the e-party? Thoughts? sorry its long but I wanted to get some opinions. Thanks!

**Octoberbride09**

Generally once you invite someone to the engagement party you get stuck with them at the wedding too. but again I said "generally" after all it's your wedding and whatever you want to say/do goes.

DALFSU06

Yikes what a long engagement!!!!   Proper etiquette you should invite them to your wedding, same goes for your bridal shower.

Lacey36

Thanks Lorena!Daniela, so I invite them to the bridal shower too? or anyone who goes to the bridal shower is invited to the wedding too?

bluebook

They don't need to be invited to the shower, but anyone you invite to the shower should be invited to the wedding. That being said, with such a long engagement, and with having lost touch with some of these people, I don't think they would think it's weird if they don't get an invite. It sounds like you're not even friends anymore. However, do know that not inviting them is a sure way never to be friends with them anymore.

sharonephone

I am SOOO waiting for this to happen when we get ready to send out the invites and finalize the guest list! We got engaged in May 09, had an engagement party in July, but probably won't get married until Nov-Mar 2010-2011. I warned my FI that we should only invite those individuals to the E party that we thought would DEFINITELY be on the guest list for the wedding, and lo and behold, he invited some that he may not be close with in a year. We have a lot of his work friends from when we were in DC that he is starting not to keep in touch with and got the invite for the engagement party, but I'm wondering if they will be priority for the wedding in a year/year and a half. Long story short, I'm going to leave it up to him. Truth is, if they are starting to leave your picture/life, it may not be an issue. Ettiquette wise, it's a no, but ..... Do what you need to do.

Lacey36

Bluebook-Thanks, we were never good friends with them but just like friends b/c we all worked together and hung out, but when FI and I moved to Orlando in 04, we all lost contact but when we went home for whatever reason and we saw them we would talk, but not call and make plans to hang out or anything. But like for the e-party they didnt get an invite it was word of mouth invite instead. So I guess I will just play it out, I mean I wouldnt put it as we wouldnt be friends anymore but IDK, I guess i can make them on the B list if anything. Sharonephone - thanks I guess I will just play it out and see what happens. GL to you as well.

ups783

Actually, it's the opposite. If they are invited to the shower, then yes they should be invited to the wedding, but not the engagement party. The engagement party is just that: to celebrate your engagement, and for the most part unrelated to wedding festivities...especially since you're having a long engagement period.

mikeschickie

IMH-don't spend the money on people who you barely speak to. If your Mother really wants you to invite them, maybe she could foot the bill a bit for them. When my best friend got married she was dealt with the making the same decision as you and did end up inviting these people to her wedding. After her wedding when it came time to talk about it she was like "i should have never invited them- we spoke once at the wedding to say hello, they barely stayed around/left early and those that did just sat at their tables and didn't talk to anyone." Granted, that might not happen at your wedding, but chances are its what happens in situations like these.