Just Engaged and Proposals

dilemma...

long story short, I got engaged a few months ago, my best friend and I were having issues yet I still asked her to be my moh (after her mom made a comment so I felt a little forced to ask her to be moh).  me and the bff dont talk at all for about three months and might hang out for the first time again in a couple of days.  In these last couple months I have thought about not having an moh and just having bridesmaids or having my 16 year old cousin (we're really close) be the moh.  I dont know what to say to the bff especially because I dont want to like demote her but at the same time, a lot has changed in these last couple of months...suggestions?

Re: dilemma...

  • I think now that you've already asked her, you're stuck with her.  Asking her to step down or telling her that you've changed your mind will only ruin the friendship.  If you really want to stay friends with her and try to mend whatever it is that's going on between you two, just let it go and keep her as your MOH.  Focus on the friendship and getting it back on track, not the wedding or a title.
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  • I am having one of the same problems with my bridesmaids. She was one of my best friends when we first got engaged and now we almost never speak. I think the last time I talked to her in person was 4 months ago. I really regret asking people to be in the bridal party too soon but I am not going to take her out of the party.
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  • thank you!  It makes me feel better than someone else is going through the same thing. 
  • My bff/BM and I had a huge fight that ended with us not speaking to each other, and I regretted asking her. However, we are working on repairing on friendship (completely outside of the wedding, we haven't even mentioned if she still wants to be in it) and things are improving.

    IF you still want to remain friends with her, try to improve the friendship and keep her in the wedding.

    If it's a friendship that feels like is over, talk to her, ask her to step down.
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  • If you still want to remain friends, do not kick her out of the bridal party.  If you don't even care about your friendship anymore, then feel free to do whatever you want.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:cfcbb7ac-228b-41e7-adbd-198a81ff0bcbPost:a2e6bf1a-dbc8-42e3-9500-287117bf6412">Re: dilemma...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think now that you've already asked her, you're stuck with her.  Asking her to step down or telling her that you've changed your mind will only ruin the friendship.  If you really want to stay friends with her and try to mend whatever it is that's going on between you two, just let it go and keep her as your MOH.  Focus on the friendship and getting it back on track, not the wedding or a title.
    Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

    This.

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  • I agree with pp. If you asked her already and you want to maintain the friendship, keep her in. If you don't care and are willing to let the friendship go, then give her the boot! Just make sure if you re kicking her out that you are sure you don't mind ending your friendship with her...forever, I'm sure.

    Good luck!
  • Maybe try to make a time to hang out with hair and work on patching things up, if not for your sanity as a bride then at least for the sake of your friendship. I know I have a few friends that I lose touch with every now and then but when we hang out we click so well that we put more effort into seeing each other more often. Good luck!
  • I say give her the boot. You have enough stress as a bride, you dont need your MOF stressing you out.
  • Perhaps you could have two MOH? that way you could honor your cousin as well as your friend. I do agree that once you've asked her you're pretty much stuck with her, that is unless she totally neglects your needs, doesn't mention or inquire anything about your wedding, etc. A good MOH checks in! Maybe you should ask if she's too busy to fulfill her duties-kick her that way if you're really opposed to the idea of going through with it....
  • Well, I sort of understand where you're coming from. I asked my bridesmaids very shortly after being engaged (like 1.5 weeks to be precise) and about a week later, I realized that I did not include someone that I should have, and did include someone that I shouldn't have.  However, I cannot add any more (as there are already too many) and I can't ask someone to step down unless I want to ruin the friendship.  So I have chosen to keep her in and let it go.  However, she is not my MOH.  If you truly want to have your cousin as your MOH but don't want to hurt the other, the simple fix is to have TWO MOH's!  You can do whatever you want, it's your wedding... however I wouldn't advise asking her to step down unless you don't want her as a friend anymore!
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