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FSIL Drama!!!! UGH..... Back up FG... Check!! (LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG) Sorr

So my FSIL (who I stupidly asked to be a BM - b/c I thought it would be nice) is causing more drama and stress and 2 of my BM's want to kick her ass because she has made me cry 2 times in the past 6 months! I love my girls!

A month ago, she got pissed at ME for inviting her and FI's mom to my bridal shower, because it would inconvenience HER. Then she tried to guilt me by saying she didn't know if she would come then if FMIL has to come. FMIL get's stuck watching FSIL's kids EVERY weekend, all weekend... so FSIL can work and hang out with her friends and "take a break." FSIL doesn't think I should invite FMIL, let alone the fact that FMIL will hate me if I dissed her like that, AND I WOULDN'T BLAME HER!!!!

Anyhow, we worked that drama out in May, and now... this week... She tells me she can't come and can't help my MOH at my Shower (next Saturday) at all because she can't afford to drive the whole 45 mins up to Jupiter where the shower is. (I live in PSL... and chose Jupiter because it would be easier for them.) Ugh

Ugly fight ensues, and she says she won't come to the wedding then. She bitches to FMIL that I am asking her to do SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much and she didn't know she had to do any thing.

Here's what I've asked of her....
1. Come to Bridal Show/Bridesmaid Dress Shopping - she bailed via text msg 11pm the night before.

2. Come to E-Party. (feel free to stay the weekend at my house since it's a far drive.) - Bitched, Bitched Bitched... People were asking me why she is being such a bitch... I had to try to defend her...

3. If staying over the night before E-party, have kids (2 & 5 yr olds) in bed by 11 so that I can get some sleep since our E-photo shoot had been rescheduled to the next morning due to rain) - Didn't happen. 2 yr old was chugging mtn dew at12:30am!!!

4. Order BM dress... Bailed on 1st apt I set up... Said AA wouldn't help her when she "dropped" by... My consultant says she was not there that day, I had asked her specifically to keep an eye out for her... FINALLY orders dress in April... All other BMs ordered theirs in Feb.

5. Attend Bridesmaid Lunch (my treat) and Invitation Assembly party - Couldn't get off work, ok that's fine, I understood since she just got back from a 12 vacation....

Which brings us to...

6. Come to Shower... This is supposed to be MY NEW FAMILY and she is treating me like garbage!!! She says her car won't drive that far... but won't bring it to the shop, but can go to HardRock and spend money gambling. (She also owes me $120 for medicine I purchased for her daughter when she was really sick and needed it...) So I offer to have FI pick her and FMIL and the kids and drive them up here... no... she doesn't want that.

Fight ensues, she sends nasty texts to FI about, "if she can't get it through her head that I can't commit to these things, then we just wont come to the wedding." I mean really? Is she really that spiteful that she would hurt FI to make a point?

She tells her mom her side of the story, conveniently forgets to add that I offered to pick them up and drive them home, that I am buying all of their jewelry and all she had to buy is a dress and silver heels... and now FMIL is mad at me to.

HAVE I ASKED TOO MUCH? Apparently you need to tell your BMs that you expect them to attend a few important parties, and help set up, plates and napkins etc. She apparently didn't know being a BM involved any of this...

Oh yeah, she doesn't want FMIL at the RD either... but tough cookies.

I will be calling FMIL this weekend to extend my offer to pick her up if she would like to come, and to tell her what I am going to tell her daughter, that if being a part of her brother's wedding isn't important to her, we no longer want her there.

I am done being abused and being made to feel guilty for trying to enjoy my time as a Bride.

So... I decided I have had enough abuse. If she does not apologize and attend my shower, I am removing her from the programs, and I am uninviting her. My FI is standing behind me on this one, thank god.

