Illinois-Chicago

anyone do the "first look" and did you have any reservations about it?

I have said from day one that I don't want to see my FI before the ceremony, but now that we are 2 months away, I am re-thinking this.  I think that it would make our lives so much easier if we saw eachother before, and would give us so much more time to mingle with guests during cocktail hour instead of doing pictures the whole time (we are having ceremony & reception at one location).  But, I feel like that moment when FI sees me at the other end of the aisle for the first time is so special! 

Did anyone have the same feelings?  What did you end up doing and how do you feel about your decision?  I'm just afraid of regretting my decision.

TIA girls :)

Re: anyone do the "first look" and did you have any reservations about it?

  • edited December 2011

    We did.  Initially, I wanted to preserve that "first look" for when he saw me at the top of the aisle, but logistically (with pictures) this couldn't happen.  I wanted photos of my husband and I outdoors by the water, and we were married in January.  If we'd waited until after our ceremony, the sun would have already set.  It was no less emotional for either of us, and we don't feel like we forfeited anything by seeing each other before the ceremony.  In fact, going down to the water with our photog was wonderful time for the two of us to be together-- I liked it, and we have some wonderful pictures to show for it. 

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    Wedding Date: January 16th, 2010

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    Cycle #5: BFP on June 14, 2011 -- Due Date: February 23, 2012 -- Born: February 26, 2012
  • edited December 2011
    I plan on doing it and really wouldn't do it any other way....I have heard of photographers who require you to do the first look ahead of time.  They said then you actually remember walking down the aisle during the ceremony better.  And personally, I know FI will help calm down my nerves before hand, so I can't wait to see him!  
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  • edited December 2011
    we're doing all our pics before the ceremony so we're going to be together for several hours before the ceremony. i think it will really help calm my nerves and i'm soooo not a traditionalist either so it really doesn't matter to me about the whole "not seeing the bride before the wedding" thing.
  • edited December 2011
    My photgrapher is my cousin and I trust him completely, he is firm believer about doing photos beforehand.  He said the quality of pictures are always better, there is so much rushing after the ceremony to get going and things always tend to late.  Also he said they are better because you usually get a lot of the jitters out of the way.  Now that being said, I still go back and forth about it but if we weren't getting pics done beforehand we would have to miss cocktail hour and we are spending way too much time and money to not spend every single minute with our guests!  But I am a traditionalist at heart.  But I think I will enjoy that special time together before the ceremony together!
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  • edited December 2011
    My friends were the first people I've ever known to do this.  I thought they were crazy to break tradition.. but my FI was a GM and was telling me how much better it was.

    They got to spend more of the day together and had a chance to really talk to each other and tell each other how excited they were to be getting married.

    FI and I are definitely doing it for our wedding and I know I will love having him around to call my nerves.
  • edited December 2011
    I had reservations at first, but the wedding is in Dec and post ceremony it will be VERY dark. I am looking forward to having a special moment with the FI captured on photo before walking down the aisle. He is much calmer than I am and I know he will make me feel more comfortable before having to actually walk down the aisle. I am so happy to get all the pictures completed so I can enjoy the cocktail hour and those wonderul hors d' oeuvres that took so many months to pick out.

    GOOD LUCK! Go with what you want. It's certainly not required, but it's going to lift a lot of stress off my shoulders on the wedding day by spreading things out.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm kinda meh about first looks.

     I feel like once you see each other, all of that built up excitement and anticipation of the day is gone. And I think that the time before the ceremony is a special time for the bride, the brides mother, and bridal party to share together as you are the only ones who get to see the bride.

    And what does your bridal party do while you and FI are off taking pics together? I would assume they are all dressed and ready and just standing around watching and waiting? 

    I can see how if you are having your reception and ceremony back to back at the same place, then it might make sense to do pics beforehand, but to me, it just takes away from all the excitement leading up to walking down the aisle. 

    Whatever you choose, it will work out fine! My FI was dead set on not seeing me prior, so I wouldn't have had a choice anyway! 
  • edited December 2011
    <strong>In Response to </strong><a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_illinois-chicago_anyone-first-look-did-reservations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:72Discussion:475f05f3-2a11-42cc-b040-cfa698712cd9Post:2dff3aab-2db2-4489-a8a1-e7e4d6ae175e"><strong>Re: anyone do the</strong></a><strong>:
    [QUOTE]I'm kinda meh about first looks.  I feel like once you see each other, all of that built up excitement and anticipation of the day is gone. And I think that the time before the ceremony is a special time for the bride, the brides mother, and bridal party to share together as you are the only ones who get to see the bride. And what does your bridal party do while you and FI are off taking pics together? I would assume they are all dressed and ready and just standing around watching and waiting?  I can see how if you are having your reception and ceremony back to back at the same place, then it might make sense to do pics beforehand, but to me, it just takes away from all the excitement leading up to walking down the aisle.  Whatever you choose, it will work out fine! My FI was dead set on not seeing me prior, so I wouldn't have had a choice anyway! 
    Posted by Annie_Warbucks[/QUOTE]
    </strong>
    THIS.
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  • edited December 2011
    So let's assume your FI and you see each other before the ceremony. Are you not going to look just as beautiful during the ceremony? Yes. Is he going to stand there and be bored and check his watch? No. He will think you are gorgeous and getting to see you will be excting for him. But I am a big fan of first looks because you get better pictures and you look fresher and are more relaxed during the ceremony.

