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Advice needed

So as I'm writting my Confessions I wrote this and then realized I need to address this issue - I typed it and now I cant stop thinking about it!!!!! WAAAAAAA


4) My closest friend growing up (friends for 14 years) was a guy.  Over a year and a half ago we had a falling out and havent really spoken since.  I've secretely been really sad that he wont be at my wedding and cant talk to FI about it because I dont want him to think anything weird about me wanting a guy I havent talked to in years to be at our wedding.  Last night my MUA told me she spoke to him and he said "congrats blah blah" and honestly I almost cried.  I'm menstrual so very emotional but even then I really miss my friend and the wedding is making it sting.  I'm very conflicted because I always imagined him at my wedding, giving a toast or whatever and it's hard to imagine it without him.  What do I do?  Do I invite him? We arent even "friends" anymore - and what about FI? They never really got along..... I hate this stuff
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Re: Advice needed

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    edited December 2011
    IM sorry you are going thru this! Why dont you try and reach out to him? Maybe he wants to be a part of your day but is also worried about reaching out to you? Then atleast you'll know where you guys stand and maybe it will help you with him not being there if you atleast try..GL
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    edited December 2011
    I was about to say something on the onfessions thread, actually.

    If you talked to FI and tried to make him understand that there is nothing but friendship between you two, and that it would mean a lot to you, would it make a difference with FI? It's always important being honest, and as much as he may not like that you're missing a guy, he might need to realize it's innocent and it's just like another girl friend to you ... with hairy legs lol.

    If your friend is genuinely happy for you, then in guy world, he probably misses your friendship. I'd solve things with FI (never do anything behind his back, it's not good for the relationship), and go ahead with an invite for your friend. It's a perfect way of reaching out.

    Maybe even write him a note in his invite (sign you & FI, that way no one can ever misunderstand the situation!), and if he calls or RSVPs "yes", you have your friend back. If not, you have the calmness of knowing you tried your very best.

    It's a sticky situation nonetheless, so I wish you luck!

    By the way, in your browser, press Ctrl + F, then "Update Signature". This way you'll find how to add a picture. Show us your pretty face!
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    FutureMrsFezzFutureMrsFezz member
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    edited December 2011
    This is tough.  I would seriously consider how your FI will feel about this whole thing.  And I don't know about you, but if it were the other way around and my H was all upset about a girl (that I didn't get along with) coming to the wedding.  I would've had something to say about it and it wouldn't have been nice. 

    I would try and reconnect.  But maybe him coming to the wedding is not the best and easiest way to do so.  You may have the best intentions but from the other persons perspective it may seem weird.  Good luck.
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks Jen and Karen - I'm not worried about FI thinking anything about us romatically.  FI knows that was never the case - but this guy and FI are like Oil and water and FI is the kind of guy that if he had a brother and the brother pissed him off he would go the rest of his life not speaking to him and it wouldnt bother him.  What FI doesnt understand is why I (or women in general) "mourn" a friendship lost.  Whenever I say BFF and I used to ..... fill in the blank or I mention the old friend he gets annoyed because he says I cant let go.... and that I should.  I think I might send the old friend an email thanking him for sending his congrats along with my MUA and see if it sparks a conversation.  I have reached out to him before without much luck and I would be really hurt if I invited him and he didnt come.
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    edited December 2011
    I would call and try and reconcile. He probably misses you too.

    But be sure this won't be a sore spot with the FI and that it's  not a former flame or anything like that b/c you don't need a jealous FI.

    But people have falling outs and often times they grow and learn from it and then wish they could go back b/c obviously  you were friends for a reason and so maybe it's a good idea to put the past behind you and make up! (Just no kiss ha haha)
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    edited December 2011
    haha - definietly no kiss!!! Thanks knotties for not making me feel like a loser for pining over an old friendship!
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    michy22michy22 member
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    edited December 2011
    how about you friend him on FB or something? its a small start..
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    edited December 2011
    thanks Michy - we have always been FB friends but never write anything on each others walls or comment to each other.  We went to high school together so we have all the same friends so Its hard to avoid the situation.  It's always awkward
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