Aloha and Vendor Reviews

pueo

Aloha,I have been a lurker for a while now as I have yet to finalize a date and venue.  It will be sometime in 2010.  Thank you to everyone for all of the helpful and inspiring posts!  Obviously the vendor reviews are especially helpful and will be even more so once I get the time and place booked.  The vendor review debate from a couple weeks ago grabbed my interest and inspired me to finally chime in, because I don't understand why someone cannot give a negative review.  Were sarafina's reviews deleted a second time?  I cannot find them...

kaesha

Well, I didn't do it, which means the Knot Gods did. From my understanding, they felt that there was a liability issue.

kaesha

Oh, and you can leave negative reviews, they just need to be super carefully worded. Knot Annie told me they decided it was vendor bashing (after being contacted by the vendor) because the word 'idiot' was included.

lilbelle

Hi there! Everything Kaesha said is right. I thought I would chime in and say I learned the hard way. For my wedding 5 yrs ago, I left a "negative" review. Turned out, that vendors also lurk on The Knot. That vendor left me nasty voicemails and threatened to sue me for slander. It got ugly. So, be watchful of what you say and be mindful that vendors come on the boards too.

kwippy

Holy cow Catherine, sorry to hear you got harassed for posting that review!!!  Since I work in government, I'm pretty familiar with the qualifications for defamation, and if you're telling the truth, that is NOT slander!  Slander is something that is untrue, causes damages, and prevents a person from getting employment.  Pueo, the best way to get an honest review, post your experience on the board about a vendor and ask them to email you directly. Also, a lot of the knotties have it on their bios.  Yelp.com is another way that I vent, but I try to leave out the explicit language (but its so hard!)

kaesha

Kwippy's right, I think a lot of the vendors that complain (and there are a lot) don't have a leg to stand on. They're just posturing with the "I'll sue you for slander" talk. Seriously, the cost alone for laywering up... FWIW, sarafina's posts re: Dan Sanchez weren't considered vendor bashing. At the end of the day, I think it's all about the framing.Bad: "Don't hire Jimmy the Clown! He's a total waste of money and is a crappy make-up artist. He covered my face with thick white pain! What an idiot!"Good: "My experience with Jimmy felt disappointing. I felt like our time together didn't meet my expectations. At the end of the day, I feel like less make-up would have been more appropriate.In the second example, I'm not critiquing the person directly, you know? Alternatively, you can always go for the sandwich technique (which is how we deliver bad news to students' parents), where you say one bad thing in between two good things. Again, sarafina did that well with her follow-up on Dan Sanchez. She said she liked his energy, and he was a lot of fun, but that she had to be really, REALLY clear on what she wanted and he was late.I could go on and on about this.

carrieoz_76

I *strongly* feel that deleting vendor reviews is just plain crummy, and frankly anti-consumer.  Does Amazon delete reviews of items sold on their site just b/c someone says it stinks?  Not unless the review is offensive.  What about TripAdvisor?  They allow the vendor to provide an explanation, but they're not deleting honest negative reviews.  That might be a better option here in order to let Knotties make up their own minds.  I frankly worry that the connection between websites (or magazines) and advertisers has an effect on content.  These boards should be a resource, and vendor reviews are meant to encourage providing a better product by supporting the best vendors and discouraging bad practices.  You know, some of the best travel guides (yay, Maui Revealed!) are books that aren't supported by advertisements by the very people who are being reviewed.  It's hard to really be neutral on vendor reviews when some of the vendors being reviewed are also your advertisers.Anyhoo, there are other sites for this type of information.  For example, the Bridal Bargains book website has message boards here - http://www.windsorpeak.com/bridalbargains/board.html - and that site is commercial-free, so you don't have to worry about a conflict of interest.Carrie

MrsNicole&Brian808

Okay, so I guess it's time to address the elephant in the room.  I didn't comment further on this subject because I thought it would blow over, but....As you all probably know, I was the one who asked for clarification of the board rules.  I felt that if everyone knew how the Knot gods interpret the rules, this could prevent unilateral deletions, which would then deprive other Knotties of the review altogether, especially if the posting Knottie does not have these reviews available via a married or planning bio.However, based on all the subsequent comments (or lack thereof), it seems as though I was the only one wondering about how to interpret the rules.  Some of you are probably not happy with me asking this question and may even hold me responsible for the deletion of sarafina's review posts.   I assumed we could all benefit from someone broaching this touchy subject, but, instead, my question ended up ruffling some feathers.  This was not my intent.

kaesha

Nicole, it definitely wasn't you. So, no, no elephant here! If I don't delete something, that means the knot gods did, and that means there's been some kind of vendor contact. They let us monitor our own thing otherwise.Clarification is good! I think the vendor rules are a work in progress, they were only instituted in what? December? There are a lot of kinks to work out and further clarifications to be made.

MrsNFB

pueo - I know the vendor that you are referring to and I also was shocked by this person's public response on her blog. The response was brutal and way over the top, it also made me think differently about this particular person. Even though I don't know them, I've been on the Knot/Nest for years and didn't imagine that this is how someone so "nice" would react. Nicole - it was def the Knot Gods who removed that review probably because this same vendor contacted them since she is an advertiser. It's nothing that you did. On a similar note, I had recommended my coordinator on the Big Island to someone on The Knot (I refer her all the time, I had a great experience) and they ended up having a terrible experience. Instead of posting on The Knot, she put up her review on Yelp.com...perhaps that's what others should do since it seems The Knot definitely skews their loyalty to advertising dollars versus honest vendor reviews by real people. Then, when you list your vendor reviews, if there is a negative one...just refer to your review on Yelp.com. Just an idea...

ginajade

Man, this thing has definitely ruffled some feathers!  I honestly didn't really think much of Sara's review at the time - I just saw it as her personal opinion and if I was still in the market for a WC, it wouldn't be enough to sway me not to use someone.  I actually thought the vendor's response on her blog was way more of a turn off.  And that's not the first time she's bashed a client on her blog. When I was first debating whether to use a WC, I went on her blog and read a 2008 entry where she bashed a former client and I was kind of put off by the unprofessionalism- I just feel like as a vendor, you need to rise above that kind of thing and take the high road.But definitely baseed on the knot rules, it's hard to really put a lot of value into vendor reviews on here, because the ones that you find are the ones where nothing ever goes wrong and everyone is a perfect vendor.  And while it would be great to think that every vendor is "A+++++++++" to the entire world, based on my own planning process, I can't believe no one has ever encountered a single frustration with any of their vendors. But whatever... I wish you had to be a member of the knot to be able to read the community board, but that is another topic all together.

kaesha

If you're concerned about it (and I completely understand being that) and want to talk to someone who actually has power (I'm just a lowly volunteer, ne?), I highly suggest emailing your concerns to Knot Annie at messageboards@theknot.com.

MauiWedding08

it is unfortunate that we can't share the good, the BAD, and the UGLY.  I lucked out and didn't really have any issues with my vendors (tiny things didn't flow as well as I expected during the reception at the Seawatch, but it was totally minor).I can't believe the blog post about "vendor bashing" on that particular vendor's business blog.  I would never recommend a vendor that did anything like that, it totally seemed unprofessional and weak.