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RSVP...rude or not?

okay okay need to kinda vent....I sent out invites and one of FI family members told me that they moved and didn't get my invite but that she will rsvp thru her moms rsvp card. Which I said okay...I sent one to her just 1 rsvp.

My friends that are single I didn't include friend + guest because my grandparents are helping with the cost for the bridal.

Well today I opened her moms RSVP and she included her daughter plus guest!! uuuuhhhh hello when we chatted on fb she said it was only her.

How can people cross out the number of guests I put on the invite and write there own number.

Well at this point we can't do anything. Have you guys had this problems or know someone that has.

What would you do in this situation?

I know it's nothing to get worked up about don't get how can people do this.


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Re: RSVP...rude or not?

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    edited December 2011
    how old is her daughter? are you having kids? if you're not having any kids (i'm doing probably no one under 18) then you can tell her that you're very sorry, but there aren't any accommodations for kids. 

    you can also just say "sorry, we didn't plan for any extra people, there's only going to be a plate for you" .... maybe have your mom call. a lot of people do that. 

    sorry this happened!! GL !
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    atizonatizon member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    nope she's an adult in her 20's. I wrote on my invite as well Adult reception...
    don't know how this is going to plan out. uugghhh!!

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    edited December 2011
    people are so rude, I have been so amazed at people through this process!
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    zobo410zobo410 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would explain that you can not have her daughter and her b/f there. The End. Your wedding, your day, your rules!
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    twinkle82576twinkle82576 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I agree with PP. Just tell them sorry, but no.

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    bluebookbluebook member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Definitely tell them!! That's just ridiculous. Be nice, but firm.
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    edited December 2011
    Agree with Andra 100% . And i personally went through this with like 10 people. You need to say NO. BECAUSE , if you say yes to her, you will say yes tot he other 10 idiots that do this ( and trust me, its gonna happen )
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    avmn10avmn10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I definitely don't think it's too late...if you're not comfortable calling the person, have your FI's family member do it.  Or email her, stick to your guns!!! And like someone else said, if you do it for them, you'll have to do it for others.
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    edited December 2011
    Totally agree with Andra. Just nicely say you did not plan for the extra plates. That's it. The end. People have balls and it never ceases to amaze me. 
    DX stage 4 endo 4/2005 Lap #2 7/2007 Lap #3 8/2009 uterus, tubes & cul-de-sec fused. partial bowel resection. LUPRON :( Surprise BFP 4/2010 Layla Grace 11/17/2010 Surprise BFP 12/2011 - stick baby stick! THE BLOG Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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    JillianLLJillianLL member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Totally agree with PP. Just call her up and say listen I wish we could, but unfortunately we didnt invite singles with guests. Sorry sista!
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    atizonatizon member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I told FMIL to call them and she said she knew they were going to do that bcuz they mentioned it to her but she stayed quiet. Then I told her well tell them sorry. Of course I knew what she was going to say already. I'll pay for there plate!!

    I definatly aint going to let anyone else get away with it. the nerve of people. If it was my from my side of the family I definatly would have said sonething in a heart beat.

    thanks for letting me vent. Hopefully this does not happen to me again.

    Wow Amy 10 people..unbelieveable!

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    rosel80rosel80 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with PP.  Let her know.  I also worried about this..
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    edited December 2011

    wow...this always amazes me. 

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    michy22michy22 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am so scared of this ESPECIALLY from FI's side...My side is more educated in these types of things but his side thinks our wedding is a carnival or something...
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    jennej24jennej24 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sorry you are going through this people can be so rude!
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    edited December 2011
    Sorry thats happening. I wouldve called her myself! GL with it!
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    StacsuStacsu member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry you're going through this, and I feel your pain with the RSVPs -- you're not alone. It's shocking how people can have no clue, even friends that you'd expect to know better! My parents are helping my FI and I with the cost of the wedding, since the stupid company I worked at for almost 4 years laid me off after I got engaged.

    So the RSVPs have been going to my parents (in south Florida, where the wedding is being held, and where I grew up, but I currently live in CA) and my mom recently called me up to say that some of my single friends have sent back their replies with +1s added on! WTH!!!? My friends KNOW I have no job now and that we're keeping this wedding very small - just close family and friends, (around 50-ish people total). If a friend is married, engaged, or in a LTR, we invited them with their spouse or significant other, by name. However, a lot of my friends are single, and they were NOT all invited with +1s. We really didn't want a bunch of random people there that we'd never met before just for the sake of them being able to bring a date. A lot of these friends know each other from high school too, so it's not like I'm trying to isolate anyone. I've had to personally talk to each one of these people and ask them to please attend solo, since the wedding is small and on a tight budget. I'm hoping they'll be understanding. That is all that you can do in this situation. If they choose not to come because of it, they're probably not the good friend I had thought they were. :(  So far I haven't had this issue with relatives adding guests, since our families are small, but I imagine that could be even more difficult, since relatives can feel a false sense of entitlement to things like that. =/
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