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getting the BM's to get their dresses (question & vent)

What is a fair amount of time to give BM's to get their dresses before you can reasonably begin to stalk them about it?

one of my dearest friends who is always so friendly lives out of town. I sent her all the dress details a little over 2 months ago. She just responsed with "Oh this is pretty" and has been totally avoiding me ever since. I called her just to catch up not event to ask about the dress. The store told me that it takes about 12 weeks for the dresses to come in so I left her a message last weekend just checking in. She sends me a text today saying- can i just order it online? no- hi how are you, sorry i have been avoiding you. It's totally unlike her. this was so cold and direct... what have I done wrong here? we don't see each other that often, but I know she's gone to weddings and she knows how this stuff works. Maybe there's other stuff going on that I don't know about. FI and i agreed we are not nagging people about getting dresses and tux's- if they don't get then in time, they just come as guests.

Re: getting the BM's to get their dresses (question & vent)

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    edited December 2011
    This is just rude on your friend's part....This is the same issue I had with my sister about my nieces dress since my 17 YO niece is unemployed...

    My niece has an eating disorder and has totally disconected from the family( Locks herself in her room, wont eat if she cant talk to her stupid BF and stuff like that) I offered to have her as a BM to get her out of the house and my sister the fool was like yeah sure...We picked out dresses 2 months ago....Never heard anything then I had to chase after her, I finally ordered the stupid dress myself after some angry email exchanges...She now owes me the money :S

    Call your BM and have a straight up convo with her.....That is what I did...
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    edited December 2011
    I don't understand how people can be this way. The way I have been looking at it- if you can't get your dress in a timely manner then I'm just going to assume they aren't in it. I think you don't need the extra stress and I think they are not taking your feelings into consideration. I may sound like a B*tch but, I don't want to stress over people.

    I personally think when people are distant and rude there is some sort of jealousy. I've literally taken my 7 bridemaids down to 5 because people just grow apart and sometimes immature. Weddings are a difficult time and you need support.
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    edited December 2011
    When youre getting married ,you realize who are true friends...

    South Florida July Siggy Challenge-Bouquet image . image image ................. Invited:120image Attending:121 image Declined:001image Not Yet Replied:0image RSVP Date: July 25th Ready to Roll!!
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    edited December 2011
    Oo girl I am going through the exact same thing with one of my bridesmaids.  Everyone has their dress except for her, she says she has no money and her mom is going to pay for it, then asks if she can bring her boyfriend to the wedding, which I didn't even know she was dating anyone.  I told her if she does not have her dress in time, she will not be a part of the wedding.

    There is no need to stress over it.  It will be her loss if she doesn't get her dress.
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    edited December 2011
    You have to give her a deadline date. She won't know what 12 weeks from before the wedding is. I undetand it is frustrating waiting for someone but like pp says if she doesn't get the dress in time she won't be in it. I harassed my sister who was like I still have 15 days before the cutoff date, all I said was what's so hard about calling the store and giving the cc info. Once she knew everyone else had placed the order (they hold it until everyone places it) she felt bad and called the next day. Give her some slack. Our emotions are super sensitive when it comes to the wedding.
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    WPB2KeyLargoWPB2KeyLargo member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My goal of my wedding day is to marry the love of my life. I gave my BM's all the info they need to get the dress.  They are big girls.  If they want to be in the wedding, they will get their dresses. I'm not nagging or following up.  If none of them have their dresses come wedding day, no skin off my nose, they just aren't in the wedding. I don't need bridesmaids for me to be able to walk down the isle and get married. 
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