Which brings me to my back up FG check. FG is FSIL daughter. While it will break my heart to do so, if FSIL isn't coming to the wedding, I doubt she would let her daughter attend, so one of my friends if I can borrow her daughter. She is sweet, and beautiful and her mother is SANE. :) How awesome is it that she and FG are the same size? heheheheh

Yup... I'm passively evil. Love it! Thanks for letting me vent my lovelies... I am so stressed lately between my crazy new hot boss and his insane workload I am juggling and wedding drama... I have gotten my stress tic back in my eye and I swear I am going to FLIP out if it doesn't go away by D-day!

Ok... off to bed! xoxoxo
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Re: FSIL Drama!!!! UGH..... Back up FG... Check!! (LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG) Sorr

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    bears4lifebears4life member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow doll! So sorry you're going through this...it's ridiculous. Family drama sucks. I'm glad FI is backing you up though...thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs xoxoxoxo
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    edited December 2011
    WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!! Ummmm I would've kicked her a$$ out a loooong time ago! I understand wanting to keep the peace, and trying hard to get along but she is making it really difficult! Sorry you're going through this!
    :: Lynette & PJ :: 1.22.11 :: For Sale ::
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    edited December 2011
    Awwww Love ya Gabi! I know it's horrible, because I truly love her. She just went crazy after the proposal... I'm 99% sure she is jealous, because her and her DH got married and the court house and kept it secret cuz FMIL didn't like him. She doesn't know all the stress that is involved... but its no reason to be mean to me and rude to her bro!!
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    bears4lifebears4life member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    love you too!! and yes that's no reason at all! You've done nothing wrong! I hope it gets better soon <3
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    edited December 2011
    Awww I am so sorry you are having to deal with this!!! You have not asked much and if anything I think you have gone out of your way to help her. Look being a BM is a privilege not a right and if she is not being a supportive and wonderful BM then she shouldn't be one. I think you have given her plenty of time and this is you/fiances day and it should be wonderful and drama free! 
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    edited December 2011
    Lynnette... Joanna... I am just scared that if I cut her out, she will hold it against me forever. She's like that. I guess I am just planning on proceeding as if she won't be a BM and if she shows up great, but if not, I could care less.

    I mean, this isn't worth a family fued getting started over. But I might just go pick up her dress since she owes me $120... and give her 30 for it and say, I need someone I can count on, someone who's not to berate me and make me feel bad. Hopefull we can move past this... I'm too forgiving, and I get treated like a doormat, but I will not be one in my white wedding dress. Sorry. This means too much to me to let her screw it up.

    Ugh... At least she lives far away,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
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    edited December 2011

    WOW! That is really screwed up. I think you have been way patient and accomodating. She is clearly jealous and wants to have some of the spotlight on her.

    I totally agree that being a BM is a priviledge and she should be thankful. You didn't have to include her, yet you did. She should be very happy that her brother is getting married and should be bending over backwards to help you. It's sad on her part to cause you extra stress and create family drama.


    I understand you not wanting to have it be an issue for years to come that you removed her either from being a BM or in general from the wedding, BUT you need to at the very least sit and talk to her and see what is her problem.


    Are she and your FI really close? Does she feel that by marrying you he is no longer gonna give her attention or something of the sort? There has to be a reason for her behavior. However, whatever it is, her behavior is still unacceptable.


    This is not an easy situation for you and my heart goes out to you. A wedding is and should be a wonderful event that brings people together, not tear them apart.


    I hope it all works out for you. Whatever the outcome, remember on your wedding day to forget everything and enjoy your day!


    Good luck!

