Speaking of Showers...

Sparkette19

My mom and my FMIL have offered to co-host my bridal shower. We were all together this weekend and my mom told me that my FMIL asked my mom what she is getting us for a shower gift. My mom was kind of surprised by this question b/c she planned on the shower being her gift to me.

This is my moms' first time being intimately involved in wedding planning so she isn't familar with a lot of etiquette. she asks me a lot of questions, which I don't mind answering for her as long as I'm not involved in the planning aspect. I just don't want my mom to be embarrassed when it comes to her not knowing the way certain things are done.

What is proper etiquette for something like that?

Annie_Warbucks

Huh, I never would have imagined the host wouldn't give a gift. When I have co-hosted showers, it never crossed my mind to NOT give a gift.  Every shower I have ever been to, baby, bridal, whatever, the host has always given a gift. 

I wouldn't expect her, or tell her to give a gift, but I know my mom would feel uncomfortable come gift opening time, if she didn't have anything to contribute to the festivities, even if it was just a card, or a small token gift. 

mandybear7

I've typically seen hosts give gifts.

jbll326

I had mine this weekend. It was officially hosted by my Aunt, but my Mom put just as much into it. I wasn't really expecting gifts from them, but both my Aunt and Mom gave me gifts (too many I think). I think the hostess' of the other showers I've been to have all given gifts. I would think they should not be as generous as if they were just a guest and not hosting, as a shower can cost quite a bit of money!

njohnson0330

I think it is pretty typical for the host to give a gift as well...I have hosted several showers as a bridesmaid and MOH, and still gave a great gift. 

However, I specifically asked my mother NOT to give me a gift...my parents are paying for most of the reception and she also helped me with part of my dress and just don't want her to spend any more money!  We will see if she listens to me or not.  So I see no reason why she has to give you a gift...the shower is a BIG gift in my opinion.

seventiespop

I agree with PP, I think the mother of the bride is the exception to the host-also-gives-a-gift rule.  She's the MOB, she can do whatever she wants!

Allison&Donnie

We actually gave wedding etiquette books to our parents, maid of honor and ourselves right at the beginning, because everyone had so many questions!! That way everyone was somewhat on the same page about 'traditional' etiquette. Although, this IS 2010 and what was once traditional, may not be today. So we all have just used our best judgement and been very open with eachother and everyone about things that we werent sure about.

Showers tend to always cast an array of different opinions on etiquette. And unfortunately, everyone always seems to think 'their etiquette' is correct. When really, theres no 'right' answer to some issues. I say as long as everyone and all decisions are made with thought and respect, there should be no issues.... We'll see how that goes, LOL

MsBunny312

I don't think etiquette dictates a person being required to give a gift in any circumstance. It is up to a person's own discretion whether or not they want to give a gift, so tell your mom it's completely up to her. If I were you I'd emphasize that you are extremely appreciative of the shower and don't expect anything else from her. If she decides to do something on top, then that will be entirely her decision.