I know there's mistake in this, but I'm too tired to fix them. I'm so exhausted right now. Emotionally drained in every way. Last night wasn't good. FI thought it was good that he did talk to his parents about everything and now knows where they stand. But, it's what was said, as far as I'm concerned, that isn't good.
First off, FI's father said he's probably not going to the wedding. It's a power play on his part, I know, but it really hurt to hear. I pretty much started crying as soon as I heard that. From there it all went down hill.
They had so many things to say about me that weren't very nice or true. The thing that I am the most confused about is saying I am unsocial and not very outgoing. I am so freaken social I always have way to much to do and too many commitments. I'm always bouncing around at events, getting to know new people and making new friends.
They said they would help with some of the wedding, but only at a price. Basically, if we accept their help with anything for the wedding than we owe them. They said they only do things for others expecting something in return. They told FI that they have done a lot for him in his life and he owes them for it. If they want him to come over and do stuff at their house then he needs to come over and do it because they have done so much for him. They know he has his own house now and we have lots to do on it, but they don't care. Their house comes first, even though they are both retired, have lots of time to do their own stuff and fully capable of doing it themselves.
I'm sorry, but I am unaware of doing things for others only to get something in return. I do many things for my daughter and do not expect anything in return from her for it. I do many things for friends, family and co-workers and do not expect anything in return. I do it because I want to and it's nice of me to do. I don't understand doing something for someone and then holding it against them making them feel that they owe me.
Now knowing that FI's parents feel this way makes me not want anything from them ever. I can't go through my life always feeling like I owe somebody something and never knowing if I've done enough to satisfy the debt that they think I have to them.
They had a lot of complaints about our wedding. FI's dad told him if we didn't want to have a wedding here then we should go and do it by ourselves. Why did we need to have anyone else there? FI tried to explain to him how much the wedding would cost us to do here since we both had such big families and he replied if we couldn't pay for everyone then we shouldn't get married.
FI's mom said she didn't ask about the ring because I should be running around and showing it off to everyone. I personally think it's rude to flaunt things of that nature. Especially, in this economy. I was so hurt that they didn't say a thing about the wedding or engagement that I wasn't about to throw my hand in their face.
Why haven't FI's parents said anything about the wedding, engagement or told him congratulations? Because he always said he wasn't going to get married when he was younger. Why does FI's mom treat me the way she does? Because FI has had other girlfriends and he's not with them anymore so she doesn't want to get to close. Even though we've been together longer than any of his other relationships, own a house together and are now engaged.
There is so much more, but I am having a really hard time writing this. I'll fill you in on the rest when I am feeling better. Sorry if some of this isn't clear. I didn't sleep much last night and don't think my thought process is working correctly.