Florida-South Florida
Options

I know you will think this is tacky but... (mini vent)

I hate registries.  I have plates, spoons, toasters, etc.  I don't have use for a gravy boat.  However, cash would be very useful!

They say asking for cash is tacky... however, I think its just an old tradition that needs to be broken.  A lot of couples now a days live together before the big day, thus, already having what they need.

I don't see why its ok that I make a registry which gives you a list of what I'd like, but to say I want cash is so wrong.  Lets put it this way, I'd be happier recieving $10 in cash, than a $30 gift card, or worse, getting some present thats valued at $100 that I won't have use for.

I'm trying to find a nice way of asking for cash.  Obviously, I wouldn't put this on the invite, but I'm thinking under the registry section of my website I can put something like "you really don't have to give us a gift, you coming is gift enough, but if you really feel the need, cash is always welcome."

I know they have cash registries, but those usually take a percentage out of what you get.

Knotties, what are your thoughts on this?  Isn't creating a registry basically like making a wish list?  So why is it wrong to wish for cold hard cash?  While there may be no appropriate way to ask for it, what have you seen is a good way?

Re: I know you will think this is tacky but... (mini vent)

  • Options
    MariMac84MariMac84 member
    Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I completely understand what you're saying. I think cash would be the preferred gift for a lot of us, if not all of us.  I originally did not want to make a registry either, but I made a small one at Bed Bath and Beyond at least for the bridal shower.

    I think the best way to let guests know you want cash, is by word of mouth. Tell your parents, his parents and other family that if people ask them what to get you, have them explain that you guys already have things for your home, and that a monetary gift would be best.

    If you still want to put something under the registry info, I would have it say something like... "Monetary gifts are welcome"
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I think it depends on culture.  In Asian weddings, most people give cash and think nothing of breaching etiquette.  But in western cultures, giving cash makes people uncomfortable.

    Perhaps you can just spread the word that you prefer cash.  The Asians in my wedding are probably going to give me cash (hopefully, lol) but I am going to set up a registry for the ones that feel uncomfortable (a honeymoon registry).

    HTH!
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    FutureMrsFezzFutureMrsFezz member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Don't put anything on your invites about wanting monetary gifts.  That's tacky.  Just use word of mouth. People close to you know that you have everything and don't really need anything.  Most people now-a-days give money anyway.

    Are you planning on having a bridal shower?  Because then you would need a registry as bridal showers are not for 'cash'.  If you still plan to have a shower just make a small registry with things that you want to upgrade or extras of things you already have. 

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic  
    6.6.12 | 7 lbs 9 oz | 20 inches
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I would also prefer to have money given to me as a gift BUT I also think that specifying you want cash anywhere on your invite or website is tacky. I also think some guests would find it offensive, I would.

    If you are having a bridal shower, that is when you would need a registry, even if it is small or you can do a honeymoon registry which essentially is like giving you money. And correct me if I am wrong but I think Bed Bad and Beyond does let you exchange the gifts back for money, not a credit?

    Whenever I go to a wedding, I have never seen actual gifts there as people prefer to bring money anyways. So if you are not having a bridal shower, and are only getting gifts at the wedding, I don't think it is necessary to say anything in print, but you can spread it by word of mouth.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker image
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I understand where you're coming from! I'm struggling because I will be moving at least 3000 miles right after the wedding, so the last thing that I want is a bunch of kitchen stuff that I have to carry with me all those miles. I don't know what to do either...honestly, I don't really want to register! I know that I can't ask for cash, that is definitely not acceptable in my culture... I don't know what to do!!! Ugh! Sorry, this is not helpful at all, but maybe it's nice to know that others understand???
  • Options
    edited December 2011

    I would just not register and don't put anything up. If people ask if you are registered anywhere say, No we have everything we need, and leave it at that. Some people may choose to give you gifts anyway, nothing you can really do about it.

  • Options
    Rainbow17Rainbow17 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-south-florida_will-think-this-tacky-but-mini-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:67Discussion:5f13f928-1860-4e78-8ef6-1170d037f7a7Post:f09d19c4-4409-46ec-8867-8b91d1fa7a9c">Re: I know you will think this is tacky but... (mini vent)</a>:
    [QUOTE] I also think some guests would find it offensive, I would.

    I'm just trying to get to the bottom of this.  Why is it offensive to request cash, but not offensive to request an entire list of random things (registry)? 

    To me, they are exactly the same.  I'll either spend $100 on an item from your registry or I'll just give you $100, whatever would be most useful to you.  Its not offensive to me, and I'd rather have give something that can be appreciated than some random gift the couple will barely use.

    Just trying to understand the logic in it.
  • Options
    Krysta6Krysta6 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The only way that I can explain why it is tacky is the way that my mother would word it. Say on the registry you register for something worth $20 well someone would buy that no problem, but she says that when she gives cash or gift cards that she feels obligated to give more than she would probably spend on a gift. 

    I personally don't like to give money if possible as a gift, for the reason listed above and also because I feel like its impersonal. At least for a registry I get to pick something that I know you will love but is also a representation of me. Cash doesn't do that for me.

  • Options
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-south-florida_will-think-this-tacky-but-mini-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:67Discussion:5f13f928-1860-4e78-8ef6-1170d037f7a7Post:ab6c53e2-c7fc-4b87-9bee-90c200c7d77d">Re: I know you will think this is tacky but... (mini vent)</a>:
    [QUOTE]The only way that I can explain why it is tacky is the way that my mother would word it. Say on the registry you register for something worth $20 well someone would buy that no problem, but she says that when she gives cash or gift cards that she feels obligated to give more than she would probably spend on a gift. [/QUOTE]

    THIS... that is exactly the reason... like she said, when someone gives you money, they do feel obligated to give you more. Lets not say $20, maybe giving even a gift that costs $50 that is nice. I would feel better giving a $50 gift, than $50 in cash.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker image
  • Options
    edited December 2011

    p.s. I think not registering at all or including any wording is probably your best bet

    Wedding Countdown Ticker image
  • Options
    edited December 2011

    Check this out. I saw this a while back on here posted by another knottie.

    www.ourwishingwell.com

    We thought of doing it too but we need EVERYTHING so we decided to create a registry instead.

    GL girls.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    imageimage
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards