Local Bride with Guests from the Mainland

humblebtuna

Anyone else from the mainland but living and getting married in Hawaii? I'm having issues with my bridal shower. Mom is throwing me a shower in PA and its causings some issues. How did/would you handle these situations? - Not all of my mom's invitees are invited to the wedding. My FI and I are paying for the wedding and we simply can't afford to invite everyone. Is it wrong to invite them to the shower and not the wedding? We are only inviting close friends/family to Hawaii. Mom, on the other hand, wants to invite everyone for fear that they'll feel left out. - We don't want to register bc we know that shipping gifts can be expensive. Instead, we're going to provide a list of places on the island we'd like GC's from. And we also set up a Honeyfund.com registry. For the bridal shower, my mom is going to inform guests of these things, as well as letting them know that smaller gifts will also be apprecited. Living/getting married in Hawaii, when your family is on the mainland is getting to be a pain in the arse!

A.a.A.

Hi! I'm from California but have lived in Hawai'i and will move back in a few months when I'm done with school in NY. My mom's friends are going to throw me a shower in California, and my MOHs are throwing me one in Hawai'i for all my girlfriends to attend. -I think it would be weird but also fine to invite them to the bridal shower but not the wedding. I know that only my family's very closest friends will be able to make it to the wedding. IMO, I think that it would still be fun for your mom's invitees to at least be able to participate in one part of the wedding process. Maybe you can explain at the shower that you are having an intimate wedding in Hawai'i, and leave it at that? -I agree with you about the shipping thing. I hadn't really thought of that! GC's are a great idea! After our wedding, we're having an AHR in California later. Good thing my mom has offered to plan that. What a headache!

tifani27

I understand ya!!!! My mom threw my a bridal shower in AZ, and tons of guests were invited to it but not invited to the wedding on Maui. Not one single person had a probelm with it and everyone just enjoyed celebrating with me! I am also having a reception in AZ after the Maui wedding so that helped because many understood they would be invited to that but still, so many people understood that Hawaii is not for everyone to atend. So no worries there We also used Honeyfund and my mom did tell the bridal shower guests about it and many used the honeyfund thing-I love it! So no owrries I think you will be fine and honestly I don't think anyone will have hurt feelings, if they do, who cares it's YOUR wedding!!!!

kwippy

I had a small shower with very close relatives there so i can't lend any advice about that, however, im exactly on the same boat as you when it comes to wedding presents.  I wrote on our wedding website that although we love any gift we receive, we simply cannot keep household items in our tiny apartment.  We are in the process of getting rid of everything we don't need!  I just had a guest of my FI call and ask where we were registered and I told him we weren't registered anywhere and would like to keep the household gifts down to a minimum.  He asked what others were planning to give us and I just answered honestly that in Hawaii we usually just get monetary gifts (which now that i think about it might've come off a rude and money grubbing), but I would hate to get an item I have absolutely no room for.  Unfortunately a lot of our OOT guests have not read our website thoroughly and we have only received one deposit on our traveljoy honeymoon registry.   Sorry for the epic novel response.  HTH a little!