Personal attendant - are you having one?

Izzygrim

Did you have or are you having a personal attendant? I wasn't planning on it until my florist (FI's cousin, so she knows me) strongly recommended it. I'm a bit of a control freak, so I can see myself feeling better handling as many of the details on the day of as possible ('as possible' being the key phrase there). Also, the two friends that I would think would make the best PAs are bridesmaids already. If I do a PA, I would want to make sure it's the right person (organized, take charge attitude, etc) - in other words, if I have one I want to make sure I can rely on them. I also don't plan on making things overly complicated or detailed, so I don't see a great need to have one. I like to take care of things myself I know, I know, good luck with that on the day of, huh?

What did you or are you going to do? Opinions?

ETA: I should add that I wouldn't expect the PA to become like a DOC, I just realized my post might be misconstrued that way. It's just that I've already asked everyone that I want to be in the bridal party, so I don't really have another person that I've been necessarily wanting to include. There are a couple of people I could ask, but at the same time, I've always seen the PA role as kind of a "runner up" to the WP. What do you guys see as a PA's role?

amberh0515

I am going to have one of my good friends do it. I would like her to be a part of the wedding party and she would be perfect to be my right hand woman.

I'm also not going to expect her to do DOC tasks either, just simple stuff like bring my bag to the hotel room, etc.

drdifabio

We hired a DOC so we are covered for DOC tasks already.

I have for sure 1 PA - she actually offered to be my PA because she has at other weddings and wanted to help so I took her up on it! She also is playing piano and singing at out ceremony so I am not sure if she will have to be taken away to do music stuff which is totally fine with me.

I have another possible PA - I did her hair and all her BMs hair (i think it was 7 girls in total) this last Jan and she said she was so grateful that she wanted to be my botch at my wedding (her words not mine so I though that PA might be a better title .

LolaBelle515

I chose to have 2 personal attendants because I had 2 friends that I really wanted around me during my entire wedding day and I knew they'd keep me laughing when little details get stressful and  need to happen.  

I really respect that you already have those friends you're closest to in the wedding party and don't just want to tack someone on....here's one thing to consider if you decide you do need a PA.  How about someone in your family? Is there an aunt or an adult-aged cousin that is good at details?  Often, some family members want to be really involved and might be good at it at the same time.

I'm keeping things simple, but I know there will be last minute things that come up (ie--lighting the candles at the reception site; paying for the late-night delivery pizza) that I'm glad someone will be there to help with.  That's what helped me make the decision.

Good luck--you'll make the right decision for you.

LittleSweetie

I guess I don't understand why people have PAs when there are BMs in the WP.  Shouldn't they help you bring your bag to your room, carry your emergency kit for you, get you water before the ceremony, decorate your room the night of (a fun touch!), help you relieve yourself at the reception, etc?  My BMs did (with the exception of the room thing left to my awesome DOC!).  The things the BMs do cancel out what a PA would do, and the "logistics" things that BMs can't do are DOC duties IMO.  What's the purpose of the BMs - just to look pretty??  I was pretty sure it was to help you get married on the day of your wedding and to support you in doing so.

I originally thought I only wanted my friends/sisters as my BMs, but I also wanted to include my cousin.  She's my only female cousin, and we're fairly close, so I thought I could include her as a PA to make her feel special.  The drawback though?  She would be "included" (meaning credited in the program, essentially), but busy all day, not able to enjoy herself, and disconnected from the rest of the WP when you think about it.  So, why not just make her another BM?  So I did.  It turned out that we had an even number of BMs/GM doing it that way, so it was a plus.

ETA: Other honorary rolls could include reader, soloist, greeter - all things that don't burden your family/friends/GUESTS from doing work on your wedding day that they should also get to enjoy.

I hired a DOC to take care of all the logistical stuff, decorate the reception hall, distribute flowers/corsages/bouts, etc. - the things a professional knows how to do efficiently.  A professional can also handle emergencies more swiftly than a one-timer PA could.  Totally worth the peace of mind IMO.

schumakr

I am not having a personal attendant either. Little Sweetie put my reason into the words I couldn't. My bridesmaids have told me that I don't need one because they'll be more than happy to do everything.

Side note: My FSIL asked me to be her PA (along side my FI's brother's SO, FI is an usher). She said she "wanted me to be involved in some way". Their wedding party is filled with their friends, so I guess they just needed somewhere to sick us.

beka0404

We're having my FI's two sisters-in-law as PAs. He comes from a tight-knit family, and we wanted to include them (their husbands are groomsmen) in an honorary role. I want them to be with the WP and enjoy their day, so no big tasks - just pinning bouts and riding around with the WP. (The DOC will handle most of the tasks and logistics.) Frankly, adding them as bridesmaids was not an option (for various reasons), so we're happy with the PA role.

In your situation, Izzygrim, I think asking your bridesmaids to help out w/ tasks (as LS mentioned) is a good idea.

veijes

I am having a PA becuase one of our GM is married and his wife went to school for hair and does it on the side. She offered to do my hair and wanted a role so she asked to be a PA, I was fine with it, now she is included in stuff like the groom's dinner and all that along wtih her husband. She hasn't helped much in the planning process and I don't know what I will expect of her on the day of?? I'm sure she will offer to do little things that need to be done, but I also have a DOC.

debbieupper

I'm having one - it's one of my best friends. I have a lot of sisters who are bridesmaids, plus a couple closest friends, but I did want this friend involved and knew she would do an amazing job of keeping me sane and laughing (I'm a bit of a control freak and she's one of the few people I would trust to get things taken care of well).

I don't know exactly what she'll do, but I'm really glad she'll be there with me.

abohlke

I went back and forth about this one for awhile too. especially when all of the vendors kept asking me about who mine was!!! One of my bridesmaids is doing my nails and makeup on the wedding day, so I just talked to her and decided to make her my PA as well as BM...not really sure what she'll need to do, but she's been a PA before and assures me she'll have everything under control! With 6 BMs i'm sure i'll have plenty of people around me all day to make sure everything is taken care of.