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Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul

People asking about the wedding....

So - this past week 2 people have texted me asking me when the wedding is so they can make plans for it.  The 2 people were my very very good friends back in college (5 years ago). These 2 friends didn't know each other (1 was from the dorms and one from classes) so it's totally random that they both texted me this week. We kept in touch the first few years, but haven't talked much the past 2 years as we don't live in the same state anymore/life is changing. We know what's going on each other's lives due to facebook updates, but haven't actually talked for a long time.  The 2 people are possible invites on our invite list as I feel they were great friends, but we haven't kept in touch. They are on our possible list because we haven't talked to them in over 2 years.How have you been handling people that ask you about the wedding and assume they are invited? We'll most likely invite these people, but just curious how others are handling it and if you've experieced this at all?

Re: People asking about the wedding....

  • MsCrispyMsCrispy member
    edited December 2011
    I would decide if you are inviting them.  If you are, then it's easy and you can just tell them when the wedding is.If you aren't, then I would tell them that space is very limited, you have big families, whatever, but you would love to have them, unfortunately you can't.  Better off telling them straight than them making plans or continuing to ask and then getting hurt.But it's easier said than done.  I've had a coworker that's hinted "where's my invitation" and I've just ignored it.
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  • kkaew816kkaew816 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Luckily this hasn't happened to me (yet!) I just don't get how people can just assume they are invited! This one friend from college verbally invited me to her wedding right when she got engaged, but I never got an invite and never brought it up. Actually, now that I think about this, one of FI's friends asked about it and we both replied that it will be a small wedding with only close friends and family. You can try that approach.
  • edited December 2011
    I usually try not to bring up the wedding with people I'm not sure about inviting, or steer the conversation away from it as fast as I can...because it usually ends in people going so far as to say "You better invite me!" or "My invitation better not get lost in the mail!" which is a HUGE pet peeve of mine, but whatever...As far as actually telling them, I'd go with what others have been saying, that space and (I sometimes say budget) is limited so I'm having a small wedding and I can't invite everyone.
  • leahluleahlu member
    edited December 2011
    I actually had a friend I hadn't seen in nearly 2 years say "you better make me a bridesmaid." Ummm... no. If someone is asking about the wedding am I'm not sure they are invited I just blow it off by exasperatedly saying "oh don't even make me think about a guest list right now, I'm so behind in planning."
  • wittyschaffywittyschaffy member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Our guest list getting figured out was priority #2 (after we picked the reception venue) so we knew right off the bat who we wanted and who wasn't gonna make the list - which isn't to say that we didn't make small adjustments to the list over the course of planning.  Anyone who was rude enough to assume they were invited when they weren't and asked about it got told that we were including as many of our friends and family as our budget and venue allowed but that we weren't able to include everyone.  Same went for people who wanted to add their children.  If we couldn't host all of hubby's gigantic immediate family, we certainly weren't going to be able to include our cousin's children or children of friends.
  • edited December 2011
    this kept happening to me as well! and what bothered me the most is that I left feeling the like the bad guy, even though they are the ones that are completely rude for asking! all of the previous posts gave great answers. recently i just told someone that we had to cap the list for budget reasons, and that we had a lot of family to include.
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