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Guest list... issues...

So.. I'm just writing to vent I suppose. One of the reasons why we were getting married in Hawaii is to keep the wedding small. Boy, was I wrong. It looks like there will be 140 people coming to our wedding. Big families and my FI is very loved in his family.There are a plethora of problems:1. Keiki beach, my favorite, only allows 100. 2. We want to do it on the North Shore, majority of people are wanting to stay in Waikiki, Transportation is long and expensive.3. Price, of course.Ahh! Now we are thinking about doing it in Loulu Palm, but the issue is now that we are learning everyone wants to do it in Waikiki, should we just do it in a hotel there?So many dang decisions!

Re: Guest list... issues...

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    LilSwtAzynLilSwtAzyn member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Definitely do it the way you want. I was in the same boat... and FMIL really wanted it at a hotel but i wanted an outdoor beach wedding.. well we "compromised" by doing it at the halekulani and having the ceremony outdoor at their courtyard.. but after a couple of months I REALLY REGRETTED IT (it was no lanikuhonua like originally planned)... so i was so sad and so dissapointed that my wedding hadn't come out the way I had dreamed about.. eventually FI knew how upset he was and we found are now actually getting married at his uncle's beach side estate but then going back to halekulani for the reception.. i'm much happier now that I still have my perfect beach side wedding.... so to make it short... don't do it just cause everyone wants to.. its your one special day, you memory, and your wedding.. your time to be selfish.
    Planning BIO! / Halekulani / Aug 29 2009
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    burichanburichan member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks Tya,The amount of people are no causing it to be so expensive for transportation!Usually for the weddings, everyone is staying close by. Our family is really close and it's a bummer that it's not going to be this way. There are no cheap hotels up at the north shore, I told a lot of people that vacation rentals are the way to go, but they want to stay in a hotel. Which i don't blame them. I'm just bummed.
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    edited December 2011
    Aren't they going to rent cars while they are there?  I don't think the drive between Waikiki and North Shore is that bad.  I made my guests drive on their own, 45 minutes or so from the ceremony site to the reception site.  And the ceremony site was I think 20-30 minutes away from Waikiki.  Everyone showed up - I really think it's okay!  If they are flying out all the way to Hawaii, what's a 40-50 minute drive?  It's not like in our own hometowns, we've never had to drive that far for weddings, right?  In SoCal, I've definitely had to drive far for weddings before, and I didn't mind... felt like that just comes with weddings sometimes. So long way of saying do it where you want!  It seems like Loulu Palms is so so beautiful!
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    edited December 2011
    another thought - it would be a shame to go all the way to Hawaii and not be able to have your dream wedding.  It would defeat part of the purpose of going to Hawaii in the first place!
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    edited December 2011
    You need to be able to live with the consequences of the decisions you make.  You don't want to have any regrets come the day-of.  If you give in to the pressures of family and change to a Waikiki venue, will you regret it?  If you don't change venues and keep North Shore, are you ready to deal with the potential fallout?We had a local wedding with only a handful of OOT guests so we knew our guest list could get out of control very quickly.  We decided to secure our venue first and then worried about the guest list after.  I had my heart set on Ko Olina.  I knew it would be a far drive for some of our guests, that our ceremony time might be a bit early and that we'd have to be selective about how many people we invited since our reception venue only held so many people.  Our venue helped keep our guest list (and cost) under control.  When family members kept wanting to add people to the guest list, we simply told them that our venue was not large enough.GL making your decision!
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    destiny1108destiny1108 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ladies are right, you need to do what makes you happy for your ceremony and reception.   The drive to North Shore was more like an hour and 15 minutes going and about an hour back so it may be worth paying for transportation and then they can stay in Waikiki for the things they want to do on the other days.Get a venue that can accommodate the maximum number of guests just to be safe.  One thing we didn't want to have to worry about was turning away people.
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    hulaomaninihulaomanini member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think its nice that you are concerned about your guests but its your wedding and I would say do it the way you want. even though 140 people are set to come I don't think all will be at the ceremony so you might still be able to do it there. Guests should know that its your day and hopefully they are flexible. they are there for you guys not them:) good luck.
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