no kids at wedding problem

jnj111410

so i get a phone call today from my fmil and she goes ahead and tells  me that fi grandmother just gave her an updated list with kids but his family has no idea who they are. and that includes fi's 6 year old 1st cousin. we said when we got engaged that we were going to have an adult only wedding, kids are allowed at the ceremony, but his aunt still thinks that her child is invited and with thanksgiving coming up and we will all be together, i have a feeling its all going to come out and world war III is gonna take place. how do we handle this situtation. or how do we go about this issue... i would love any suggestions.

bluebook

I ended up giving in on the kids issue. We'll be allowing kids, even though we are doing a 6:30pm ceremony, 8pm dinner, "black tie optional reception." We're hoping people won't bring them but won't be surprised if they do. The lateness of the hour and the "black tie" thing are all trying to give people a clue not to bring their kids.But if I get this straight, your own FMIL doesn't know who the kids on HER side are? That's weird. You and FI should discuss. If you're really having no kids and someone brings it up, you say it straight, that you think everyone will have more fun if they treat it as a "night out" etc. and you hope they understand. And you say you can't break the rules for one person because then everyone will know and it'd be weird.GL!

twinkle82576

I've been spreading the word... word of mouth, that no kids will be allowed. It's also posted on our wedding website. So I'm hoping that by the time this comes up, it's not an issue.

vanered15

i have that issue as well i only have 3 kids in the wedding cause those are the ones that are walking in the wedding cause u waist a plate of adult food and then dont eat it so what i'm going to do is that i'm gonna get them the kids menu for them.

dboniche

v\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} o\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} w\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} .shape {behavior:url(#default#VML);} Normal 0 MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman";} I took this from a website - hope this helps you with this situation.Your wedding day is YOUR day and the bottom line is that you have a right to be happy and have it your way on this one day out of your entire life. If, after carefully considering this, you decide that this is the way it is going to be, you should follow the following rules for this delicate situation: ·         Indicate that the reception is to be adults only by having the words "Adults Only Reception" or "Adult Reception" printed on your invitation If you are excluding some children, the rule is that you must exclude all children. There must not be different rules for different people or some individuals will be deeply offended and hurt - and rightly so.   And what if someone does show up with their children, despite it all? Do you say something to them? Do you send someone over to ream them out? Don't even dream it. What good would that possibly do? Done is done. No sense in creating an unpleasant, uncomfortable situation. Nothing could be more unbecoming of a bride, groom, or host. Best advice? Take a deep breath, then let it go. Put it out of your mind and get on with having a good time. This day is going to fly by faster than you'll ever want as it is; don't waste a single moment of it caught up in negativity. Think happy thoughts on this day...happy thoughts only. Remember, this is the best day of your life! Enjoy it for heaven's sake!

Bebekah

I wouldn't bring it up at Thanksgiving dinner. You did your part. I wouldn't even count the kid on the list. Did you already send out invites and they added the child themselves? If you haven't sent it out yet, I wouldn't worry now. The only children at my ceremony are the 4 participating and about 6 nephews/little cousins. They are having a seperate, fun-filled party during the Adults Only reception.

Jessica813

We are not having children at our wedding, only the flower girl and ring boy. We put "Adult Reception" on our reception card, but some people still ask. Most people understand when you tell them its an adults only reception, but some still continue on and on. The best thing to do is just explain to them that would prefer to not have children at the wedding. Perhaps you can talk to your FMIL and have her talk to your FI's aunt? Maybe that could help ease tension between you and his aunt?

JillianLL

We have recently been having a problem with FI's uncle who thinks its ridiculous that his grandkids arent invited to the wedding. I dont want kids at the wedding plain and simple. Its a Saturday night black tie affair, its really no place for children. So we offered to hire a babysitter and put the kids in a room during the wedding. The parents were more than ok with it, but the grandfather is still being a d*ck. Its your day, if you dont want kids there just make your case clear and tell them you dont think its appropriate...sorry!