Newly engaged and inlaws

pigletteshaw

I am recently engaged. less than a week. WE are both in our late 30's early 40's first marriage for both of us. We told our prespective families each. My parents were happy his family seemed well ok. I am surrpised that his sister or his mom haven't called to to congratulate me presonally. Am I just being overly sensitive or is this a snub? I have never been through this before.

future-mrs

First of all Congrats and welcome to the board.  Secondly, always keep this in mind: Only you will be the most excited about your wedding.  Some may not seem as excited as you would like them to be...that's just the way it goes.

[Deleted User]

Piglet...the same thing happened to me.  I second the PP.  Be happy for you and your FI, and ENJOY this time.  Dont let them get to you.  Celebrate with those who are excited for you!   Congrats!!

quotequeen

I'm not sure why you would expect them to call you.  I would never expect that, so I wasn't disappointed when my ILs didn't call me.  And they seem perfectly happy with our engagement.

MuchkinsRCool

I have been going through the same thing with Shawn's mother. He told her almost a week after we got engaged and she said absoutly nothing. She has never said congrats or anythnig and has only a few details about the wedding. She is so focused on herself and how her marriaged ended that she doesn't want to see her son get married. The only thing I can tell you is to try and not let it bother you. This is very difficult. But if you spend to much time thinking about why his family hasn't said anything to you, you will end up stressing youself so thin that it won't be fun anymore. (I trying to undo the stress that has been caused by his family)

BrenAndJo

PIglette- totally understand- it sucks.  It doesn't matter if it's not technically 'expected' but you want those close to you, especially the parents, to be as overjoyed as you are.  I'm having a similar issue with my own parents When I called my Dad he responded with "Oh that's great.  By the way, I found out who came in 1st place for that 5K you ran last night."   My mom said congrats and all that, but after that anything I have said about the wedding or engagement she brushes off or even acts annoyed that I'm talking about it.  She has ZERO interest and doesn't seem thrilled to have to deal with all this 'wedding stuff'. 

Don't forget thier reactions might be due to other things too-afraid of losing their 'baby', financial worries for a wedding, shifts in family or other things in their own lives. Point of all of this is-it sucks, there is nothing you can do to change it but you are not alone. 

AmandalovesAl

People all react differently.  Do you have a good relationship with FILs? If you do, then maybe they just don't think that way and I wouldn't be too upset.  If you don't, then there ya go.  Just be happy that you are engaged and enjoy the happiness with your FI.

agrenham

Congrats on the engagement! 

At least they aren't openly against the marriage. Just give them some time to get used to the idea and as long as you are on good terms with them, I'm sure it will be fine. 

Maybe they aren't thinking about it as much as you are, they might be excited but just not showing it the way you expect them to. 

Enjoy being engaged and hopefully things will get better!