My parents are trying to ruin my wedding.

phiaska

Here's the short version of the long story: 

My mother's brother had a political disagreement with my future husband and wrote him the most horrific, low-down email I have ever seen.  He called him terrible names and called his morality into question.  The end of that email said "I hope you and Randi have a nice life, but stay out of mine."  

The man refuses to apologize.  I'm now a week away from sending out invites.  He is not on my list.  Today, I went to drop of some gifts for my parents and my folks started the hard sell on how it's their daughter's wedding and "it's tearing them apart" to not invite this a-hole that everybody KNOWS is an a-hole. 

Before we put the deposit down on the venue, we talked about this. I told him I was willing to go to city hall and do it nice and quick if they were going to force us to invite him.  They said it was our wedding and we could do whatever we wanted.  Yes, they're shelling out for the whole thing - but I GAVE them the out before we signed contracts.

Now I'm less than 3 months away, have all sorts of deposits out with vendors and they're pulling this crap.

lala90

This is some BS!!!! I can't believe your parents even want that guy there.  I would not send him an invite.  How would your parents even know if you sent him one????  Maybe his invite just got "lost in the mail"

[Deleted User]

I think you should have a heart to heart with your folks and make it clear, that regardless of what political opinions your mom's brother and your husband have, when it comes down to YOUR HAPPINESS and the money already spent on this wedding anyone who is willing to put their political opinions ahead of that should either aggree to disagree or bow out now.

This has nothing to do with you.  It has nothing to do with your wedding.  It's all about how two people both think they are right, and as a result of not being able to convince the other, that the other is right they are causing grief for your wedding.

If you're mom's brother is childish enough to write you and your fiancee off just because of a political disaggreement, then let him dig his own grave and lie in it.

Why the hell would anyone want someone who would make such a big fuss at the wedding?

Why don't you show your parents what a jerk he is by showing them the letter, before you decide to give them a word in edge wise?

That way, they can make up their minds as to exactly what kind of person they want you to invite to your wedding.

Also, if this guy is really serious, then even if you send an invite to please your parents, he prolly won't show.

jagore08

I had a similar issue with my uncle just before the wedding (not political though, which I think is stupid to fight about!) but to make peace, I invited my uncle and aunt anyway.  They didn't come nor did they even reply to the invitation.  It made me look like the better person and my uncle look like a little bastard.  Send them an invitation to save face and they (more than likely) won't show.  

I'm sorry that you are having to go through this right before your wedding.  Family drama is never good.  Just keep your head held high and remember this day is about you and your FI and not about you a*hole of an uncle.

uscppg

I am sorry you are having to deal with this.  I would agree you should have a heart to heart with your parents.   If your uncle wants to be a part of you and your husbands life- he should make ammends for all the name calling.

Regardless of who is paying- this is your wedding!

Good luck

phiaska

Well, we're having the dreaded discussion tonight.  FI and I are meeting my parents and his mother for dinner at my parents' house.  I'm picking up my invites on my way there.  Here goes nothing!

phiaska

Well, it's more or less sorted out.  He's not being invited.  My parents will be supportive, and apparently the one who is causing all the stress is my grandmother (said uncle's mother), so FI and I will go talk with her directly and explain why we've made our decision.

Thanks for the support, ladies!