What to do?

I feel like I'm going to lose my mind.
I have always been the kind of girl who fantisized about getting married but never had any thoughts about what kind of wedding I wanted. And now that I'm engaged I still have no idea. I know a couple things I want but I'm feeling like my FI is like it's whatever you want, because he only has a few things that he has to have. He thinks he's helping me. And I'm not mad at him, just overwhelmed.

Yesterday we decided that our original wedding date (11/10/11 might be silly because it would be had for everyone to make it so he said we could get maried 11/11/11 or really wheneve we want...grrr)

I have NO idea where I want to have this wedding, and have been looking online at so many places in the area that I feel like I'm going to go crazy. I don't want a big wedding. Just some family and friends. And we are going to only serve h'orderves and cake instead of dinner.

How can I even begin to decide where to have this so I can begin nailing down everything else?

Re: What to do?

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    edited December 2011
    Narrow down city or burbs.

    Are you going to have dancing?Will you have your ceremony and reception at the same location? Those will affect the venue decision.

    I figured out a rough guest list and estimated budget before we looked at venues so we could keep space and cost in mind.
    7/10/10 imageDandy
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    edited December 2011
    Close your eyes and imagine yourself walking down the aisle. Where are you?

    My FI also has stepped back and let me pick whatever I want, and I understand that it is both a blessing and a curse. Sometimes it would be easier if someone would tell me what to pick. Do either of your families have ideas about where the wedding should be? Is there a place that is significant to you both? If you are thinking about a November wedding, think about how it could be freezing cold by then and what kind of venue would keep guests warm. If you are only serving h'orderves and cake, look for places that specialize in that kind of menu. Think about how formal you want the wedding.

    If all else fails you can always consult with a planner.
    Married on 8/7/10 My Bio
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    edited December 2011
    I know the city I want to have it (preferably in the city we live in) and I'm ok with having it in the surrounding area if I don't find any place that I dont like in my home city. We do want to have dancing. I did find a super cute place that I wanted to have the wedding at but he didn't really like it as well as I did. Maybe he'll budge for the banquet to being there instead of both.
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    edited December 2011
    Okay, first of all.. BREATHE. :-)  It can be very overwhelming.  My FI sounds like yours.  I was not one of those girls who had their wedding all planned out for them as they were growing up so I didn't know what I wanted.  I can't afford a wedding planner but if you can, go for it.  If you can't, then just take it one step at a time.  I don't want to say have fun with it (that's what everyone kept telling me).  I didn't think the searching for vendors was fun at all.  You've got a lot of time so just take your time with the research.  These boards (especially the Chicago board with their recommendations) are very helpful. 

    When looking for your venue, just start narrowing it you want it in the suburbs or in the city?  Are you getting married in a church?  If so, it may be best to start with venues somewhat near to the ceremony.  

    Ask lots of questions on here.  All of the ladies will give their input to try and help.
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    edited December 2011
    regarding the whole family helping me plan, his sister said she would help and his mom has been pretty helpful but she's just listened, not really made suggestions. My parents are overly-religious and not very excited about me getting married. Even if they were I would not allow my OCD, control-freak mom to help. LOL

    We did get engaged on Navy Pier and tht would be wonderful but it's going to be cold and that would be wayy to expensive. I know I was interested in a mansion that we have here in the city I live in. I sent them an e-mail to find out information, just waiting a reply but I bet they'll be expensive.
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    HMandKWHMandKW member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with PP - BREATHE.  You will have moments of freak out, but you have so much time.  We got engaged in Feb and are marrying in Sept.  I had a moment where I thought everything was going to be so tacky cuz I didn't know what I was doing, but it has all come together.  Decide on basics at first.  Venue, Colors, dress.  Get a basic idea of the feel: elegant or garden wedding or holiday themed.  Get some basics figured out then start plugging in the pieces.  Since you have so much time, you don't have to commit to many things yet.  You can do research and then see what will work together.

    Hope that helps.  The biggest thing is don't get too stressed.

    Oh, and I found giving FI jobs is good.  I had him research and set appointments with DJs and photographers.  Very specific tasks and he did it.  We both made the decision but he did the leg work.  Part of the stress can be doing it all on your own and it is a part time job at least.  Give him jobs to take the load off.
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    edited December 2011

    Thank you guys so much!
    Oh and I found these places that are not extremely far from where I live. 
    I love the pictures on this website : but there is like zilch info and when I called them no one answered.  

    This is the other place I love:

    Isn't the banquet hall so flipping cute?

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    edited December 2011
    I agree with MandyBear - first come up with a rough guest list and budget this help you to easily narrow down some choices based on size and cost. 

    Also, from reading your posts, it sounds like you actually have a pretty good idea of what you want: you know the city/town you want to have it in, you know you want dancing, you plan to serve hors douevres and cake.  It seems like you're well on your way to figuring it all out. 

    Just take a deep breath, and step away from the computer.  It will begin to fall into place.  Best wishes to you!  :-)
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