FMIL wants "her own shower"

Michelle_G

Ok, so I'm not getting married until Aug 2010, but FMIL has dropped the shower talk on me already. She has decided that she wants to host her own shower for her friends so that I can "get to know them before the wedding". This is absurd to me! I don't think I'm going to be able to sit and share personal stories at a shower... am I wrong? Not to mention this will be my THIRD shower planned. WTF?! 3 showers?! My dad's fam is huge (he is 1/16 kids) so that is one shower, then my friends and BM's is shower #2, and now FMIL throws this at me. Is it wrong to ignore her request for the time being since this is really not a priority for me right now? I literally get nauseous at the thought of 2 showers, let alone 3! YIKES!

ennaerb80

I think you have to bite the bullet and take this one for the team (you and your future husband).  She may get offended for declining her offer, and it's not worth causing tension....afterall, it's a shower for you guys.  I only had two showers and the thougt of three would have sounded ridiculous to me too, but plenty of brides do it and since none of the same people would be at this one, just go for it.  I think a 3rd shower with some of the same people would be over the top.

Michelle_G

Ugh, that was what I was afraid of!! I'm totally appreciative of the fact that the shower is for us. I'm just not someone who likes a lot of fuss. FMIL and her girl's get together every Tue night for drinks... I suggested that I join in on that a few times before the big day, but that didn't seem to go over so well. I just thought I'd be able to actually chat with them more in that type of setting. It seems so far away to worry about this stuff, but I guess I need to address it soon. FUDGE!

ennaerb80

To make it more comfortable for you to converse with them at the shower, maybe you could suggest that you always wanted a wine tasting type of shower, where all of the attendees bring their favorite brand of wine to share...something that involves drinking, might loosen you up for talking more : ) I don't like a lot of fuss either and I also don't like to be the center of attention while opening gifts, so my MOH did a wine tasting party for my 1st bridal shower.  She had an actual lady come to the house (like a toy party or jewlery party type of business).  It was fun.

Michelle_G

OMG!! That's an amazing idea, and right up FMIL's alley! That would be perfect! You are a God sent! I'll throw that idea out there and see how it goes. Fingers Crossed!

ennaerb80

Hahaha, that's why we're all here.  Glad I could help

Noron

Yeah, I'd go along with it.  PP's suggestion was great - a wine tasting sounds super fun!  Not too "shower-y" if that makes sense.And listen, it could be worse - your FMIL could be trying to throw you a lingerie shower with all your FI's female family members.  No, seriously.  This is happening to me.I hope your FMIL bites at the wine tasting!

jess&lane52804

Not every bride gets a shower, so even though 3 is shower overload, please enjoy it! Think on the bright side: more showers = more gifts!

Michelle_G

HA! Noron, I would literally die if my FMIL came to me with that!! That's totally something she would think was "cute"???? Good Luck, Girl!

Noron

Haha, thanks!  I wish I could talk her into the wine thing, too!  Let us know if your FMIL goes for it!

Ainslie325

I'm sorry-- your future mother in law, the future grandmother of your future children, wants to throw your a shower? She wants you to get to meet some of the guests that will be at your wedding in advance as they shower you with gifts? I'm sorry, but I think you can handle the inconvenience of getting to know them. Many people have multiple showers-- if she'd like to throw one, it might save the other from being overly huge and drawn out. You don't need to "share personal stories," but I don't think making polite small talk and making people's acquaintance is too much to ask given what they're goign to be doing for you and your fiance. Sometimes, pre-wedding parties are just as much about our families as they are about us. I would tell your FMIL that another shower is absolutely not expected. If she insists, graciously accept, and step outside your comfort zone a little bit and meet her friends. She wants to do something nice for you; take it in the spirit intended. I speak from experience here; I just did the same thing at a shower my FMIL's friends threw for me three weeks ago. I was nervous, but it was lovely.