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Under-ager

Ok ladies, I am having a little bit of drama with the bridesmaids about my b-party. We are going out downtown to several bars/clubs and I found out that my 18 year old cousin, who is a bridesmaid, is planning on going. I assumed she wasn't going, but she was bragging to my parents about her fake ID and they don't have a problem withher going out. Um, I went to undergrad in the city and I did not get into many places with my fake. My sister wants to plan the night around where my cousin can get in. Am I the only one who thinks it is not a good idea to have her tag along? I am worried about the night ending early or us not being about to go to my favorite places. Many of the other bridesmaids think she shouldn't come, but don't want to involve themselves in "family issues". What do you all think?

Re: Under-ager

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    edited December 2011
    If you are going to multiple places for your b-party, could you plan the beginning of the night around places your under age sister can attend, then go to some 21+ at the end.  That way she gets to be part of the party, but you can still go to some of your favorite places.
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    edited December 2011
    I like Sara's idea. Go somewhere she can go on her real id early and then go to some 21+ things later.

    But I am a fraidy cat and wouldn't want to spend the night of my bachelorette party in jail/bailing my cousin out of jail.
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    aimers1525aimers1525 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto to Sara. I planned my friend's bach. party and her sister was 17 at the time. We did a lingerie/drinks in a hotel room first and then went to dinner at Theory (a bar on Hubbard).  She was allowed to come to Theory as long as it was before nine or ten I think.  The rest of us went to bars after that.
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    abinzabinz member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It's your night do what you want but try to explain it nicely to your cousin.  I agree with the other ladies that you could go out to eat or something like that before and have her come to that. 

    Good luck!
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    hz80408hz80408 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I agree with pps.

    Another idea, although I think it seems like you have a plan, would be to get a trolley.  They start around $500 for 3 hrs but are BYOB.  Your cousin could think drink with you girls and you could still stop into bars...but she'd have to just chill by herself. Eek, maybe not a good idea.
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    edited December 2011
    She (underage cousin) still insists on going to the bars and my sister keeps re-inforcing it. Here is the plan thus far: we have a hotel (I am assuming games etc...) and we are all planning on going to dinner, so she can go to all of that, but she thinks she is just older than she is. She isn't like, getting it. I wish another adult would step in and say something. One bridesmaid just had the idea of inviting the mom's and aunts to dinner so therefore (hopefully) my aunt (her mom) will be like, um, no you're coming home with me. Ugh. Issues.
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    stephasuasustephasuasu member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    She will be able to come to the hotel and dinner at least! Do not plan any bars around her, there is NO guarantee that she will get in, even if they are easy on ID's. She is being risky by trying to get in anywhere with a fake, but that decision is up to her. Don't plan your bars around her. I once went out with a group of 21 year olds when I was 20, and I was busted. A night in the drunk tank is no fun!
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    edited December 2011
    I totally don't want her coming to bars, but she will not take no for an answer! This is getting to be quite intense.
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    MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Using a fake ID has much stronger consequences today as opposed to pre 9/11 because it is now under the jurisdiction of the Homeland Security Act.......

    . But here’s a breakdown of the consequences if you get caught with a fake ID in Illinois:
    The bottom line is that if you’re caught using a fake ID, you’re facing at least a $500 fine.
    Trying to pass somebody else’s real ID off as your own is a misdemeanor which can result in up to $2,500 in fines and up to one year in jail. Possessing a completely fraudulent ID is a Class 4 felony and can result in up to $2,500 in fines and up to three years in jail. Also, if you are a resident of Illinois, your real driver’s license can be suspended for up to one year. (This law applies to any underage drinking, with or without a fake ID.)
    The true spirit of these penalties is to prevent people from fraudulently getting credit cards. Sometimes fake ID possession is reported as a violation of a city ordinance, which won’t go on your criminal record—but much larger penalties can and often do apply.

    Often, once one person in a party is caught trying to use a fake ID, the entire party is denied access into the venue.  Do you see yourself abandoning all plans at that point?  Do you honestly see yourself putting just the underage cousin in a cab and sending her home or back to a hotel?  Honestly.....either plan an alcohol free evening, or be firm on when and how the cousin has to separate herself from the remainder of the activities.  I can't believe your Aunt would be fine with her daughter taking such chances.
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    jbll326jbll326 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would make sure your sister (and your aunt) knows how vehemently opposed you are to the cousin coming to the bar portion of the evening due to the severe consequences it can have on her, you, and the rest of the group. This is your one and only bachelorette party - you should not have to settle on an agenda just because your cousin can get in to the bars.

    I would ask your sister (or whoever is planning the BP - this shouldn't be put on you) to apologize to your cousin and say that we're really torn up about this, but this night is about celebrating Alayna and we want to make sure it's a joyful, fun night without any drama and we just can't risk sneaking you in and hoping you don't get caught. But we can't wait to celebrate with you at the hotel and over dinner!!

    I'm assuming your cousin is using her fake ID in some midwest college town - she needs to be reminded that downtown Chicago is not nearly as lenient with that as Champaign or Bloomington or wherever. Your B Party is not the time/place to test out the bouncers of Chicago...
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks for all of the advice ladies. This is a difficult situation, but I will for sure use a lot of what was said here!
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    edited December 2011
    One of our friends also told me that if a bar gets caught allowing an underaged person to enter and drink, even if the person has a fake idea, the bar could lose its liquor license.  To me, It just wouldn't be worth all the risks PPs have stated, plus this.
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    edited December 2011
    I think you've done all you can do to let your sister and your cousin know how you feel.  If your cousin insists on trying to use her fake id to get into bars, it's ultimately her problem if she gets caught.  At this point I think you should step back and let her do what she wants to do.  If she gets busted, it's her fault, not yours.
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    edited December 2011
    Yeah, it's just that the rest of the party will not be welcome if there is an underager in the group. I can't guarantee that she will be last in line everytime, you know? This is so complicated!
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