Tips on telling Family

ekilzer1

My fiance and I are going home to my parents house this weekend to tell them about our engagement.

My parents love my fiance and both of my sister-in-laws (who are like my sisters) have told me they have never seen me happier. I am just worried about my parents saying one if not all of the below:

1. You are too young (my fiance is 24, I am 23. We are hoping to wed in Nov. 2011 in which case we will both by 25.

2. It is too soon. (We have been together a year)

3. We cannot afford a wedding right now (My fiance and I want to contribute to the wedding, after all it is a day to celebrate our life together "beginning", however I am finishing up my last semester in college, and he just got out of the military and is now in school. We are doing our best to save, but realistically don't know how much we could contribute). 

I want my parents to be excited for us! I have never been so sure about anything in my life, I want to spend the rest of my life with this man. But I have hardly had a chance to enjoy our engagement because I am so nervous about telling my parents! Maybe I am just totally over thinking this? 

I have no idea how to tell them about the engagement: I don't just wanna walk in and flash the ring!!!

Thanks!

frenchy730

<span style="color:#000000;font-family:Times;font-size:medium;line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span"><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;-webkit-background-clip:initial;-webkit-background-origin:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;">1.  You are not "too young" in my opinion.  25 is a perfectly normal age to me married, as long as you are both ready to be married.<div>2.  Honestly, no one can judge this but the two people in the relationship.  Different couples work on different time lines.</div><div>3.  I hope you're not going into this discussion with the mindset that they will be paying for your wedding.  Did they tell you that they would at any point?  I would telling them that you are being responsible adults and saving up over the next year to pay for the wedding that you can afford (and then actually do that)  If they decide to say they will help, great, if not go ahead with the plan and plan for a wedding YOU and YOUR FIANCE can pay for.</div></div></span>[QUOTE]! I have never been so sure about anything in my life, I want to spend the rest of my life with this man. But I have hardly had a chance to enjoy our engagement because I am so nervous about telling my parents! Maybe I am just totally over thinking this?  
Posted by ekilzer1[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>And tell your parents that up there.  You'll be fine.  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

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future-mrs

Totally agree with Frenchy.  Congrats and GL with the parents!

ekilzer1

Thank you for the advice.  And certainly, I do not have the mindset that my parent's will pay for the entire wedding. As I said, it is OUR (my fiance and I's) wedding, not my parents. 

How do I go about brining it up in conversation? 

We are driving to their house tomorrow night and will not get in till nearly 2 in the morning... so I will not see my parents until the AM. As I said I feel super awkward going up to my mother in the morning and flashing the ring, but we are definitely not the family to sit down and have one of those "Folgers Coffee Moments." My Mom is one of my best friends: it has been KILLING me not to tell her over the phone, but I really want it to be a special moment for our family, so I have resisted so I can tell her in person. I am going to EXPLODE!!!  (My fiance has had the ring since early May and actually proposed 2 weeks ago.... that is over a month of me not saying a word to my family about this!!!! AHHHHHH)

loop0406

Maybe they will notice the ring and it will be brought up that way.........?

frogurt814

I pretty much just flashed the ring at my mom and waited for her to notice it.  It took a few minutes.   When FI and I went to tell my dad, my dad was outside when we got there, and I just said "Dad! I'm getting married!"  and that was that.

Good luck and congrats.

botticelliangel6

My parents were exstatic and we're your age (I was 23 and he was 24 when we got engaged, I'll be 24 and he'll be 25 when we get married).  But, we've also been together 5 years.  I wouldnt worry too much until it happens!

 And as for telling them, I got everyone together and just said "there was reason we wanted to come up this weekend....he asked me to marry him a few days ago".   Simple and straightfoward :-)

ekilzer1

Thank you everyone!!!! It went so well.... as i said my Mom is my best friend and i had been dropping subtle hints since i got the ring two weeks ago. So her and I were sitting at the kitchen table this morning and I said, "You know Ricky and I didn't  just come home to help you finish up stuff around the house" (my parents are moving). My mom's response: " I knew it! Let me see" (as she reached for my left hand)

Thanks everyone!! Soo happy I can FINALLY officially announce it to everyone!!!

fallingwater

Sometimes just walking in and flashing the ring is just the best to it.  No reason to try and dance around the idea.  Right after you announcei t, just tell them that you're both smart and you've thought about the consequences and how you're planning on funding such and extraordinary event.  Budget Brides can get this stuff done in under $10000 depending on your guest list, etc.  And you've got over a year of you working.  Don't know where you're planning on living, but if I were you I would def create a budget for your finances in general, not necessarily for the wedding.  You'll need to create a budget of your income versus expenditures and wher eyou can cut corners.  You guys seem happy, so I'm sure there isn't anything you can't handle.  Good luck honey!

kaylenelizabeth

I feel you girl, I'm 24 and future FI is 27, and here I am thinking we are too young or that it's too soon (together 7 months, but most wonderful 7 months of my life and my family loves him and I'm told his family loves me).....

But you know what?  We're adults, and able to make our own good decisions.  I honestly think a lot of parents would rather have their kid in a good relationship of marriage than a good relationship of living in sin.

I would at least....my son better make his future girlfriend an honest woman if he wants to live with her!  (I say that now at 18 mos lol)

num1kj

Congrats on your engagement!!  If you are looking for an amazing wedding officiant for your wedding, go to http://www.the-weddingofficiant.com You will be amazed with their services.