My mother is driving me NUTS!!!! Vent! please help....

plswitze

Ok... so my parents are contributing a huge chunk of money to our wedding, which i appreciate of course. However, she is acting like a crazy person!!! We argued for 2 weeks straight about the fact that FI and I had decided to get married in beautiful sunny South florida instead of where I grew up in VA.

She's basically just acting so passive aggressive trying to make me feel guilty about everything! Not to mention ANY idea I have she either ignores, and suggests her own, or shoots it down with no suggestiong to be had. I am so frustrated with how every conversation we have leads to an argument about the things I (and my fiance) want for our wedding. 

The newest problem is that we have pretty much chosen our venue however she insists she has to see it first (and of course look at other places as if I haven't spent all my time online and looking through ft. laud). So she is trying to come down this month, but I really can't take the time off on a wk day.

Basically she is just being so controlling, and it's as if she doesn't trust me to choose anything myself!!! This is my wedding, not my first communion! I can choose the things I like!!! Has anyone else been through this??? Words of wisdon?!!

Dlreiter

What venue did you choose?

herculeschloe

Maybe you just need to sit down with your mom and express the same things to her that you expressed to us? My mom got totally carried away when we got engaged...like I was standing at Discovery Cove, where we got engaged, just calling to tell her he finally did it and she started going on and on about venues! Sometimes I think they just lose sight of the fact that it is actually US getting married, not them! Be honest with her, tell her that you feel she is shooting down all of your ideas. Good luck, sending happy vibes your way!

Krysta6

Both of my parents have been more than opinionated.. To the point that I have cried numerous times (which that usually makes them back off lol) I would just express that you appreciate everything they are doing and that you want her to be a part of the process but that you feel like your ideas are getting lost in the mix. If its something we don't want and they want I usually say something like- that is just not us, it doesn't represent who we are. and they usually back off then. There are other times i let them have what they want (my dad wants a chocolate fountain for dessert, I think they tend to be gross) because it is not worth fighting over. Good Luck! 

LaMaFa

I'm having a similar problem with my mom, and could use some advice too!

 My mom is not playing nice (and by this I mean acting like a psycho when it comes to any wedding related talk, and this weekend they came down to Ft. Lauderdale to look at venues (b/c my parents are gonna be contributing the most), which was an utter disaster.
And to top it all off, yesterday was my birthday and we were in the car for over 20 minutes driving to a venue before my sister's phone beeped a reminder and she told me happy birthday, everyone had forgotten (FI wasn't there). So when we got back to the house and FI and FIL had put together a little party for me, my mom made this snide comment about FIL must be loving me more than my parents now. I was so stunned I didn't even say anything, but I am gonna have to talk to at least my dad at some point soon about this, because I will not tolerate her being to rude to my FILs after everything they've done to help me and Chris.
My best idea to deal with her is to not talk to her period- which hurts because I love her and want her involved, but I feel like I can't talk to her about it without being treated like a stupid 4 year old. My dad is being semi-level-headed about discussing wedding stuff, so for now I'm gonna stick to only talking to him; but I want my mom involved if she can stop being crazy, act like an adult and pretend to be happy for me.
Any suggestions? Am I being totally unreasonable, bridezillaish?