Starting to Panic (long)

jnickers98

We chose our church because it has a lot of meaning to FI and his family.  This is where he went to school (K-12) and also where his mom's funeral was held.  We were very disappointed to find out that the Father who planned to do our ceremony had the dates messed up on his vacation and would not be able to perform our ceremony.  We were disappointed, but decided it was still important for us to be married at this church.  I was also disappointed to find out that the church does not have a wedding coordinator (they had eliminated the position for cut-backs).  Last night we also found out that the Music Director is leaving for a new job in Naples, FL.  She said she'd get everything in order before she left.  Basically, this means everyone who is part of our ceremony won't actually belong to the church we are getting married in.  Did I mention that our fill-in priest just became ordained in May?  So we will also be one of his first weddings.Without a coordinator, we are worried that noone will really know what's going on.  Will we even be able to get in the church?  Who will tell us when to line up and go down the aisle?  My PA has graciously agreed to be a reader as well, so I'm afraid she won't be able to stay at the back of the church with us and help.Am I stressing over nothing or is this a legitimate concern?  Is there such a thing as a Ceremony Coordinator?  How do I find one?

joe&laura

My DOC is new to the wedding coordinating business but seemed to be very knowledgeable of weddings when I met with her and is SUPER reasonable.  She is willing to do whatever I need her to do!  She charges hourly or has packages, so I'm pretty sure she would be your ceremony coordinator if you need one!!  If you post your email address, I can send you her contact information.  Her name is Caitlin Conley with Ease Events.  She doesn't have a website up and running yet (she's currently working on it) but she will send you any information you need.Also, she was used by a fellow knottie a few months ago and got an A+ rating from her.

hkiesling

Our church doesn't have a coordinator and it never occured to me to be worried about it.  In all the weddings I've been in, no one every told us when to walk down the aisle.  You just plan it out at the rehearsal.  You play through the music and decide (when the couple in front  gets to X pew then the next couple goes).  Ask the church what time they will unlock the doors and the number of a person to call if they aren't locked.  Our pastor said, "we don't schedule the start of the ceremony.  I go when you (pointing to me) when you go."  basically, if we run late or early no big deal.  He starts when I show up at the end of the aisle.

periippa

I don't think you're stressing over nothing -- I'd be stressing too! I'd also suggest hiring a DOC, even if it's just for a few hours. It would take a lot of stress off your mind! The DOC would make sure everyone is in the right place at the right time.I'm sorry that it didn't work out with your minister   BUT the fill-in priest is probably still qualified! Priests have to go through quite a bit of training (and they've attended TONS of services) before they are ordained. Maybe try to meet with him or talk with him about everything before the wedding, and that should calm your nerves. Plus, he should be able to go over the music with you too -- that's a critical part of most services.

beka0404

Does the parish have an office administrator of some sort? She (or he) may be able to help with many of your questions - it my home church, the office admin ALWAYS knows what's going on - she's a rock!Is there an aunt or a relative that you could ask to help with coordinating at the church? Another friend that you would trust to help line everyone up?

els8383

I would hire a DOC if I were you.  In weddings I've been in, it's really nice to have someone to tell you when to go.  You don't think you need it, but then the music starts and your nerves kick in and you forget everything they told you in the rehearsal.  It might be worth the money just to give you peace of mind!! My DOC is great - Stephanie with First Blush Bride.  I would definitely check her out http://firstblushbride.googlepages.com/firstblushbride

jnickers98

Do you think a DOC would adjust the cost to only include the rehearsal and ceremony (ie: no vendor mgmt, reception, etc)?  Our budget is being pushed to the max but I think this would be worth the piece of mind.

els8383

Sure, there might be one who is willing to work out a special package for you.  It might be worth a email anyway!  Or do you have a reliable friend or family member who might feel up to that task?

jnickers98

I've got a couple of emails out to DOCs, so hopefully I'll hear something back that can put my mind at ease. 

littlemissflip

Like one of the pp said, we just planned this all out at rehearsal, and it went very smoothly.  We ran through it a few times to get the timing right and work out a few logistical details (like how to move the sand ceremony stuff into place).  None of it was an issue on the actual wedding day.  FWIW, we were the first wedding our officiant (a friend who happens to be a pastor) ever performed, but he'd studied up on ceremony conventions and worked closely with us to plan the ceremony, and he did a fantastic job!