Ok Ladies...I've held this in for a few weeks now and I think with what was said to me I need to explode though I did let a little steam bowling lol
Here I go...
Fi and FMIL live together, FI did this to help her (and maybe him a little as well) out financially because a few yrs back she was declared disabled because of her back and multiple surgeries she's had. His parents are divorced and have been since he was 8 yes old and he has seen LOTS of boyfriends and girlfriends in his parents life.
Lets fast forward a bit....Feb '09 we spoke to FMIL and explained we wanted to start our new lives together as a couple. She totally agreed and was very happy that we were finally tying the knot etc etc....
Fast forward some more....
Jan'10-Fi starts telling me she's dating the upstairs neighbor that just out of now where appeared to her friends apt. I was NO! No way!!!! (if you ladies saw him u would think the same) Valentines Day we saw flowers and a gift on the kitchen table. I just thought he was courting her and she was NOT interested.
March '10- I did the BIGGEST mistake of my life. I opened my BIG FAT MOUTH! I saw flowers again so I said I'm going to ask her about it....So we were sitting eating dinner and I said is "D" courting you? She responded with a yes as she glanced at FI who was pist and crawling in his skin. I continued to ask if she liked he was doing that...it seemed like that's what she was hoping anyone to ask her cux from this non-chalant person she went to lovey dovey. She said she very much liked him and he was her BF. I was oh that's nice. FI was totally disgusted.
I'll tell you why FI was totally disgusted by new BF.... prior to have that conversation I found out he sleeps on upstairs neighbor sofa and free loads off of her..probably pays little to no rent and does NOT have any income to help FI's mom. So Fi was a bit disapointed in his moms pick...but lets continue...
That friday is when we had that convo with FMIL alright that same weekend on Sunday we went in the APT to drop the dogs and do some errands we walk in, their shoes are at the entrance FI looks totally
and as we walk to her bedroom its closed (ladies she NEVER closed her door) FI was
but we left. We come back new BF is sitting on the couch with feet on coffee table all chill and shes sitting next to him I think i was just
caught a bit of guard. As we walk towards the rooms FI is nearly disgusted his moms door is open to her room her bed is stripped and on the floor it was so bizarre!!!!!
This continued behavior from FMIL and new BF and FI continued. No one would say anything to eachother. I was the one being polite and talking to everyone. Fi was soooooo frustrated holding everything in he would explode on me...so we started arguing ALOT MORE...anything I said would annoy him...our relationship was getting affected.
I told him he needed to talk to his mom....cux we were fighting TOO much and if he didn't like his living situation then he needed to move out..
REWIND a BIT
At this moment I found out a piece history that literally left me
when FI was 16yrs old, his mom had another BF which I met when FI and I got together. Well anyway...he took on a very similar attitude as he is now...ignoring this new guy and etc etc etc. Well at 16yrs old his mom told him that FI made her new husband (which that was the 1st he heard of that) VERY UNCOMFORTABLE and to please leave her home! Yes ladies you read right. At 16 he picked up his stuff and left.
Fast forward to the present...
I understood why he acts the way he does. Anyway...I'm trying to keep this short and sweet...FI decided to confront his mom said he didn't feel comfortable with this new guy in her life one day she brings this new guy...he wasn't feeling the fact that he's acting all comfortable.
She got pist and things were said and brought and thrown back and forth!!!!
They didn't speak for about a month...he confronted her again and he didn't like speaking to her...he wants the old relationship back but to accomplish that he thought it was best if they moved. She agreed and so that was that.
April '10-everything continues the same NEW BF comfortable as hell no one looks like there moving so FI talked to his mom and said Idk what you are planning to do but I'm moving out at the end of May and if you can't find a place by then thats ok I'll pay you till June but I'm going to be out of here in May. Her mouth dropped as she never thought this was REALLY going to happen. She was
cux since she is disabled her income isn't very much so she needed to find a low income home she can afford and this all takes a process...ladies in Fi's defense at the end of last year even early this year I sat and talked to her and told her to start saving $ and to look into low income housing because it all took a process and we didn't want to see her struggling for food & $$$.
So here we are May...the moving has started...tension is in the AIR. She now isn't speaking to me. On saturday morning she brought 3 trucks to pull everything out of their home. She's at least 80% moved out. She barely says anything to FI and if she does its to say some sarcastic remark.
FI just wants to brake this tie but feels like he has lost his mom again to another man. He found out through the grapevine shes pist at him because he wont take the time to know this new guy and how the moving process happen. He said he refuses to get to know him 3 or 4 months into the realtionship..he claims I've seen too many of these guys come and go some I really liked and then she got rid of them like trash so tell why should I get to know him when next week there might be a new one. He is standing his ground and refuses to budge.
So Saturday morning he is so pist, some stuff that his mom said from the beginning he said "this
@ssHole isn't going to our wedding, and she has something coming if he thinks he is" Saturday he blew the top!
He told me I need to talk to Christina and explain the situation because he knows even though we are saying NO to this new guy coming to the wedding (if he is around) that his mom will take the road he is a part of my life and just will show up with him. So he wants Christina to have him removed from the wedding and he said he is going to have a letter ready for his mom saying ALOT of stuff he has kept inside and that she ruined our day and with some $ she gifted us for the wedding and this is what blows me...that he is going to put you better hope I speak to you before you die because another man has come between us.
Ladies...I'm stressed my FMIL...this day is suppose to be full of LOVE and the way this is all going Christina may have to throw this guy out and if I know my FMIL she will make a scene!!!!! I have no idea what to do, what to say to either of them. My mom says that's their relationship butt out.
My heart starts beating faster of the thought this may happen on wedding day. Eloping sounds like a GREAT idea right about now!
Sorry so long....