Ugh. All is totally better now and it was great for us in the long run but man was he an a@$ for the past day or so. What I learned:
1. mr.owl does not care about the wedding as much as i do, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to see me happy
2. mr.owl hates it when i bombard him with details but hates it more to be out of the loop. share information regularly but not obsessively. got it.
3. mr.owl thinks it sucks that we're spending so much money right now and didn't really get that we spend like half now (on deposits) and then like nothing at all until 2 months before the wedding. he still hates it but at least he understands that we won't be bleeding money for much longer.
4. miss owl is pissy that mr.owl hasn't yet given her his share of the budget from his personal account into their wedding account. this makes her freak out about dollars even though they have them. mr.owl needs to give her at least half his share right away.
5. when they get upset, the owls need to go to different rooms for awhile. mr.owl is an internal processor, meaning he needs time and space. miss owl is an external processor, meaning she needs her columbus board ladies and maybe her journal or a call to a friend to sort it out. then they come back together and it's all ok.
6. mr.owl doesn't want to spend every penny given to us for the wedding. miss owl does - they are, in fact, gifts FOR the wedding from their parents. the owls compromise by saying they will spend half of any parent money gifts on necessary wedding extras not covered in their original budget (honeymoon, rehearsal dinner) and half will go to joint savings.
boom. go team owl! feeling really good about this now. did you and your mr. have any fights recently or leading up to the big day? how did you resolve it?