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How do I get out of this? Or don't I?

I went to my mom's house on Saturday and in the car at one point throughout the day this song comes on the cd she's playing and she's like "this is the song I picked for your wedding!" with serious tears in her eyes. I'm asking "what do you mean the song you picked?" apparently she thinks we're having a mother/daughter dance which I really don't want to do. my reasoning is I am the only daughter, I have 3 brothers so my mom gets 3 weddings to have the mother/son moment and my wedding is the only time my dad gets to have this type of moment and I don't want to take away from that with a dance with my mom. Plus, I just really don't want to dance with my mom.
How do I bring this up to her? Do I just get over it and dance with her? I can't even tell you the song because I never heard it before! Am I a bad daughter for not wanting this?

Re: How do I get out of this? Or don't I?

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    edited December 2011
    Why does this dance take away from your dads dance? I assume they aren't the same song. Are you really close with your mom?

    I think you should get over it and do it to make her happy. However, I have never seen a mother-daughter dance and I think that would be kind of weird. But she sounds really excited and I just wouldn't want to tell my mom "Sorry mom not going to happen".
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    katiejfrew8katiejfrew8 member
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    edited December 2011
    I've never heard of that either. Can I ask the logistics of this? Is this literally a dance for the two of you, slow and sweet? Is there a way you could incorporate all the female family members there so it would be less awkward, and your dad still feels special (tho I'm pretty sure he's going to feel that way no matter what-you're his little girl!) You could introduce with a special toast of why you're proud to be a woman like her? Let me know?
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    MrsPapsMrsPaps member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    trust me, I don't get it either. which is partly why I don't really want to do it.  My feelings are she gets 3 weddings to have this moment and my dad gets this one time.  I honestly have no idea what I'm going to do. I keep avoiding this with her hoping it will just fall to the wayside.
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    edited December 2011
    Yeah... when I read this earlier I didn't really know what to say.. lol!  In one moment I was like okay really weird, and then I thought okay -- maybe kinda sweet?  But if you dont want to do it, don't.  I see your point too about the weddings with your brother.  Maybe you can think of an alternative...  I dunno what, but theres gotta be somethin!

    As a side note -- got your package in the mail yesterday!  Havent put it to work yet, but THANK YOU mucho mucho mucho! :)
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    MrsPapsMrsPaps member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_illinois-chicago_out-of-this-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:72Discussion:94ca6bf0-e561-4405-822a-1cd78768ad9bPost:c17be7e1-d5d1-437c-83d6-695166319b2c">Re: How do I get out of this? Or don't I?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yeah... when I read this earlier I didn't really know what to say.. lol!  In one moment I was like okay really weird, and then I thought okay -- maybe kinda sweet?  But if you dont want to do it, don't.  I see your point too about the weddings with your brother.  Maybe you can think of an alternative...  I dunno what, but theres gotta be somethin! As a side note -- got your package in the mail yesterday!  Havent put it to work yet, but THANK YOU mucho mucho mucho! :)
    Posted by Love is Bald[/QUOTE]
    I'm glad you got it! I was going to check to see if you did :)

    I think I'm going to avoid the issue and never give the DJ her song or the okay for the dance.
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    truthhurtstruthhurts member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would suggest that you give the DJ the song and sometime during the reception dancing, when there are already plenty of people on the dance floor, just have the DJ play it and maybe make a dedication.  "This song goes out to your mom."  Then it's just a dedication not a planned "special" dance. 
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    edited December 2011

    Hello,

    My name is Angel founder of Eventique Chicago Event planning and design professionals. I suggest you dance with your father as planned and after a little over half the song is over have your DJ or Band switch it up to a more upbeat party song and have your mother escorted to you and dad. That way she is included and it' not so much of a uncomfortable moment.

    Hope this helps please feel free to email me  at eventiquechicago@mail.com
    If this was helpful please join us on facebook and recieve exclusive offers off services.

    Congrats&Cheers,
    Angel R.

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    edited December 2011
    I agree with truth....I think avoiding it altogether is a mistake, and is likely to really hurt your mom's feelings!
    image **Married 7/9/11**
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