AHR Vent.

Tanq&Tonic

So it has become clear that planning the AHR in parallel with the wedding was the single biggest mistake / bad decision of this entire process.  Not because the AHR is actually hard to pull off, but moreso because dealing with the parents on both sides often feels like talking to a BRICK WALL.

We asked to have their guest lists by Jan 15, giving us 1 month to scrub, aiming to mail out by Feb 15.  As of tonight, we still do not have usable lists.  For example, we have quality information, such as:

Cousin Andy & wife - Austin, TX
(yes, that's all.  No last name / wife's name, no address)

Mr. & Mrs. Cindy Lee ...
(um, yeah...)

Dr. Susan Smith (husband?)
(yes, complete with question mark)

Mr. & Mrs. James Jones and kids
(we asked you for the kids names, in age order...)

Of the 100 names from one side of the family, 75 are wrong / incomplete.

*sigh*  If nothing else, this experience validates the decision to have a DW that we paid for & had control over

cryssv

Ugh.... I completely feel your pain on this one!! Granted FI and I are happy that we will have the AHR now that it's been put in front of us but from the beginning stages it was really not for us- it was more for the benefit of the parents. Everyone (aside from my Dad) has been completely absent from the plans in the last few months.... Leaving FI and I on our own to basically plan 2 weddings and spend far more money than planned (as was not the original plan). At this point, if I didn't have printed invitations sitting on my living room floor I would completelywash my hands of it. Oh and when I contacted FI's mom for addresses she wouldn't provide us with any addresses- she thought it would be nice if we phoned each and every guest on their list to personally collect their address!!!

sld0618

Wellllllllllll. Positive note is they want ppl there?!? My FMIL said there was no one she wanted to invite besides her sister and mom. Hmmm okay.

Tanq&Tonic

Haha - I guess there are positives to either side.  Would it be totally terrible for me to hand each mom a stack of invitations and say "invite away"?  Our ballroom has a ridiculous limit that we won't reach (like 500).  I didn't want to do that at first knowing they would inevitably insult someone with how the invites got addressed, but now, I don't have time to chase these down, and even if I did, I wouldn't be able to get it right (90% I've never met).

kaesha

I definitely say let them handle it.

McBeags

We have not even picked a date for ours and I keep saying I don't even want to bother with it. You girls are making me think this is the right decision.

kimmykupcakes

Let them do it.  You tried and they didn't give you the information you needed.  put the ball in their court and walk always from it.  You have way to much other stuff to do.