Open Letter Monday

JanineRM

Saw this on another board and thank goodness I did - so here it goes:Dear FMIL,First, I would like to thank you for all the help with the wedding so far. With that said, we would greatly appreciate it if you took a step back. You see, this wedding is about us as a couple. I understand you want to be a part of things, but at the same time you end up taking over. For example, the centerpieces. I didn't even get a chance to look for anything regarding centerpieces, before you and FSIL presented me with numerous vases, candles and flowers that you thought would work best. I ended up liking these, but I also felt a little forced to like them. And well, I missed out on that part of the planning.  This has been happening along the way. And now, I am feeling like this is no longer the wedding that I pictured/wanted, but rather one of your family events. And your email today about getting an updated RSVP list to see who has and hasn't responded so you can add more people is crossing the line. THIS IS OUR EVENT NOT YOURS. It is not fair to anyone for you to even mention that you would do that. Especially since FI's/Your guest list was over the alloted limit. And considering that it was more YOUR guests and not FI's. So please, it would be less stress for us all if you could just sit back, relax, and enjoy the day. Not plan it. Thank you. Sincerly, Your FDILP.S. I know that my mom may not be in the same state as me, but that doesn't mean I need you to fill in for her.Oy, that felt a little better....

jujubee96

wouldn't it be awesome if you could send her that letter?  Maybe you could tell her the main gist of it ...   eek, so sorry she's taking over like that!!!  I know I would have hated that.Hope she stops doing that!

kaesha

Good letter!

kwippy

when an ex of mine was going through therapy over his divorce, he was told to do the same thing, write letter that explains how the person hurt you and that may or may  not reach the intended person, but just to vent.  This is a healthy way to cope and hopefully, it relieved some stress!  Good luck and hope it all works out

JanineRM

Thanks ladies! I wanted to send something to her, but FI said he wants to talk to her about it. So I'm going to let him do his thing and hopefully that will straighten this all out.

aggiem

I know how you feel - esp about the extra guests!  FMIL is still trying to add guests for ours, and all invitations have been sent/wedding is a month and a half away!

~BFF~

I don't have much to add.  I just wanted to say that it's a very well written letter - bummer about the FMIL.  I'm glad FI is super supportive of you and willing to talk to her about it.   Maybe she will take it better if it comes from him.  Good luck!