• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Just Engaged and Proposals

freshly engaged, slightly overwhelmed, very in <3

hello all!

i am freshly engaged (this weekend, the 21st--) he wanted to surprise me, and he really did. i am excited to start planning, but still kind of amazed that it's happening. yes, that's how surprised i was!

i am already kind of stressed about the planning because we want to get married in 2013,  aiming for june or september-- (he wants me to pick the date but he said "the sooner the better!" & i agree-- i don't want this to take over too much of my life, personally.) both my (divorced) mom and dad want to help with the planning (& paying), which is great, but it's a lot of people to please. pleasing FI and myself is going to be compromise enough! i think i need to make myself a small poster that reads "you can't please everyone" and hang it over my desk--

any tips on not panicking? i am good at planning things, but i've never planned something on this level. i think the best thing i've read so far is "plan it together"-- i will start there!

OH AND THE RING:

my ring is beautiful and it fit perfectly-- another surprise! i have to admit, when i imagined this happening, i was always materialistically worried that i wouldn't like my ring as much as if i had picked it out, but i was COMPLETELY wrong. it's perfect for me, and i don't think i could have picked a better one. it's an antique, it's unique, and i love him for knowing i'd love it.

my avatar is my ring, but here's a closer-up... 



kajs

kajs Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: freshly engaged, slightly overwhelmed, very in <3

  • CONGRATS! Your ring in beautiful!!  I am right there with ya sista! Just got engaged and I also have not secretly planned out my wedding lol! The best advice I have gotten is to politely listen to all the "help" and "advice", thank them, and then do what the two of you want. It's y'all's day. To me that doesn't mean don't comprimise on anything, but try to figure out what is really important to you and stick to your guns on those things at least. My personal "should I sweat this test" is whether or not I think I will remember it in 5 years. If not, I will listen to suggestions. Also I am talking to wedding planners even though my wedding is in Oct 2013. I don't try to do my own taxes . . . Why should I think I can event plan? They have made this seem ALOT more manageable.

    At the end of the day . . . You're GETTING MARRIED! YAY!! Everything else is just a big party.
  • Congrats!!! I also got engaged end of June. Also trying to please my divorced family, his parents, my overly involved brother and sister-in-law. I felt like there was no room for mine/his opinions as questions rolled through (such as: would my 15 year old half brother be a groomsmen)... My mom: "He better be or else he'll feel like hes not part of the family.... you would be drawing a line in the sand"

    Best advice that I read too late: When anyone asks you ANYTHING (bridal party, dates, location), reply "I am just so happy to be engaged, I haven't thought about that yet". DONT make people feel like their opinions matter. Smile and nod. Do not discuss the wedding with anyone whose opinion you don't want, because this will encourage them to give their opinion 

    The fewer the opinions the better!! I nearly stopped talking to my mom over the half brother in bridal party issue.
  • kimannjosouthkimannjosouth member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited July 2012
    THANKS to both of you for your advice! very helpful, especially because i was so surprised at the proposal, and hadn't thought about much in advance... like how to deal with these types of issues!
    =/ I'm sorry you're having pressure-issues as well! I spoke to FI about it, and he was very reassuring and nice and said if my dad wanted to give me a hard time, let him talk to him about it-- my dad can give ME a hard time, but i know he really likes FH, so his TONE will be different, and I'll be able to see how much pressure he actually is putting, if that makes sense?
    thanks for the advice, and i am sure that you and your mom will work things out. mom-daughter relationships, i think, can be more difficult than guys understand! your response idea is a really good one, and i will take it up, for sure. i think bringing FI into the it might work, too, "i haven't thought about that yet, i'll need to talk to ____ about it! thanks" siyanora.

    In Response to Re: freshly engaged, slightly overwhelmed, very in <3:
    [QUOTE]Congrats!!! I also got engaged end of June. Also trying to please my divorced family, his parents, my overly involved brother and sister-in-law. I felt like there was no room for mine/his opinions as questions rolled through (such as: would my 15 year old half brother be a groomsmen)... My mom: "He better be or else he'll feel like hes not part of the family.... you would be drawing a line in the sand" Best advice that I read too late: When anyone asks you ANYTHING (bridal party, dates, location), reply "I am just so happy to be engaged, I haven't thought about that yet". DONT make people feel like their opinions matter. Smile and nod. Do not discuss the wedding with anyone whose opinion you don't want, because this will encourage them to give their opinion  The fewer the opinions the better!! I nearly stopped talking to my mom over the half brother in bridal party issue.
    Posted by jillyan06[/QUOTE]
    kajs Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Congrats - enjoy your engagement! Don't get overly worried on wedding planning. Give yourself plenty of time so you can relax!
    Daring to dream a bigger dream
  • My mom isn't too overbearing about our wedding but FI's mom is a little. A family friend gave hilarious/great advice for parents of the bride & groom that she got from a friend.

    "Smile, shut up, and write a cheque."

    lol I love it!

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards