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One Small Suggestion

For any newbie brides:

wait to pick your BMs. I pretty much picked mine right away, and I regret it. I have six BM total, and I want to cut at least two of them; one of them being my MOH. The last thing any bride needs is to be stuck handling everything by herself with no help and no enthusiasm, and I feel that way sometimes. If that was the case, I could have saved myself a lot of headaches by not having any BMs.

I'm not saying all six of them are unresponsive or unsupportive, etc., but one can ruin it for everyone, so just think long and hard before you pick yours.

Sorry, needed to vent a little.

Re: One Small Suggestion

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    edited December 2011
    oh no im sorry... I also have 6 BM's and I'm praying this doesn't happen.
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    herculeschloeherculeschloe member
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    edited December 2011
    That is crazy- that is what I tell everyone now! It amazes me that you would think those closest to you (your likely BM choices) would be the most helpful but turns out some of them could care less!
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    edited December 2011
    OMG Steph, you too!!!! WOW!!! This is unbelievable!!! They just don't get it, and wait til they get married, karmaaaaaa!

    I am still upset with my BM's I haven't spoken to them, not that much has changed. I am thinking of removing most of my BM shoots at the wedding, because honestly I don't want to waste any camera time on them. I still love them and want them, but I've had enough of it. I'm not bending over backwards or giving them time they don't deserve. What upsets me the most is that I wanted to buy them a matching purse to go with their dress and a bracelet or something, on top of what I have already gotten which was a big tote back with initials, picture frame, BM tank and a little wallet card that said how much they mean to me. BUT forget that other stuff, like I said, I'm done!
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    edited December 2011
    i agree on that one also!! i have 5 bridemaid's and one is just not in the picture and won't respond to anything i email her WR or NWR. I asked her if she still wanted to be in the wedding and she responded right away. Then a week later no contact anymore. So be sure who you want. Hopefully this changes sooner than later
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    edited December 2011
    Good advice!  I'd be here all day if I went into specifics of the hours of crying I went through because of them.  It's the only reason I have cried in years.
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    twinkle82576twinkle82576 member
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    edited December 2011
    Steph: I know exactly how you feel! I've purchased sooo many things for my girls. No lie, I think I've gotten more goodies for them than I have for myself. One of them, I swear I haven't spoken to since my engagement party... over a year ago. The extent of our communication has been FB. And my MOH... she just drives me up the walls. She and I are a lot alike, so we clash sometimes. Only difference is that I try to think before I open my mouth, and she just has diarrhea of the mouth. I really want to fire her. I'll keep the MIA one over her at this point. Lol.

    Girls, I know I've been seeing a lot of you venting about BM's lately, and I just thought I'd through this out there so the newbies know they have to think about this choice. I'm really just shocked sometimes. I know they have no obligations of doing anything, but you would at least expect support, ideas, advise, etc. Anyone of them could have turned down the offer to be a BM, my feelings wouldn't have been hurt. I'd rather them have done that than be putting me through this now.
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    fishinflagirlfishinflagirl member
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    edited December 2011
    Talk about freaking me out. Maybe I will just say no to a WP! haha I am a newbie, and after hearing all that, ahhhhh.
    Sorry you girls have to go through that. Luckily for me, now I know to wait, so thanks. My BFF told me she wanted to fire a few of her BM's because she picked them a year out, she said it was the worst thing bc she could have had better BM's. I thought it was suppose to be other issues that make you flip out and cry, not the ones who should be supporting you and honored you choose them to stand up for you at the biggest day of your life!
    Good Luck girls! Thanks for the advice!!
    Katie
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    twinkle82576twinkle82576 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Katie - Listen to your BFF. I had hear this a lot from previous brides, but never thought it would happen to me. Buyer beware! Lol. 
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    fishinflagirlfishinflagirl member
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    edited December 2011
    LOL thanks!
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    edited December 2011
    Awwww steph!! Cry
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    anaroo87anaroo87 member
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    edited December 2011
    Erica .. I did the same and am perfectly happy with my choice for the same reasons.. I think it's the best way to go lol
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    edited December 2011
    Girls who are having problems, what kind of problems?  Do your BMs all know one another and cause problems within a group?

    I haven't had any issues with mine, and I don't think I will.  Both of them live out of town and they don't know each other, so there's no drama there.  I don't know, I can't imagine anything coming up ... my expectations are also really low, though, I know they won't be throwing parties or anything, all I want is for them to be at the wedding by my side.
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    edited December 2011
    This is exactly why I waited cause of the horror stories. I just asked this past week my FI 2 sisters, my aunt, my cousin, and my 2 best friends and they were all for it. However, I am sending out an email next week to each of them to let me know there will be expenses involved and make sure they're all in hopefully this avoids any issues Sealed
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    edited December 2011

    I've been hearing such horror stories about bridesmaids lately. I'm a newbie and I have no idea who I am going to pick yet. I guess my MOH has to be my sister but that worries me because her and I have TOTALLY different personalities and I just want to make sure she understands that its about me and my wedding. (She's 3 years older and not in any serious relationship so she's having problems adjusting to my engagement). I wanted my BFF since elementary school to be my MOH but shes going through medical school in a different state so she wouldnt be able to help me with everything i need. Do you guys think I should still pick my sister even though she knows nothing about weddings and whats expected of a MOH??

    Thanks for the warning. I'm going to wait a loooong time before i pick my BM's. :)

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    twinkle82576twinkle82576 member
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    edited December 2011
    Pamela: My sister is not my MOH, and now I wish she was. She's been great throughout the engagement and halpeful, and tags along with me when I ask her to, etc. Don't pick your sister because you think it's an obligation to. I picked my BFF... it just so happens that in my case it blew up in my face.
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    edited December 2011

    Do you think it would be rude to only ask 2 out of 5 cousins from my fiance's family to be in my wedding party? I'm close with all of them but the rest of them live out of the country. Should I ask them to be polite knowing that they probably can't contribute as much as the ones that live here???

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