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Just Engaged and Proposals

Guest list question...what do you think?

Morning, all!  I am new here!  My fiance and I just got engaged over the holidays, and one of the first things we are doing is compiling a list of guests.  I used to be friends with a fairly large group of girls, but over the last year or two, we drifted apart.  We speak on occasion via social networking sites online, but that's about it.  Should I invite them to my wedding, even if I think they won't come?  What would you do?

Re: Guest list question...what do you think?

  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2009

    I had a few friends like that.  They were sort of 'b' list for me.  I did not send them a STD.  By the time invites went out I invited some, not others based on our relationship at the time  the invites went out  (I had a 15 month engagement.  things change during that time.)

    Not sending them an STD allowed me to make the choice closer to the wedding, not 9 months out.

    edit - I sent the invites all at the same time.  I did not 'b' list them in the sense that I waited to get declines in order to invite them.

    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I agree with the PP.
  • I did something similar to Lynda--we only sent STDs to family, and then made decisions on friends later.

    Whatever you do, be consistent within circles. If you send STDs to half of a group of friends and then later decide to invite the other half, that could get weird.
  • Do you have the room and budget for them if they show up? I think I'm the only person who is actually not trying to cut the guest list - I'm trying to add to my list. So for me, I'd invite them on the off-chance they want to come. If your budget is a little tight, I wouldn't bother.

    It also depends if you want to rekindle the relationships or think it is probably best to let them die.
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  • In my opinion your wedding is for your family and friends. If these girls really aren't your friends anymore, it seems like  a reach to invite them. Not to mention once you get your guest list built up, you may want to be cutting people to stick to a budget. My sister invited everyone she ever made contact with, I'm only inviting the people I consider myself to be good friends with and our guest list is in need of being cut already at over 150. If you never think of them outside of emailing them on your social networking site, I dont think you should invite them. But as someone above stated, if you are inviting half of the people from that circle, it might get awkward not to invite the other half.

    You could wait until you figure out your budget since every guest costs $$! And see where you stand.
  • I agree with msmrymac, look at your budget and decide based on that. 
  • I agree, msmrymac has good points. 
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