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    twinkle82576twinkle82576 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry you're going through this. Like all the other posts said, you should not have to deal with this, and her behavior is unacceptable. I would have removed her from the wedding on her first offense.
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    edited December 2011

    family stuff like this really sucks.  I've been having a hard time w/ my fsil, so i totally feel your pain.  I've just realized that no matter what happens, I can't let it grow into something so big that it ruins our days.  I know it's tough, but I've been trying to just ignore anything she's been attempting to do, and after the wedding, i'll let her know what's up, and how this type of behavior is totally unacceptable ;)

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    sambrefe67sambrefe67 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    man o man o man. Now i understand your fb message! haha

    I am sorry you are going though this, and you know what good for you for standing up to her.  If your FMIL loves you, she will understand what you are saying.  I have never had to explain things to my BMs they just know, and vise versa when i was a BM.  Being a BM is a honor and work comes along with it. Thats why you ASK them to be BMs bc if they cant handle it they can politely decline.

    You are right this is LONG LOLOLOL.  This is one of the reason I love this board so much.  We can share things like this, and everyone understands doesn't judge and we get to help each other feel better.  So feel better, youre doing the right thing.

    Stand up for yourself.
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    edited December 2011
    Wow! Your FSIL obviously has ISSUES. Is she always like this about everything or is this only with you? Seems like she is super jealous. I dont understand how some people can be like that. I do give you credit for continuing being so kind and reaching out to help her out/pay for her part. 
    If i were in your shoes I would pay her no mind at all. I would make sure she threatens me again with not coming to the wedding or not being a BM and take her word for it. say something like "wow that really hurts me, but i understand. you dont have to be in the wedding i am sorry ive caused you so much trouble" and leave it at that...she in a way kicked her self out and there's no reason you should feel guilty or look like the bad person. then you can happily have a great wedding with out her trying to ruin it or interfering with her unneeded drama. 
    I hope you can settle this before the wedding, you dont need any of this bull. its stressful enough trying to plan to begin with.
    xoxo
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    edited December 2011
    OMG deja vu didnt she have the car excuse last time for something else??? And what was her excuse when you told her youd pick her up... obviously ur FSIL has some personal issues and if I were you I would A. Not stress it...not worth ur time and effort and B. not ask her to come to anything else...if she does great if not great...Hope things get resolved with FMIL! GL!
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    edited December 2011
    Hahah Evelyn... yes, the car excuse is always the excuse... or money or something else... even though he car made it up 2 my house just fine 2 times so far.

    She says she doesn't want to be stuck without a car... is her excuse... anyway... I'm done. Debating whether it is even worth it to go down to Ft. Laud on Friday to have this discussion or not... ugh

    Thanks for all the love and advice guys! It's nice to be told I'm not crazy! :)
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    edited December 2011
    WTH!!!! This is YOUR WEDDING! If she is jealous that is her problem,NOT yours.....You must have a heart of gold because you have been more than accomodating to her and have gone above and beyond to make things easy for her when she is the one who should be helping you keep your sanity during the planning and everything revolving your wedding.If it were me I would have given her a swift kick in the a$$ a looooooong time ago or would have looked away while the bridesmaids beat her a$$( lol j/k). No but seriously do not let this woman do this to you and your Fiance and last time I checked the Tri-Rail ride up to Mangolia Park never hurt anyone,she can take that up there and have someone pick her up...its 20 minutes away from Jupiter.Also if she made it OBVIOUS that she was being a bitch at you E-Party, what guarantees you she would werak havoc on the day of your wedding? The one day you get to have the best day of your life.....Hang in there :))
    South Florida July Siggy Challenge-Bouquet image . image image ................. Invited:120image Attending:121 image Declined:001image Not Yet Replied:0image RSVP Date: July 25th Ready to Roll!!
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    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't drive down on Friday... with the storm system coming in, the weather should be pretty ugly. You don't need to be driving in that for a person who has given you nothing but stress and headache.

    Stay home... :-) I would.
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    Lacey36Lacey36 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    So sorry about that hun! Hope things work out, family drama can always suck.
    My Bio Photobucket Number Invited 152 image Number Attending 109 image Number Declined 43 image Number Not Replied 0 image RSVP Date June 30th Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    edited December 2011

    WOW! That really sucks. So sorry you have to deal with that kind of bs. Family drama is some of the worst.

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