Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul

Opinions wanted!

Good morning ladies!  As my fiance and I sit here staring at the rain we started talking about a couple things and I want opinions from other people.  Here's our questions:
1.  Does it look bad or is it bad taste not to have any food during your social hour?  

2.  How many of you are planning or did do some type of snack/food in the evening?

3. Is it a bad idea to invite people to the dance part of the reception only?  Reason I ask is my mother wants to invite all her co-workers, which would be another 80 to dinner, and I simply canot justify it.  She is fine with them just coming to the dance.  

I'll take any and all answers.  No plans have been made I am just wondering about it all.  Thank you!!
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Re: Opinions wanted!

  • nordkenordke member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Sounds like you're hitting on some of our uncertainties as well....  In my opinion:

    1.  Does it look bad or is it bad taste not to have any food during your social hour?
      We are not having food during our cocktail hour. We will offer drinks obviously, but it didn't work in our budget to do food as well. On our wedding website we made a little mention of things to do between the ceremony and reception and suggested that "Hennepin Avenue has some great eating establishments to grab a small bite to eat before dinner" to imply that food will not be served until then.

    2.  How many of you are planning or did do some type of snack/food in the evening? Yes we are, and basically decided to do this rather than have food during cocktail hour.  We'll be having sliders and fries served at about 10:30.

    3. Is it a bad idea to invite people to the dance part of the reception only?  Reason I ask is my mother wants to invite all her co-workers, which would be another 80 to dinner, and I simply canot justify it.  She is fine with them just coming to the dance.  Although I know proper etiquette would say in no way is this OK, we are also considering it, mainly for a few co-workers and softball friends that we have. We know they would be OK being included in only this part of the day (as they've mentioned to us), otherwise we would never consider it.  Haven't decided forsure if we are going to go this route, but I've seen it done before and it's worked out fine from what I know. If you think the guest is OK with this, then I say why not. If you do go this route, I would suggest having some sort of invite made up for them as well with only the info on it that you want them to have, rather than just having them invited through word of mouth or some other more informal way.

    These are just my opinions, I'm sure others will think much differently! Smile

  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Opinions wanted!:
    ]Good morning ladies!  As my fiance and I sit here staring at the rain we started talking about a couple things and I want opinions from other people. 

    Yeah the rain sucks and needs to stop Fiance and I were suppose to go for a walk.

     Here's our questions: 1.  Does it look bad or is it bad taste not to have any food during your social hour? 
    I come from  a small comunity I have only been to 2 wedds with social hours.  We are actually doing a candy Buffet.  It's not as expensive as catered food and people still have something to eat.  Plus aren't we taught as kids to to spoil our dinner.  My personal feeling is that it does not look bad.

      2.  How many of you are planning or did do some type of snack/food in the evening?

    This is something I remember as a kid, but I've really seen it go away.  We are not planning any kind of snack/food in the evening. 

    3. Is it a bad idea to invite people to the dance part of the reception only?  Reason I ask is my mother wants to invite all her co-workers, which would be another 80 to dinner, and I simply canot justify it.  She is fine with them just coming to the dance. 

    I have seen people invite coworks to a dance only.  In those cases they have just made a blanket invite for dance only and put it in a break room or something like that.  I agree with you that 80 people are alot of extras just for dinner, and plust you most likely do not know them.  I'm sure ettiqutely this is not  the right thing to do and I'm not sure how buy the book you want to be.  

    If I were in your shoes I would invite them to the dance only.

      I'll take any and all answers.  No plans have been made I am just wondering about it all.  Thank you!!
    Posted by ktwagner21

    Good luck!  I hope this rain stops real soon! 
    "Faith Hope and Love are some good things he gave us, and the greatest is Love"
  • edited December 2011
    1.  Does it look bad or is it bad taste not to have any food during your social hour? I don't think it is bad, some people don't eben have a social hour, so waiting until the meal is fine. 

    2.  How many of you are planning or did do some type of snack/food in the evening? I'm still deciding on this. I'm going to wait until we taste test and then we'll mae our decision.

    3. Is it a bad idea to invite people to the dance part of the reception only?  Reason I ask is my mother wants to invite all her co-workers, which would be another 80 to dinner, and I simply canot justify it.  She is fine with them just coming to the dance. Usually, I would think this is bad, but I think for your case its fine. Is your mom paying for the wedding? If so, then you could invite them to the dinner, if not, then its fine to have them come for the dance.  

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  • edited December 2011
    What kind of timeline are you considering? I think that makes a difference.  We had a noon ceremony, and the reception was at 2.  People knew ahead of time that was the timeline, so a lot of them had a late breakfast.  But we still wanted to give everyone something to eat, so we had a few cheese/cracker and veggie platters.  If it's later, and you have an open bar, I'd definite at least provide a small snack so people aren't drinking on empty stomachs.  

    Our timeline made a snack unnecessary, to be honest.  Although, we did grab a casual dinner with our families and the guests who were left. (We just grabbed apps and bar food at the hotel.) I think it's still a novelty idea, so people will appreciate it (but not expect it.)

