So upset and sad :(

herculeschloe

I am so disappointed and hurt by how my MOH is acting. She has done NOTHING and my wedding is in 40 days. She has helped me with DIY projects only once and is one of those people that will offer, then come up with an excuse to not be able to help. She had no intentions of throwing me a bridal shower because she said she couldn't afford it (and just didn't say anything until my mom asked her...my mother ended up throwing the entire thing and paying for it, but my MOH never even contacted her to help or anything) but now I am hearing she is volunteering to throw a big baby shower for one of our friends who is pregnant. WTF?! And 2 of my BM's have asked her what is going on with my bachelorette party and she just hasn't responded to them. FI assures me she is planning something, but I have a feeling it will involve sitting at her house with her infant. I love my niece but sorry, don't love the idea of having a bachelorette party with her around!
I am totally able to call people out on stuff if I don't know them well personally, but I turn to jelly when I need to do it with people I know. I just don't want to cause waves and drama that isn't necessary (and believe me, this will cause drama if I bring it up with her. And she is my future sister in law so that makes it even worse). I'm not even mad anymore, just really hurt that my wedding means so little to her. FI just doesn't get it and thinks I should either call her out or not think about it but it just isn't that easy. I am NOT enjoying this wedding planning anymore and feel like I am always there to help others but just get a slap in the face when I expect something in return. Sorry, needed to vent. Its going to be a long day.

RemyAlexandra

I'm sorry!   I'll send some vibes and prayers your way!

waterroxy17

Sorry this is happening so close to your wedding! Hopefully things will get better!

cmp1986

Sorry to hear this. Some people just have issues. I understand how you feel, when your FI tells you to deal with it or be quite. When I get stressed I try and vent to my FI and he tells me to just let it go. I'm like I can't just let it go, I really wish I could. Men just don't understand it, so us knotties are here for ya. Big hug!!!!

EvelynandManny

Im sorry to hear about this ... I would suggest talking to her...you dont have to be mean or make it a drama fest just talk to her maybe she doesnt know how you feel and its important...after all she is the MOH!

herculeschloe

Thanks girls   I feel better just having vented and knowing I'm not crazy, that others actually understand! I know I need to talk to her but I think I need to wait for a cool down period. I know she is going to take it personally so I want to present it in as easy a way as possible. Ugh, this wedding stuff is too much work and stress!

HeatherL212

Sorry Hope she steps it up!

twinkle82576

I'm sorry you're going through this so close to the big day. It seems we've all had MOH and/or BM problems at some point. The best thing to do is talk to her, even if you feel it will cause drama.

Moonstar713

It really sucks how inconsiderate people can be. I know what you mean about if you say something its going to cause drama. I'm no stranger to drama, but I usually don't like to say anything to people because then people change because YOU wanted them to change. So in my head its like yea I made my point, she agrees with me and is now going to do something but because I said so, not because it came from the heart.

Same thing happened with my BM's. I didn't point out an MOH because honestly I knew none of them would play the part, my cousin included! My cousin has come over a couple times to help with DIY, my other friend too, but both are always distracted when they come, so I feel like they are just moving through the motions. I totally got up set 3 months before the wedding because they hadn't done anything to get the dresses. My friend agreed with me and said she's try to be there for me more. She started planning my BS and yea I'm happy I'm getting one, but I feel like it was only done because I said something about them not being there for me. And even as she plans, I feel like its more of a chore to her. I really hope I can enjoy it because at this point I'm like blah about it. It's like why do I have to say something for you to do it. Why couldn't it come from the heart?!?!? THEN.... I wonder if I didn't say anything, I wouldn't have gotten anything and I will probably hold it against them forever!!! lol... there is no winning here

I would tell her that your hurt by her actions, and ask for maybe a reason as to why she's being like this. I have a broke friend too, so I understand, but now she has enough money to throw a baby shower? That'r not right! She probably didn't have a wedding huh?

herculeschloe

Ok, this is the craziest part- she had a wedding and her MOH was demoted because she never did anything to help and she felt like she wasn't supported at all! And to top it off, I wasn't in her wedding (we were just starting to get close during her wedding planning) and I basically filled in for all the stuff her MOH didn't do for her! So this is a true slap in the face- she knows what she is doing and how important an involved MOH is and this is how she acts! UNbelievable!!!!

Moonstar713

WOW! That makes it worse!!! I would talk to her and tell her how you feel because you're going to be carrying this the day of your wedding and that's not good. I dk people change when they have babies. Don't get me wrong, I love kids if I had money I would have had some already lol. But what I mean is, they forget what it's like before baby days when other things were important. Now if its not baby related then it doesn't matter and that shouldn't be like that it should be a balance. Like what I'm trying to say is... have you ever seen that SATC episode where Carrie attends a baby shower and her shoes get stolen? She got into a discussion about it.

Long story short, talk to her, if it makes things awkward then so be it I think it is better than to hold a grudge against her and blow up on her one day and completely ruin the friendship