    Annie, the bridal party does photos too if you do a first look (if you want). Even if you don't do a first look, what do they normally do while pictures are going on? The weddings I was in we stood around and waited for when it was our turn.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_illinois-chicago_anyone-first-look-did-reservations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:72Discussion:475f05f3-2a11-42cc-b040-cfa698712cd9Post:f62b26d0-004b-4870-9026-110eb7d08099">Re: anyone do the "first look" and did you have any reservations about it?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>So let's assume your FI and you see each other before the ceremony. Are you not going to look just as beautiful during the ceremony? Yes. Is he going to stand there and be bored and check his watch? No. He will think you are gorgeous and getting to see you will be excting for him</strong>. But I am a big fan of first looks because you get better pictures and you look fresher and are more relaxed during the ceremony. <strong>Annie, the bridal party does photos too if you do a first look (if you want). Even if you don't do a first look, what do they normally do while pictures are going on? The weddings I was in we stood around and waited for when it was our turn.</strong>
    Posted by MrsMLRB[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I don't disagree with any of this. I am saying from my stand point, as the bride, the anticipation and excitement of waiting to see HIM will be gone if I see him hours before the ceremony. </div><div>
    </div><div>And I thought the first look was the first look of the bride and groom only? And I know for us, after the ceremony we are doing pics with the bridal party first, and then they are free to go join the cocktail hour while we do our one on one pics, so there won't be any waiting around for them. </div><div>
    </div><div>

    </div>
  • lawhitedlawhited member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    For me, first looks really aren't my style.  Not that I believe in the bad luck superstition or anything (not superstitious at all, in fact) I just want to have that moment that I've always - personally - envisioned. 

    That being said, that's just my decision.  I say if it works for you and would be easier on your timeline then by all means do it -- especially if it will relieve any stress you may have on your big day.

    (Although I'm not sure I buy the statement(s) that you'll get better/higher quality pictures out of it -- your pictures will be great regardless).

    Good luck with your decision!!  Either way you will have your moment and it will be perfect!!
  • raeynraeyn member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I spent most of the day with my bridesmaids and mom getting ready, and then in the afternoon DH and I had our first look. Our wedding party waited with him at the bottom of the stairs as I came down. It was a really wonderful moment and I was really happy that when I saw him for the first time I could hug and kiss him right away. I don't think I would have had the willpower to wait until the end of the ceremony! Once we had our moment, everyone got into the limo and we went to take pictures.

    After the wedding party photos, DH and I separated for about 45 minutes before the ceremony, during which time I touched up hair and makeup, put on my veil (which DH hadn't seen yet), and got ready for the walk down the aisle. I was glad we did it this way because I got to spend more of my wedding day with DH, we got great outdoor photos, we got to spend cocktail hour with our guests, and the sense of anticipation and excitement for DH seeing me walk down the aisle was still very strong. I highly recommend doing a first look, but it is of course a personal choice.
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  • jbll326jbll326 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Even though we had ceremony and reception in the same place, we did not do the first look and I'm so glad we didn't. The moment I walked down the aisle was incredibly special and full of anticipation and was exactly what both of us had always dreamed of.  We are both traditional (not superstitious) and neither of us could fathom seeing each other before that moment.

    If getting enough pictures is the only thing you're worried about, don't. We still got amazing pictures during cocktail hour with our entire BP and families and still managed to have plenty of time to spend with our guests and eat all the apps and drink all the champagne we wanted. We took a half hour during the dancing part of the reception to take some more pictures of just the 2 of us, which was just fine because I needed a dancing break anyway! 

    It's truly all a matter of preference and whatever you decide to do will be fine. I have plenty of friends that have done the first look and were very glad they did. We had talked about it at length and we decided that we weren't about to sacrifice a moment that we both had anticipated our whole lives and thought would be incredibly special and memorable just so we could have some more pictures in addition to the hundreds taken that night. Just talk to your FI about what's most important to both of you

  • edited December 2011
    Thank you all for your input, it's much appreciated!  I am going to talk with my photographer and see what they think about times, etc.  FI says he doesn't care either way but thinks it will be much easier to do the first look. 
  • MsBunny312MsBunny312 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think every couple should do what is right for them. For some its better to see each other first walking down the aisle, others its before the ceremony.

    And not to stir the kettle, but I can't believe anyone would think all the excitement and ancipation will be gone after you see each other before the ceremony. That sounds like you are only excited to dress up and see each other dressed up. I mean, yeah that's cool. But I'm much more excited about the moment we are officially married than what our first look will be like. The WHOLE day will be exciting. Seeing the other person before the ceremony won't lessen any of it. (If it does...well...)
  • edited December 2011
    We had our ceremony and reception together so if we didn't do a first look, we would have foreited taking pictures at a lot of the landmarks that we love. The only other way to do it would have been to have our ceremony hours before the reception and have our guests be wandering around for that time. We just didn't want to do that to our friends and family while we were off with our bridal party taking pictures. We have no regrets about the first look and it was so built up and emotional. Something we will never forget.
  • edited December 2011

    I wanted to do the first look, but he insisted that we shouldn't break tradition.  It was one of 3 main things he insisted on, so out of all the decisions, that was fine.  lol.  We then had to get an earlier ceremony time though and between the ceremony and cocktail, it gave plenty of time to take pictures and travel.  When I think about it...I'm glad we did it his way.  I loved walking down that aisle and seeing him for the first time.  He teared up, I teared up, but seeing him made all my nerves go away.  I don't know how I would have felt walking down the aisle after already seeing him. 

  • edited December 2011
    I am having my bridal party take as many pics before hand as possible.... so all the groomsmen and bridesmaids together, Fi and his men, Fi and the girls, Fi and his parents, anyone else important etc. That way its a happy compromise. 
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