In A Wedding While Planning Your Own?

mabapunta

Have any of you been in a wedding and trying to help plan/pitch in for it while also trying to plan your own?

One of my best friends from college is getting married in November. We just finally decided a couple weeks ago that the Jack&Jill shower/bachelorette party would be August 11th/12th.

I'm sharing the MOH responsibility with another and there are 4 BMs...so 6 of us in the bridal party. Since we are all in 4 different states, we've had a running Facebook chat going for ideas about the shower, bachelorette party and wedding too (mostly for our attire).

Since the shower is just 2 weeks away, I've been trying to get everyone to respond with their ideas (the bride wants to be part of the planning; we will having the shower at her house) and everything so that it's actually a FUN day and relatively organized. I hate last minute planning, and really am not one to fly by the seat of my pants. My understanding is that the MOH is really supposed to do the planning for these events, so I've been trying to keep the ball rolling. But I don't really know what my friend and her fi want since there will be guys there too. I keep thinking that I would want my shower/bachelorette  to be pretty well thought out in advance, especially if people are traveling a few hours to get there...so I'm trying to do the same for hers. But I sometimes feel like I'm overstepping or being obnoxious for talking about it all the time, or asking the same question multiple times because I never get an answer the first time.

I'm sure some of you have been in this same kind of situation. How did you handle it?

eddiesgirl11

I am in my sisters wedding and am planning my own April wedding... while I cant relate to the shower problems ( my control freak sister basically told us where and when... but I def. feel stressed out with both weddings!

vk2204

Both my FI and I are standing up in a wedding in October, and I am standing up in a wedding next June.

For the October wedding, the groom's aunts and grandma offered to plan the shower. I have asked twice already what date they plan on having it and they still haven't decided. I am not sure if they realize how close the actual wedding is. It is very frustrating for me because I have other things going on, and it would be nice to have more than a few weeks notice for this shower. We are even waiting to decide on her bach party date because she doesn't want it the same weekend as her shower. On top of that I have an engagement party for the June wedding one weekend in Septemeber and for Labor Day we wanted to go up north.

I totally get wanting to know things in advance. My mother is throwing my shower and I want her to get a venue and date set ASAP. As for you trying not to overstep boundaries, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just because someone is the MOH doesn't mean they are awesome at planning stuff. As long as you aren't dictating what will happen, I wouldn't worry about it! You can always ask the bride and groom what types of activities they want to go on for the party.

Good luck!

erbear84

I'm in my friend's wedding two weeks after my own and she's in mine.  I have no problem with it except she wants us to order our bridesmaid dresses now and I'm not working + just bought a house so I am broker than broke.  

vk2204

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_in-a-wedding-while-planning-your-own?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:1aeada64-5811-4f24-818b-5443c9df79c7Post:883c944a-29b1-48df-9f49-d170e2298e33">Re: In A Wedding While Planning Your Own?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm in my friend's wedding two weeks after my own and she's in mine.  I have no problem with it except she wants us to order our bridesmaid dresses now and I'm not working + just bought a house so I am broker than broke.  
Posted by erbear84[/QUOTE]

The bride for the June wedding I am has picked her dersses out already and keeps moving the deadline to order them up. I told her that I have no extra cash to buy the dress now, she said no worries, she could buy it and that I could pay her back lol. She is stressing me out because I have no clue what I want to do for BM dresses yet!

erbear84

^ Yeah, me either.  My MOH is in London and she's the kind of person that needs to try on dresses so as much as I didn't want to go the national bridal shop route, I'm probably going to Alfred Angelo's since they have AA in England.  That's as far as I've gotten in picking out BM dresses!

mabapunta

I think it'll work out. We exchanged a lot of msgs in our FB chat last night, so I think we have an understanding that it's a pretty free form kind of day. Since it will be at her house, and the other MOH and BMs will be at her house before I am, I'm letting them take the reins.

I thought it was a bridal shower and I think that misunderstanding on my part made it more difficult haha. I got a few things for the bach party and offered a couple ideas for games that guys might enjoy too - Bingo about the couple and a blindfolded beer brand guessing game.

I just hope it's fun and not awkward. Luckily the other part of planning and such has been OK for the most part, especially since her BM dresses are all ordered now, and our weddings are in November then April so enough space apart.

VK - we're still working on BM dresses, too, so I hear ya! MOH and BMs all in 3 diff states, plus busy schedules...definitely tricky to coordinate! Good luck!!

Thanks, ladies!

[Deleted User]

I'm MOH for my friend's wedding in September, but other than the Bridal Shower they haven't given me a ton of responsiblity (all the other BMs are from out of town/country so there's not a lot of get-together between us, and her mom is covering most of the details anyhoo).  Unfortunately, they've given me a largely open slate with the shower and it's a bit daunting right now.

I'll probably ask her to be a BM for me.  Haven't gotten around to choosing my wedding party yet.

rmasoka

yes am in a wedding in December and mine is in April, but am not MOH for hers, so am not doing much YET. lol.  I almost feel bad coz I just have soo much of my own planning, I feel sooo behind.