What would we vent about if it weren't for FMILs and BMs? (vent)

anaroo87

YOU ARE AAAANNNOOOYYYYIIIINNNNGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats kinda what I want to yell at FMIL

FSIL tells me today that FMIL went to Davids Bridal to find out how soon in advance she has to order dresses.... why? because FSIL has 4 girls (age 13,10,4,2) that FMIL is planning on buying matching dresses for. Some people may find this cute ,,, I find it annoying. REALLY annoying. Little kids may be cute dressed alike, but a 13 year old looks slightly ridiculous dressed like her baby sisters. FMIL is trying to find any way possible to make those kids a part of my wedding. Don't get me wrong, I love my (future) neices, but FMIL makes them the center of attention at every gathering and she spends every penny she makes spoiling those kids. I was originally planning to have the two older girls be Junior Bridesmaids but eventually decided I wanted this ONE thing to be about FI and I ... not about FMILs grandkids because she would certainly make a spectacle of it. She tried forcing us to at least have them as ushers (I said no, but I'm sure she'll just urge them to act the part the day of anyways.)

So now, she's going to put the 4 of them in matching dresses and in all the family pics, they are literally going to look like my little bridesmaids. I'm not having bridesmaids; I don't like matching dresses; I don't want this wedding to be about those kids instead of it being about FI and I..... and right now, I don't care if that sounds selfish    aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

And of course, I casually mention this to FI because I am annoyed but I didn't want him to say anything to his mom because I don't like confrontations and I don't want to be the crazy bridezilla... he gets into a whole thing about "if this bothers you, you need to talk to my mom and tell her that she can't do that.. blah blah blah... it's ridiculous that you're annoyed but don't want to say anything..."

I'm glad he sees my point and supports me... but I kind of just wanted him to sympathize with me .... not blame me for not confronting her... blah

Thanks for letting me vent... I actully do feel a little better  

smuslin

OMG I am so sorry. My FMIL is trying to take over my wedding also. It is driving me nuts. Even her dress looks like a black wedding dress.

rxjen

OMG!!!! Anna! You need to tell her no or everytime you see the pictures, you will be reminded of how she got away with that crap. You are NOT Selfish, SHE IS SELFISH!!!

anaroo87

omg Samantha.. a black wedding dress?! I'd want to kill her... I'm sorry

Jen - the pics are the main reason why I DO want to say something .. because then I will always be reminded of her annoyingness (I'm sure thats not a real word lol)

But I really hate being confrontational with her .. I kind of want to take the two older girls shopping for dresses and pretend I didn't know about her Davids Bridal escapade lol

waterroxy17

Wow! I dont know how you do it!!! My FMIL and mother are total opposites. Sometimes thats good sometimes thats bad. Can't FI step in and tell his mother that you both don't want matching little nieces. While it may be cute to them, its not to your FI and you. I don't understand what people think? I once saw women dressing in the same outfits and colors as the BRIDEMAIDS.

mlbalais

People are crazy!!!!!!!!!! Ugh!

smuslin

Yeah she slips up all the time and says my wedding. I have told her a few times it isn't your wedding it is our wedding and it is about your son and I. My FI is good about talking to her about it. Except she will only wear her hair down and we are getting married on the beach. I told her hair is going to ruin her pictures. Plus she photographs horribly so I had to tell my photographer to take a lot of photos. I told her as soon as her hair starts whipping it is going up.

Natalie97

AHHHH!!! This was too painful to read, it brought me back to my year of planning! AHHHHH!! lol

My MIL add 2 FG the day BEFORE my wedding. LMAO. I can laugh now but I certainly wasn't laughing then. Two of our FG couldn't make it and she added two random little girls to our bridal party. One of the girls wasn't even invited to the wedding - ask me what their names are now? I don't know! lol

She bought their dresses after sending me a pic and asking me which one I liked, I liked another one better and then she called me and said "I bought it, what sizes is theFG from ur side of the family? I bought her a size __". It was too big for my girl! That was just a little of the fun she had with choosing things for the wedding, we had a big bad blowout the weekend before the wedding and I hope it stays calm for you. My DH made the mistake of telling her when I was upset so she said I didn't like anything she choose and was lying to her. lol I can laugh about it now because immediately after the wedding, everything was back to normal and I have a wonderful MIL.

GL! I hope it goes smoothly for you and I love what you said about if it wasn't for BM and FMIL, what would there be to vent about?!

cmp1986

She's crazy!!! I would flip out if my FMIL wanted to do that. You should mention something to her. Or if your FSIL is on your side have her talk with your FMIL. Also if I were the 13 year old, I would be pissed that my grandma wants me to wear the same thing as a 2 year old, OMG!!!!

anaroo87

omg Natalie, thats crazy!!!!!!! who just adds random flower girls??!?!?! Glad you can laugh about it now though, it is kind of funny actually that you don't even know their names

I actually woke up this morning and realized that it's such a stupid little thing.. out of all the crazy obnoxious FMIL things she could do, this is not that bad. I figure if it does really start to bug me, I'll find a way to mention it but otherwise why stress over this when I have a million other things to do. I do however feel bad for the oldest girl who is 13 and really will look ridiculous dressed like the little girls. I'm sure she would rather find something cute and more "grown-up" looking, but again.... I have so many other things to worry about if she doesn't say anything and her mom doesnt say anything.. then why should I care. moving on.....    

dewreb

Anna, usually I think that many knotties' complaints about bridesmaids/FMILs are RIDICULOUS, but in this case, I think you have very good reason to complain and be upset! I understand not wanting to confront her about it...I can only imagine that someone crazy enough to scheme up something like this would also be a little bit scary to confront! If you choose to go along with the matching girls, you could always make sure your photographer understands that you don't care for a bunch of pictures of them.

I seriously can't believe that she did this. I would freak if my FMIL did this!

anaroo87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-south-florida_would-vent-werent-fmils-bms-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:67Discussion:49045443-7935-41a9-b604-e66d64718bedPost:590c9501-770b-4915-b2a0-7453aa02aaa2">Re: What would we vent about if it weren't for FMILs and BMs? (vent)</a>:
[QUOTE]Anna, usually I think that many knotties' complaints about bridesmaids/FMILs are RIDICULOUS, but in this case, I think you have very good reason to complain and be upset! I understand not wanting to confront her about it...I can only imagine that someone crazy enough to scheme up something like this would also be a little bit scary to confront! If you choose to go along with the matching girls, you could always make sure your photographer understands that you don't care for a bunch of pictures of them. I seriously can't believe that she did this. I would freak if my FMIL did this!
Posted by dewreb[/QUOTE]


I already had this in mind :) .. figure I'll let him know that as much as FMIL will push, to please make an effort to not include the kids in EVERY pic like I am sure she will try to do :) lol