wedding etiquette - confused

kzdybak

from pa and planning on a maui wedding in august ... we have verbally invited close family and friends and have received confirmation on about 10 guests. we are also planning on having a party 3 weeks after returning from hawaii. question (1) do we still need to send out wedding invitations to all family/friends or is a wedding announcement and party invite substantial? (2) should we send out save the date cards or no need. (3) and do we include registry information on the party invite or is that tacky ... i know family and close friends will want to give a gift?  any ideas are much apprecited!  

kimmykupcakes

(1) Only send a wedding invite to those who are actually invited to the wedding.  Send an announcement and AHR invite to the others.

(2) Really that is up to you.  We are sending out save the dates for both our wedding and AHR. I would for sure do it for your AHR.

(3) NO! NO! NO! Beyond tacky. Make sure to have close family and friends pass on where you are registered and put it on your wedding website, if you plan on having one.

sharkbitemiller

I'm sending an wedding invite to everyone even though I know for sure who will make it to Hawaii. There will be an insert with a STD for the AHR. Then I will also send the same guests a seperate invite to the AHR. I didn't want to make people feel like they were left out by not getting invited to the wedding. I figured, if they are willing to make their own accomidations and/or travel plans to come to my wedding then the more the merrier! Also, I already received a "I'm sorry I cannot make it to Hawaii but I would love to help with some of your cost as my gift to you".

I'm including my gift registry info on my wedding website only.

sld0618

1. YES send them out to everyone, even for those who say they can't come because they may want to keep it and still feel invited.  I was upset when my friend sent me a STD and then I said I couldn't come and I was not sent an invite.  I considered it rude that she wasn't willing to pay for an invite when I wasn't coming.

2. I did not send out STD's.  I talked to the main people going, and we all felt it was a waste of money.  Everyone knew the date already and it wasn't really needed.  The only OOT guests for my AHR is my family and they already know that date as well.  It's really up to your group of people.

3.  It depends on your culture/how you were raised/where you live if this is okay or not.  My family and I personally don't like it, so I am putting it on my wedding website and instructing my family to tell people when they ask.  But yet, my cousin put a registry slip in her invite.  My aunt was really offended by this though, so I guess it's really up to you!! 

cryssv

1. Although my 15-20 close family and friends knew the exact date of the Hawaii ceremony (we gave 1 yrs notice to all) we did the boarding pass invitation for the cutesy keepsake... even for those who couldn't afford to make it in the end, we sent them out at the 4 month mark. For your AHR it really depends how formal you want to go? If it's not a formal event you don't really need to worry about fancy invitations if you don't want to. 

2. We chose not to do save the date cards to save money. We had the Maui wedding website up for our guests to follow along with travel plans and progress with the date there and for the AHR we called or messaged each person for their mailing address around the 5 month mark and confirmed the reception date then - they'll recieve the inviations for that at the 2 month mark - I figured that was enough warning for our guests.

3. Registry really is up to you. You'll hear lots of feedback and opinions on that one. I personally chose to list it on my website only.

kaesha

Do NOT include registry information with the invite. Elsewhere = okay. Invite = NO.