Just Engaged and Proposals

Yay! I think....

So, I just got engaged.  And I'm super organized, but I feel like there is sooooo much to figure in at once.  I'm near Chicago, but we think it will be more personal (not to mention less expensive) to get married at my college church in the southern part of the state and have the reception at a vineyard that I love down there.  However, I'm still waiting to hear back from the Fr. who confirmed me (he's moved to NY since my catholic confirmation, but I would really like him to marry us).  So, I can't reserve any dates yet.  I am already starting to find photographers and videographers that I like, but how in the heck am I going to reserve them all for the same date.  None of them seem to get back to me at the same time.  Do I have them all on the phone with me on three way (church, photographer, videographer) when I book the reception at vineyard? Did I mention that between work, substitute teaching, and my master's degree, I barely have time?  I spend time with my fiance by doing my homework during his shift at work (he's a shift manager at a coffee shop).  Also, we're on a budget (i'm going to have to quit my job during my internship at school in half a year), and my future in laws are having strong opinions about where we might cut cost, however, neither of our parents can afford to give much, if anything.  The only thing we can do is plan far out, and we are already thinking of Fall 2011, but many vendors aren't even booking that far.  I'm sure all of you have had similar problems, so any advice would be great. 
~It took us five years to finally date, one year to become engaged, and the rest of our lives to fall in love over and over again~ siggy challenge - hair inspiration Photobucket

Re: Yay! I think....

  • Congrats on the engagement. I think you are stressing yourself unnecessarily at this point. You've got almost 2 years, so there is no need to worry at this point. If I were you, I would just work to collect ideas that I like. I started planning about a year out and quite honestly, it was almost too much time for me. I stressed over it when I didn't have to. Just relax and enjoy this time.
  • I agree with Cew.  At this point, with 2 years to plan, you really shouldn't even be trying to book vendors at this point.  Use the checklist here on the Knot, it will keep you on track. 

    First things first, talk to the Fr you mentioned and figure out the ceremony and reception venue, then just start gathering pictures and ideas.  You'll probably change your mind a lot between now and a year from now about styles and colors, not to mention dresses, as seasons and styles change year to year. 

    When you're getting close to a year out is when you want to start contacting photographers and other vendors like that.  You don't have to book them all at the same time, just start with one and work your way down the list.  Start with whoever books up first, probably the photographer.  Cake and florist are usually last. 

    Just take it easy, follow your checklist, and don't let yourself get so stressed out this early.  Nothing much will happen with wedding planning until the last 9 months or so anyway.
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  • I also agree with the others about taking some time to enjoy the engagement. I didn't even look at wedding stuff for the first 2 months of being engaged.

    After that I felt very overwhelmed with all the choices (and MONEY). I approached it by figuring out what my most important aspects/vendors of the day would be. For me it was reception and photographer. So those were the first 2 things I booked. A lot of reception places will let you book far in advance. So maybe you could just book your ceremony/reception location and then take a deep breath and relax for awhile. Realize that there is more than one photographer/videographer that will be able to do an amazing job. Shop around and see if you can get the best deal for what you are looking for.

    Hope this helps!
  • congratulations! It's exciting but you have to step back and enjoy the engagement!

    no need to conference call people. I would do some serious research online (try your local board for vendor reviews, try getting on yelp) and narrow down a short list of photographers/videographers/caterers/ etc that are reputable. Your venue should also have some recommendations of people that they regularly work with. All this, can be dealt with in a year :) For now, make a big list for yourself so it's all out on paper and you can put it out of your mind. Then go get in bed with you FI and snuggle up with a good movie.

    ditto PP's with the knock checklist. Most of it involves going on google and getting ideas. no worries!
  • Thank you all for all of your great replies.  I figured it was early, but I'm on of THOSE people who try to get everything in life done fast, but never realize that there will always be more.  And, I have been researching for a while now, about 3 months before our engagement until now, 2 months after.  You are all right, there are many amazing photographers and other vendors.  I think aside from the reception, the photog and videog is our most important aspect.  I could only find one videographer so far that I really liked. Seems like there is not much of them in Southern Illinios (or at least not with websites with samples).  Does anyone in Illinois have a good videographers they used that has a website I can glance at.  I really like Furlo so far.  Well, again.  Thanx!
    ~It took us five years to finally date, one year to become engaged, and the rest of our lives to fall in love over and over again~ siggy challenge - hair inspiration Photobucket
  • If you click on the "Local Weddings Board" link on the left sidebar, there should be a local board to give you recommendations.

    I'm a planner too, and I know it's hard, but try to hold back for awhile.  My mind has changed on some things since we first got engaged almost a year ago, but because I did so much so early I can't really change them now.  Collect LOTS of ideas, stalk wedding bios and blogs and read reviews, but try to sit tight for the time being!
    two years!
    after two losses, now happily expecting baby #1 09.16.12
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  • ha.. my local board (southern Ill/st. louis) where i'm getting married is dead.  I'll keep chicago (near my hometown) in mind for ideas at least.
    ~It took us five years to finally date, one year to become engaged, and the rest of our lives to fall in love over and over again~ siggy challenge - hair inspiration Photobucket
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