    I hate hate hate tiered weddings. BUT even I think coworkers can be an exception.  As long as there are clear lines, you should be fine.  One thing to consider, though- are you having an open bar?  Because the dance might be just as expensive as dinner anyway ;)
  • andielizabethandielizabeth member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    1.  Does it look bad or is it bad taste not to have any food during your social hour?
    We had the same problem with not wanting to spend more money but I decided to buy some fruit & cheese and crakers. We are also having a candy buffet.

    2.  How many of you are planning or did do some type of snack/food in the evening?
    We decided to do this. Our caterer is a small family run business, so they offer to make small sandwiches at the end of the night with the left over meat that we have.
    3. Is it a bad idea to invite people to the dance part of the reception only?  Reason I ask is my mother wants to invite all her co-workers, which would be another 80 to dinner, and I simply canot justify it.  She is fine with them just coming to the dance. 
    I think an extra 80 people is a lot, so I understand you not wanting them for the dinner part. My only concern is the time line what if things are running late and your still eating when they show up? Will they know they are only invited to the Dance? Are you friends with these people? Do they have to be invited in the first place?
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  • edited December 2011
    I didn't have time to read all the posts before I got to my dress fitting but I'll give me answers (sorry if I repeat)
    1.  Does it look bad or is it bad taste not to have any food during your social hour? 
    No, Although if your social hour is serving alcohol and lasting longer than 1 hour I would provide food to keep people from geting drunk before dinner.

    2.  How many of you are planning or did do some type of snack/food in the evening?
    We are provided light aps during cocktail hour, and then mini burgers, and mini sandwiches at 10. I think its a nice touch these are also my go to drunk food. I also think it will help with the heavy drinkers and next day hang overs.

    3. Is it a bad idea to invite people to the dance part of the reception only?  Reason I ask is my mother wants to invite all her co-workers, which would be another 80 to dinner, and I simply canot justify it.  She is fine with them just coming to the dance. 
    People will argue that co-workers are the exception to the rule. Depending on who is paying (if your parents are) then mom gets her coworkers for it all. If she is not, I wouldn't invite them at all. If you are hosting the bar these guests will still cost you, so you might as well feed them on top of it.
  • wittyschaffywittyschaffy member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    1.  Social hour food - do you have a long gap between ceremony and reception?  Then I think that some food is polite, especially if you're serving alcohol because it will help sop up some of that.  :-P  Otherwise, if you're just doing a short dealie, then don't worry about it.  It is nice, but not necessary.

    2.  No snack for us.  We didn't sit down to dinner until 7 which meant that we didn't really get wrapped up until 8:30/9:00.  I just didn't feel that it was necessary  since they'd have to set it out an hour or two after dinner.

    3.  While I understand that your Mom wants to invite her co-workers, 80 is insane.  Are you going to really want to pay for their alcohol/pop/bottled water/whatever else you're having?  I had one person who came to just our dance and that was an old sorority sister of mine who just wanted to see the rest of the crew who was in town.  I had no problem with her singular consumption but if it would have been more than that, I would have said no.  I dunno, your wedding is a celebration of your marriage, not a club.  I guess if she wants to do that, I'd just stick something in a break room or something.
  • MrsBassPlayaMrsBassPlaya member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Good morning ladies!  As my fiance and I sit here staring at the rain we started talking about a couple things and I want opinions from other people.  Here's our questions:

    1.  Does it look bad or is it bad taste not to have any food during your social hour?  
    I don't think it's necessarily bad, but I definitely always appreciate when there's something to nibble on while drinking and waiting for dinner.

    2.  How many of you are planning or did do some type of snack/food in the evening?
    I want to do this so badly if I have the budget for it!  I've never been to a wedding with a late night snack, but as the evening draws on and the alcohol flows, I'm always wishing I had something to much on.  Such a great idea if you can swing the budget!

    3. Is it a bad idea to invite people to the dance part of the reception only?  Reason I ask is my mother wants to invite all her co-workers, which would be another 80 to dinner, and I simply canot justify it.  She is fine with them just coming to the dance.  
    Ok, the first this this makes me think is, why does your mom want to invite ALL of her coworkers?  If she's paying, I suppose she has some say in this, but honestly, if you don't know them I probably wouldn't invite them.  BUT, if you really want them there or want to make your mom happy, the tiered reception makes sense.  I'm not a fan, but there's no way I would invite 80 ppl I don't know to my wedding.  But I would definitely make it clear that it's for the dance only.

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  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    1. I think that it depends on what time of day it is. If It is at a time when you know that people will be getting really hungry, it might be best. However, if it is only for an hour and they know that they will be getting dinner soon, then I think that you're ok to skip it.

    2. We are not. I think that after feeding people a nice dinner we shouldn't need to give people more stuff to eat. Ours is a Sun night and wont get too terribly late anyway.

    3. I think that it is bad, but if they are coworkers of your mom's, then it is ok. They shouldn't expect anything else. 
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