ok so i need to get this off my chest. i love the way my engagement happened the REAL way but we feel the other way is better to tell others...here's the story...
back story first: ever since childhood i have struggled with depression. i'm sooo much better now but every now and then i go backwards. it's like i need to consciously change my attitude from negative to positive. i've always been this way, FH is sooo supportive and amazing. he's made me happier than i've ever been in my entire weeks.
for a few weeks he was being super secretive and overprotective of his phone....i knew he was hiding something and i didn't know what - i actually started to think he was cheating or something! honestly i started thinking i knew it, i knew this was too good to be true. i'm too happy for this to be real. he went to take a shower and i took a peek at his phone. i literally just pressed the screen on and he walked in on me! he started FREAKING out (understandably i can't beleive i did that i've NEVER doubted him) we started fighting, i started bawling, i was on the ground crying, he was so mad he stormed out. he came back a few minutes later and he started asking me why i did that, and i told him exactly what i said that its like i feel like i'm too happy for this to be real. that TEMPORARILY i thought i don't deserve him. i followed by saying i do deserve him he makes me so happy and i've never felt happines like this before.
he turned to me and said you're such an idiot. if you would have just waited for tomorrow, shook his head, dropped to one knee and said i deserve the world and he can't give me that but he can promise me everything he is and everything he can do to keep me as happy as i am. and then he asked me to marry him! i was sooooooooo shocked it made me cry even more!
this is how it really happened and i couldn't be happier. i saw me at one of the worst moments i've ever had, actually in that deep depressive state of mind and he saw me as beautiful and wanted me even more. it was amazing.
how everyone else thinks it happened - i came home from work that friday (this real story happened on wednesday and had to keep it secret haha) and he was waiting on the balcony with flowers and candles, on one knee with the ring and proposing....funny and cute thing - he actually DID propose that second time it was amazing!! we went to karaoke that night and my entire family came it was all a surprise and he was making plans with both of our families to meet us there and that's why he was secretive about his phone!!
i love both ways it happened but i needed to share the real story beacuse its just amazing but we dont' want people to know that A. i blew the suprise haha and B. most of my family doesn't know i have depression and i'd rather them not know
ugh so good to get this off my chest!!! =^_^=
either way it happened it doesn't matter, i get to spend the rest of my life with the most amazing man in the world! i love him to freakin death!!!