Need Advice: Future Army Wife

rinanmatt

Hi Gals,I am fairly new to the boards but have gotten some great advice already just perusing through the posts.  It seems you all support each other really well, so I thought I'd put out a post asking for some advice.My fi proposed to me on October, and I happily accepted.  We planned to get married in early of 2011, after he comes back from his deployment.  Lately he has expressed that he wants to get married, legally, before he deploys in December, as there are so many financial benefits when you are a married couple in the armed forces.  He said that we can still have our reception in early 2011 like we planned, but I wonder if it would diminish the value of our celebration since we got married earlier.  I really was hoping to have a traditional wedding, saying our vows in front of our family and friends, but can't help also think of the practicality of getting married before he deploys.  What are your thoughts?  What would you do?Thanks for any advice you can offer....Rin

ellefirst1980

OH Geez that is a tough one! I am not a fan of rushing to get married especially when he is about to go through a deployment that may be a life changing experience; but I understand the financial benifits and I am a practical kind of girl. I do think being married early may take away from the reception--but ithe reception will also be a welcoming home party in many ways and that will be exciting. In the end..do what you feel is right.  

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Yeah, it sort of diminishes the value of it, but the question is whether or not it's worth it, right? Do the benefits outweigh the pretty princess day?Whatever you do, if you get legally married early, just call it a "vow renewal" when you do the actual party/reception part. Do not lie to people about whether or not you are really married. And some people will still look askew at a "vow renewal" too. Some people think having wedding parties or registering, or having showers or bachelorette parties, is tacky when you're ALREADY MARRIED. So if that stuff is important to you, then wait.Some people get married early when they are in the military if their spouse is being sent to a combat zone as a precaution for the worst-case scenario (you will get benefits in that case). Some people want health insurance/on-base housing, etc. Some people want to do a big wedding which takes more planning and therefore put it off, taking their chances. Only you can decide what's worth it.

Genie03

hello Only my opinon ofcourse, but I don't feel like it would diminsh the value. If you do decide to get married right now you can always still have your family and friends there and when he does get back you can have a cute "vow renewal" and reception.Like pp said it would also be a celebration of him coming home too. I've been married for 6 yrs. already and will be doing a "vow renewal" this september and will be doing a wedding party and bacially all the normal stuff you do in weddings so just because your married dosen't mean you can't do any of that stuff anymore. You do what you want to do, but don't limit yourself just because you'll technically already be married. Good luck and HTH

Soon2B Mrs.V

Perhaps you could ask this over on the military/armed forces board. I'm sure they would have some great advice and experience to share with you! Congratulations on your engagement!